Sunset Blvd. & iPod!

You know, with all my love for movies, and that I showed a Billy Wilder series back in college, why had I never seen Sunset Blvd.? Well, I fixed that gross oversight. I'm sorry, Bacchus, if you forgive me this, I will sacrifice 6 pigeons to appease you. Or maybe it should be Mercury based on the industry now...

See that's the sort of obscure reference I'm happy with even if no one ever gets that.

I also got my new old iPod today. It also may have been the last time I saw one of my former coworkers. I'm sad about that, but iPod! I've been missing you so much since it failed on the 5th. Almost four weeks without an iPod was insane. I had to read the paper! Argh! Actually, it wasn't that bad, but I did miss it terribly. I just need to work on not getting any more music or else I'll have to cut back again on what I can put on it. Or maybe I should have tried to see if I could trade in my iPod for a 60 gig one. Anyway, 3 cheers for Apple! ip-ip-iPod!

Senatus Pubulusque Romanus

Ok, well, after doing a little bit of research (thank god for Google and the TWOP forums), it seems that the ancient Egyptians were clean shaven down there, and that the Romans were also aware of how to shave and how to use various sugars or other substances to a way to shape the pubes. So it's possible that that's why they're fairly shaved. And there's the whole big thing about those strigils that were used to clean the oil off bodies to clean them, since they had no soap. That probably took a lot of hair off someone, even if that wasn't the original plan. And who's to say that women didn't get the same treatment? Maybe Romans were ahead of their time. Because I bet that few women in the Dark Ages were clean-shaven. Probably why they called it the Dark Ages.

I'm sure someone at the show thought of this already (I mean, it's not like they went to that much effort to get the rest of the show right and then miss the thing that would be focused on more than almost anything else in the show, right?), so maybe I'm putting too much thought into this. I guess the real test will be when they start on the full frontal male nudity. Unless they've all decided to go Jewish.

Sopranos season 4 & Rome 1.1

With HBO finally finished with the 4th season repeats, I can comment that the show never really lost it. I think the extended periods between production, my love for The Wire (the new season needs to come out soon, and I need to see the 3rd season so much), and the fact that I hadn't seen the show since college, I think I just sort of put it back behind a few other shows. We can all thank the Soprano clan for being responsible for the resurgence of HBO as a place for great original programming. Not that the Larry Sanders Show or Mr. Show weren't great, but they also put out a bunch of crap (Dream On?). Since the Sopranos, they've been putting out brilliant stuff almost without fail. I think I had this season spoiled for me, a little, as I knew what the end of season 4 was going to be, but I liked how it got there, and I didn't know about what most of the middle was going to be. Looking forward to the 5th season. Oh, wait, they're moving the 5th season repeats to the same time period as Gilmore Girls. Damnit all to hell. I get two weeks of season 5 goodness before I have to switch to Gilmore Girls. Really, damnit all.

I think part of the reason for the move was so that they could repeat the first episode of Rome before the second episode next week. As someone who will give almost anything HBO produces at least one try, I watched the first one. And the thing that bothers me about the show was that I am not sure about the whole women shaving their pubic hair thing. Now, I had a whole big rant about why pubes are not only unneccessary, but also annoying, on my last blog, but just accept that I'm anti-pubes. So, I have to say that I am surprised that apparently Roman women also don't like a lot of hair down there. There are a lot of other good things about the show, so I won't hold that against them. It's like watching a period piece and seeing obviously fake breasts. I'm anti-fake breasts as well. I'm pretty sure this whole silicone breasts thing started a little after, say, Rome stopped being the center of the universe. No matter how insane the Pope is, Rome hasn't been the center of the universe since around 476. And really, as a history buff, I'd even say that it wasn't the center of the universe after 330, when Constantine made Constantinople the capital of the Roman Empire. And that's ignoring the entire non-European world. I'll be Eurocentric for the purposes of this argument. I will continue to watch the show, as I like it.

Simpsons season 6, Undeclared, & Curb Your Enthusiasm season 2

I'm going to stick a bunch of TV stuff in one post, because I've been putting it off for a little while.

