Caseus Archivelox: 24 Hour Party People & Romance

2002-09-14 - 10:20 p.m.
Last night I went to see 24 Hour Party People with two friends. I was really looking forward to it, because it was partially about the greatest and second best band to come out of Manchester (that would be Joy Division and New Order (different enough that they aren't the same band), not Herman's Hermits and the Happy Mondays).

I thought that the credits and style of movie weren't entirely what I wanted. The jumpy handheld and almost illegible credits and captions really kept me from enjoying it as much as I would have. The part about Joy Division was completely brilliant though. Great music, and the entire movie had a wicked sense of humor. The interspersed bits of Steve Coogan (I seriously need to spend some time trying to find I'm Alan Partridge) as Tony Wilson doing various silly TV bits for Granada TV is inspired. Any movie is better if you include a decapitation, a monkey, and/or a midget. Well, this one doesn't have a decapitation or a monkey (although some of the characters are very simian), but it has a midget washing an elephant. The problem occurs in that around halfway through the movie the main reason to watch the movie commits suicide (not a spoiler). When Ian Curtis hangs himself before going to America after watching a movie about a musician who goes to America and hangs himself, the movie loses a lot. The parts about the Happy Mondays, while still wickedly funny, seem almost pointless. I hated them, and there was a great band from the period to focus on, but New Order got a few mentions, and a brief cameo with the actors portraying Peter Hook, Bernard Sumner, and Stephen Morris (who was playing the keyboards, rather than Gillian Gilbert, for some strange reason, although it wasn't completely clear that I am correct in that, as there certainly didn't seem to be a drummer in the recording) performing a rough version of Blue Monday (which apparently lost 5 pence on every copy of the biggest selling 12" of all time). Weak. The best parts of the Happy Mondays sections were the part where they poison pigeons on the roof. That was really funny. Also, when they first showed New Order, it was from the back of a huge stadium playing World in Motion. That's funny to those in the know. New Order rarely if ever showed their faces, and World in Motion is one of the least loved New Order songs. Mainly because it was for the 1990 England World Cup team. Which placed fourth, with an excellent team. Gary Lineker's name may not mean much to you, but he is one of the, if not the, best players in England's history. The song went to #1, but is just not even close to being as good as so much of the stuff they released before or after.

The problem with the movie was the complete lack of interest in any characters introduced in the Happy Mondays section. The Joy Division part was great though, and it was funny all the way through, so I'll give it an 8, because it had parts of the Atmosphere video, and it also had this crazy guy who kept singing Louie, Louie. And when Martin Hannett died of a heart attack at a very large weight, and his coffin couldn't fit in the grave, Tony said: "Martin Hannett, too big for death." Funny. What wasn't funny was the guy who sat in the back and laughed loudly at everything. Hey, that guy's getting a blowjob. Guffaw. That guy committed suicide. Guffaw. That guy just got left by his wife. Guffaw. That guy does a line of blow. Guffaw. That guy just lost all his money. Guffaw. I just wanted to go beat the s--- out of him. The movie was funny, but it wasn't constantly funny. That guy needed to get a sense of humor. Stat.

I just watched Romance. Yes, that 1999 French basically porno. I'd say it was trying to say something, except that I couldn't get past the fact that it was a typical pretentious French film that is trying to say something really important. But it's not like that hasn't been done better in a better movie: In the Realm of the Senses. Or Last Tango in Paris. And I don't even like Last Tango in Paris that much. Romance was just way too long. And it wasn't even that good. The funny thing about it is that my dad rented it and then my mom, halfway through watching it, realized that they had already watched the edited version of it. Also, apparently there was some Italian porno star in it. Well, I think he's Italian, but Rocco Siffredi certainly is a porno star. Let's just say that he has a very large cock and leave it at that. Too bad the movie wasn't as impressive as the size of his penis. Did I just go too far? Probably, but that's never stopped me before.