X-Men: The Last Stand, Superman Returns, & Inland Empire

X-Men: The Last Stand begins my 2006 minifest, apparently. For a bit of interesting trivia (hahaha...), this was directed by Brett Ratner (one of the worst directors currently working) who was originally attached to Superman Returns at some point, but moved over to film this after Bryan Singer left this film to film Superman Returns. I wish Singer hadn't switched. Ridiculous action scenes (in the bad way), stupid plot twists, and far too much Storm. And why the hell did they make Colossus American? I always liked him since I used to play as him in the X-Men beat-em-up arcade game. Oh, wait, he was in X2, but honestly, I gave up on the series pretty soon after watching the second one. So is killing a bunch of beloved characters and the like what passes for a good film nowadays? If so, beh. I can't imagine this film making many people happy. It was insanely violent, and not good.

Superman Returns would have been far better with Kevin Smith's script. That's Tim Burton's fault. Also, this is apparently why Cyclops was killed so quickly in X-Men. Had to be the guy better than Superman. Now, there's a serious problem with Lex Luthor's plan: it makes no sense. If he starts killing everyone on earth why does he think that the military wouldn't just come in and kill him? They're not going to be affected by a Kryptonite island. Also, the overuse of religious imagery bothered me. Kate Bosworth is clearly in her young 20s, making it highly unlikely for her to have been a famous reporter five years earlier. Come on, casting director, at least pick someone of a more reasonable age. The five years later plot requires older actors, and this doesn't have them. I never thought I'd praise the earlier Superman as a restrained film, but it's better than this overlong film.

Inland Empire may be Lynch's greatest film ever. Alternately, and more accurately, it's the film where Lynch went off the deep end. I didn't understand much of anything. The Polish scenes and all the other things may have made a somewhat reasonable film if they were just a bunch of shorts, but three hours of bizarre, with dancing to The Locomotion and At Last. Along with far too many closeups and dark. Ugh. You might like it, but only if you want to spend three hours being extremely confused.