The Simpsons Season 6 was probably the last season where there were classic episodes all the way through. Well, that isn't entirely true, because there were some clunkers in this season (Fear of Flying, Bart vs. Australia, Homer vs. Patty & Selma, Lisa's Wedding, 'Round Springfield) and there were many classics in the 7th season (including my second favorite episode of all time Lisa the Vegetarian), but the quality clearly started to fall in season 6. And I really don't like the "special" packaging for the DVDs. Why couldn't they just stick with the old packaging? I know I can send off for the old version, but I'm really lazy.

Undeclared was one in a string of shows screwed by Fox. A looooong string of shows. They've pretty much only not screwed one good show in the last ten or so years, and that's Arrested Development. Yay for the third season coming up soon! Anyway, Undeclared was screwed over for Andy Richter Controls the Universe, which was screwed over in turn. It was never as good as Freaks and Geeks, but really, few shows ever came close to that show. I really wish that it had lasted longer than it did. More Seth Rogen is always appreciated. And now that I've seen it in the actual order (not the order it was shown on Fox or on the DVD (how could they screw that up, really?)), it actually works. And is hilarious. Very hilarious. I have this feeling I may not have actually seen all of these episodes, although I was pretty sure I had. Maybe the crazy scheduling kept me from watching them all. Anyway, I heartily recommend it, especially if you go online and get the corrected episode order.

Season 2 of Curb Your Enthusiasm was pretty funny. Not as sure about the main plot thread, which I didn't entirely care for, until the end payoff. That was hilarious. And Shaq was great. Made me almost forget Kazaam and Steel. And then I remembered them and laughed for about five minutes. Yay for Shaq being a terrible actor. It's a great show, and I am looking forward both to the next seasons coming to me as soon as possible.

The Terminal

The Terminal is typically "crowd-pleasing" Spielberg. With a healthy dose of missing-father-itis. Plus, it's really way too long. And I'd say it was unbelievable, but I want to be specific in that everything that happens to him except for being stuck there is unrealistic. Plus, the timeline really is confusing. Sigh. Spielberg... work on making better movies that don't drag on too long and aren't all about father issues. Yeah, that'll never happen.

Breaking Point & The Grudge

Breaking Point was Bo Arne Vibenius's follow up to Thriller (or They Call Her One Eye or a few different other things). More pornographic and with a worse narrative, it is amazingly more misogynistic. There's a reason why he pretty much never worked again. Terrible movie. And why did he need to have characters to say that 89% of women want to be raped? Just seems really wrong. Did someone just sample women who are in abusive relationships or something? Who did that survey? Seems like he pulled that number out of his ass as a way to make it less offensive that the main character rapes and kills his way through the movie. And why did he need to shoot at the cops? And why did the victim who fought back put her clothes back on before running away after stabbing him? Really, if you're being raped and you start fighting back, wouldn't you stab him more than once and wouldn't you then try to get away as soon as possible? Plus, I kept getting the feeling that the movie was just a figment of the guy's imagination. Or maybe it was because the movie was so disjointed, the dream sequence at the end, the male fantasy aspect of the entire movie, the various justifications for his actions, and of course, the fact that it was a Swedish film and it was dubbed in English. Poorly. However, it is actually a fairly well made movie, which makes it all the more disturbing. However, while I can argue that Thriller is an interesting film and should be seen, it's much harder to argue to see this movie, as the hardcore pornography is not limited to some insert shots, and is just less interesting. At least it's short.

The Grudge is strangely better than the original Japanese film. I didn't think that would happen. But the Hollywoodization makes it make a little more sense. Less really confusing plot points. I'm a little surprised by that. Although really, when the first movie made no sense at all and worked, to the extent it did, only due to visuals and the tone, just grafting a plot onto the mess would make it better. And they grafted a plot, kept the creepy visuals (even if they're mainly a rip-off of Ringu (just like the original Ju-On)), and made it a slightly better movie. Knowing exactly what was going to happen didn't change much. At some point I may have to watch the second one, although that will again probably be when it comes out on something where all I have to spend is my time.

8 Women, The Big Heat, & Sin City

8 Women was goofy, way too long, and bizarre. The only thing that kept me awake (just barely, and I don't really remember most of the middle) was the knowledge that I just had to wait a few seconds for one of the most beautiful women in French film to come on screen. But the movie just seemed like some ridiculous coincidence after another interspersed with an incongruous song and dance number. Strange movie. Some of the songs were actually good though. And the transitions from talking to song and back were so jerky I have to imagine that it was intentional.

The Big Heat had the famous coffee scene. Even knowing what was coming it was still pretty shocking. Too bad the makeup afterwards was obviously fake. You could clearly see the edges. One of the few hints that it was as low budget as it was. Otherwise Fritz Lang and whoever was production designer created a film noir based strongly in Lang's early German work. Yeah, the family scenes were so darn hokey they could have been in a sitcom from the era, but the beauty of the film is that it was completely intentional. It's also very anti-vengeance, with Glenn Ford's Dan Bannion destroying almost everyone who helps him, not caring about what happens to them. His single-minded pursuit of the "thieves" almost ruins his life, and he has to pull himself back from the brink of going too far. Lee Marvin is fantastic as the heavy, as he almost always is.

Sin City. If there ever was a movie that was all style and no substance, then this is the movie. But what style! I'd complain about how every woman is either a whore or a virgin or that it's really sadistic to every character. Or that it's completely unbelievable as anything other than a filmed male teenager's wet dream. The problem with the complaints is that the movie revels in the excess so much that you ignore the many, many problems and grimness and just accept them. I don't really care for Alexis Bledel in the movie. Everyone else seemed to fit in the film, except for her and her blue eyes. It's unfortunate. At least everyone else really seemed like they fit in, and Devon Aoki was given a perfect role for her: silent but deadly. Yep, she's a fart. I'm so immature.

Captain Blood

Captain Blood was swashbucklingly mediocre. It took way too long to get to the interesting part. But the interesting part was very enjoyable. And Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland were a dashing couple. Special effects were done by a small boy in a bathtub. But de Havilland definitely was attractive. Flynn was rough as hell, but showed clear talent.

Jamaica Inn

Jamaica Inn was boring. Which really surprised me, as a huge fan of Hitchcock. And it's not like he hadn't made classic films before or immediately after. It's like he was trying to get through the movie as quickly as possible, with as few characteristic Hitchcockian flourishes that might accidentally mean he had to spend more time watching Charles Laughton work broader than the Sahara Desert. Plus, what was up with Laughton's eyebrows? They looked really really fake. And Maureen O'Hara had little to do besides walk around in a wet dress thing for a few minutes and look stressed. Robert Newton should have stuck to being a pirate. All in all, just really disappointing for a Hitchcock. And I think that I got the movie confused with Under Capricorn for a really long time.

Sword of Doom, Beyond Borders, & Dave Chapelle: For What It's Worth

Sword of Doom was strange. I'm not sure what to think of that ending. Or the middle. It was different from what I was expecting. The beginning made some sense though. I... wow. Nakadai was crazy as hell. Twisted as well. I still get bothered when I see a crazy big samurai fight with guys attacking one at a time. I mean, really, just wait for him to stick his sword in someone and he can't get it out and then just go for him. It happened more than enough in the last fight. You're telling me no one would have done that rather than just attacking in order and getting sliced up? And I'm not happy with some of the loose threads. Well, actually, it seems like everything was a loose thread at the end. But still, I want to know what happened a little more. I think I know what happened, but I really don't want to have to read the original stories to figure out for sure.

Beyond Borders was liberal claptrap. Blech. And Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen couldn't save it. The only thing that made it interesting was the ending. Boo on landmines, but pretty unexpected for that to be the ending for a character like that? Are they trying to get people to stop helping? Or are they trying to show how terrible the situations are? Or could they just not come up with a good ending?

Dave Chapelle: For What It's Worth was funny. Not "I'm Rick James, Bitch" said by white frat guys funny, but a dying kitten impaled on a spork slowly bleeding to death is funnier than that. It was just pretty funny. Could have been a lot worse.

A Very Long Engagement & Garfield

A Very Long Engagement wasn't as good as Amelie. But considering how much I'm in love with everything about that movie, that isn't unexpected. I also thought it was a little too long, with a few too many of Jeunet's touches that distracted from the story. And it also seemed like there were character touches just to make them and the movie weirder. Of course, I'd have to read the book to figure out whether it's Jeunet's fault or the original novel. I am pretty damn sure that it's the book. The tuba playing just seemed too strange. I enjoyed the movie, but I think I thought it would have been better than it was.

Garfield was terrible. There were no redeeming aspects of the movie at all. Even with Bill Murray, Stephen Tobolowsky, and Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts. Do not see. If you do, do not pass go and go directly to jail. And I think that any good will I had for Peter Hewitt after Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey is completely gone.

Danger: Diabolik, Gates of Heaven, Porco Rosso, & My Favorite Wife

Danger: Diabolik was a stylish movie with nothing in it. Well, except for Marisa Mell in various attempts to not wear clothes but not show anything. It also suffers from one of the worst dub jobs I've ever seen. It's like they didn't even worry about the voices matching up. And the DVD didn't have the original Italian audio track so I wouldn't be distracted by that. I was, however, also distracted by the Body Movin' video, which takes a bunch of scenes from this movie and remixes them with the Beastie Boys. Which was featured on the DVD as well. It's very difficult to take the movie as anything more than pretty colors and a vague swipe at the establishment. Maybe you could argue that Diabolik's disdain for taxes and the government could have encouraged the May 1968 Paris riots. Then again, you'd be an idiot. Bava is an interesting, and talented director ($400,000 budget for a movie that looks much better than movies that cost a lot more?), but he never really got a good movie. Seems like he enjoyed making good genre films. Too bad he always seemed to go for style more than substance. Because if he spent a little more time on the substance, he could have made a brilliant film.

Gates of Heaven disappointed me in a way, because it wasn't nearly as polished as Errol Morris's later films. Probably because it's his first film and that he made it as a bet with Werner Herzog. Or maybe it's because people who would put their pets in a pet cemetary are people I probably will never truly understand. Then again, at least Morris doesn't mess with editing and music nearly as much as he does in Fast, Cheap, & Out of Control, which almost ruined that movie for me.

Porco Rosso is fairly typical Hayao Miyazaki, except with slightly less emphasis on the strong young women protagonist and pro-environment aspects that dominate most of his other films. However, there's still Fio, and lots of flying. And pigs. And anti-militarism and anti-establishment. So, really, toss the environmental aspects (which are limited to lots of scenery in the background) and it's a typical Miyazaki. I also want to say that I'm both extremely annoyed and happy with the ending. And as an optimist, I know how I think the ending went. As a Miyazaki film it feels a little less weighty than his masterpieces, but it's still much more impressive than almost any other non-Pixar animated film.

My Favorite Wife is the attempt to redo The Awful Truth. Not as good, though, and completely implausible. It's also weird to see Cary Grant and Randolph Scott in a movie together, considering their rumored relationship. I wonder what the movie would have been like had Leo McCarey not injured himself. I have a feeling that it would have been a little more subtle. Plus, they went out of their way to make it clear that Cary Grant had never slept with Bianca, even on their wedding night. Would have been much better if they left that alone, although the damn Hays Code wouldn't allow that. The bigamy jokes didn't get old either. But the movie was saved from being mediocre by the hilarious scene at the courtroom near the end. The judge was, by far, the best thing in the movie. Cary Grant was his typical self, but he wasn't as good as in other movies of the time.

Trashed books & Spartan

When I was sending off my Netflix, I saw a pile of books on the recycling container (that's on it, not in it, I don't go dumpster diving). One was Seymour Hersh's The Dark Side of Camelot. So when I slowly read through it, I'll let you know what I think of it. So far, I hate that he feels like he has to say that the interview was done "for this book" in the text. That doesn't matter. Just use footnotes or endnotes. Or just freakin' ignore it. Who cares? Not a reader who just wants to know how many women Kennedy boned in the White House. I'm through the first 30 pages or so, and it's apparently a lot.

I saw Spartan, which is classic Mamet. Although it seemed like there were only a few exchanges that had the typical stilted Mametisms. But it was improbably interesting. Kilmer was actually quite good, his first good role since Heat. And maybe his best role since Tombstone. Nice twisted plot, although none of it was as stupidly put together as a typical Hollywood thriller, making it seem much less like a twisty plot. I was pretty shocked at a few points, which was nice. All in all, I think it's about average Mamet, which means good.

Dogtown and Z-Boys, Bulletproof Monk, & The Perfect Score

Dogtown and Z-Boys was pretty impressive, although it suffers from being too in love with camera and editing tricks (why did we need Sean Penn coughing?). But it tells a great story. And it tells it well. The dropping of cursing for the PG-13 was somewhat distracting, especially when one guy said "The word that can only be mentioned once and only in a non-sexual manner" three times in around 10 seconds. But the soundtrack was pretty darn good.

Bulletproof Monk was actually a lot more fun than I was expecting. Still a terrible movie that had no idea how to film a fight scene so that people could figure out what's going on, but Nazis are great villains. Not as sure about James King needing a bad girl to fight, as it just seems to suggest that they didn't want to have a man beating on her. It's not like they were going to be as misogynistic as T3 was, but there always seems to be that one bad girl for the good girl to fight. At least Chow Yun-Fat has work.

The Perfect Score was worth it for two reasons. Well, it was somewhat worth watching for two reasons: Scarlett Johansson and Leonardo Nam. And mainly Nam, who completely carried the movie. Scarlett was there for the eye candy. Leonardo was great. Hilarious, dirty, and almost worth watching the rest of this crappy movie for. Unfortunately, it's almost, because it's all about how the six of them "learn" and "grow". Which is dumb. Plus, the soundtrack sucked. And the two white guys were bland, and Darius Miles can't act any better than Ray Allen. Or Penny Hardaway.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban & Swimming with Sharks

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was suprisingly really good. I'm not sure whether I was just expecting suck or what, but I was really happy with it. Maybe it had a little something to do with me being a sucker for a good time-travel joke. Maybe it was the fact that a major problem with Chamber of Secrets was fixed in this one, with Hermione (who's getting more attractive...) instead of Ron at the end. But I think it's mainly due to two things: Alfonso Cuarón and the decision to film it in more actual locations rather than in a studio. Cuarón's touch is clear with the more realistic CGI and the darker tone. I'm surprised that it didn't get a PG-13. I think that Radcliffe may need a few more acting lessons, but at least everyone else was pretty good. Well, except for Draco Malfoy, who is still annoying as hell. But there may not be any more of Potter's muggle family. Not a bad thing. None of the films seemed to get remotely interesting until they start to go to Hogwarts. I did notice immediately that Richard Harris had been replaced by Michael Gambon. Obvious, but some of it was because I'm so familiar with Gambon's face. We need more Alan Rickman. More more more. At least Gary Oldman will return, with more of a part. And damn it all to hell, but I am actually somewhat interested in seeing the 4th one. When does the 7th book come out? Based on my extremely complicated computations, I figure sometime in 2007.

Swimming with Sharks had an outstanding performance from Kevin Spacey. Completely outstanding. Frank Whaley paled in comparison. And it had Miranda Freakin' Zero in it. I don't think that I'll ever get over her in that role. So damn cool. But [SPOILER] how could he freakin' kill Miranda Freakin' Zero? The ending sort of felt like a cop-out, the only way for a somewhat happy ending after that kind of torture, but the scenes with Buddy mentally torturing Guy were great. What the hell happened to Spacey? He hasn't done anything remotely interesting since 1999.

Magnificent Obsession & Cry-Baby

Magnificent Obsession is everything that Douglas Sirk's melodramatic masterpieces are, without any of the positives. His next film, All That Heaven Allows shows that he quickly figured out what was wrong with it, but this just seems like a mess. Plus, the daughter was hot and wasn't nearly as fun as the daughter in All That Heaven Allows. I think it's the flashbacks and voiceovers that hurt Mag Obs so much. I also think that it's a little too much for the whole happy ending. I mean, the only way it could have been more happy is if the doctor was resurrected after Rock Hudson was crucified somehow, and it became this terrible Christ parable, rather than just a terrible Christian message movie. Plus, it wasn't nearly as fun with colors as All That Heaven Allows.

Cry-Baby is a mix between the cheesy John Waters and the dirty one. The movie itself was trash, but that was intentional, and the music was actually fairly good, although I would have gone for the Squares for everything except the last song. The Drapes just were a little too Rockabilly for me. I think that Waters was just trying to get a normal film. I can't really be entirely positive about a movie with it's love of the Confederate flag, even if it was there for the kitsch value. It did have Iggy Pop washing himself in a tub in the front yard of a trailer trash house ("Woo-Wee, you caught me in my birthday suit! Buck naked!"), Traci Lords in a non-porn role (too bad almost all her porn is illegal in the US, because she's attractive), Johnny Depp in his "I'm too hot to have to act, but I'll do it anyway" stage, Willem Dafoe in a funny cameo (just love that prayer), a foreign exchange student who only says "ya", and Amy Locane who is there for window dressing. The dubbing is sometimes obvious, and other times it's blatantly obvious, but the love with which the movie is made (and almost every Waters film is made with that love, even if that's all it has going for it) help to smooth over some of the rough edges. It's better than his early trash films, but not as good as his best.

Kagemusha & Larry Sanders Show

Kagemusha was a little long, but typically epic film from Kurosawa. It also felt a little too much like Ran. But not nearly as good. Lots of bright colors and pretty good battle scenes. And no one would have the balls to film a battle scene quite like the two big ones in this movie. Pretty darn impressive. Generally good acting, although I can't judge acting in foreign languages quite as well as in English. But I can judge directing, and I'm pretty sure that Kurosawa is my second favorite director after Hitchcock, if for nothing other than their almost unbroken streak of amazing films over decades. Making them better than Howard Hawks (who made some not that impressive films), Wong Kar-Wai & Quentin Tarantino (haven't worked long enough), John Sayles (hurt by some of the movies he's only written rather than directed), and Robert Altman (some utter clunkers). Among some others I can't quite think of right now. Maybe like Hayao Miyazaki, Preston Sturges, and Ernst Lubitsch, none of whom really worked in a genre or type of film I'm entirely capable of raising to the top. Plus, Preston and Ernst made some non-pantheon films. Hayao needs to keep making movies. Maybe after four of five more classics, then I'll be happy and he'll be up there.

I am pretty sure I've seen almost all of the first season of the Larry Sanders Show. I wish I knew when. I think there was one episode I wasn't sure I'd seen before. At least I got to see Jeremy Piven's hairy butt again. Wait, that isn't a good thing. Damn you, Shandling! Oh, but I did get to see Hank's dog story which was so funny. Yay for bestiality. Wait, that isn't a good thing. But oh, so funny!

Bad CGI, Home of the Brave, & Oleanna

I forgot to mention something about the problem with the Harry Potter movies: the terrible CGI. I can't tell whether it's intentionally obviously bad or whether they just suck at it. Considering how good the CGI was in The Two Towers, you'd think they could do better.

Home of the Brave was depressing as hell. Still so many damn racists out there. And the FBI was embarrassingly racist. Man, if it weren't for RFK, JFK, and LBJ, there'd still be cases popping up of FBI agents involved in killing various people who don't actively hate black people. Jesus. What a terrible person J. Edgar was. Too bad he's responsible for Watergate breaking.

Oleanna has a terrible performance from Debra Eisenstadt. Way too Mamet. I think that it would have been better with Rebecca Pidgeon. She'd at least have been distracting for her being married to Mamet as opposed to being distracting for being terrible. Macy, on the other hand, was great. In a two person play, though, when one is terrible and the other is great, you end up with a mediocre at best movie. Plus, Mamet really is just playing with words the entire movie. Possibly the worst screenplay he's directed himself. Considering I really like almost everything he's done, even some of his script doctoring (especially Ronin, my personal favorite car chase movie, and the best MacGuffin in a non-Hitchcock film), that isn't saying as much as just my utter disappointment in its blandness. Not that the movie doesn't have it's good parts, but I really couldn't stand anything about Carol. I think Mamet was just messing with his wife.

The Stepford Wives & Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

The Stepford Wives was terrible. I don't think there was one redeeming thing in it. Not one. Christopher Walken and Glenn Close, two very talented actors, were very wasted in it. And not wasted in the good way that can sometimes make for enjoyable aspects. No, this was a mess, pure and simple. Waste of film. About the only good thing to say about it was that it was fairly short.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, on the other hand, was long. Plus, there were too many cheesy bits. And Chris Columbus wouldn't know a good director if s/he beat all the crappy movies out of him. Which would take a long time. A very long time. Longer than the movie. Anyway, as to the actual movie, it allowed itself to work much more effectively than the last one, ignoring most of the boring, but necessary, exposition that comes in the first film of a series. Plus, the triumvirate are getting more comfortable in their roles. Not sure about leaving Ron Weasley unpetrified and making Hermione stone. Ron still is an annoying person. Hermione at least seems less of a caricature. I saw the Riddle/Voldemort thing coming a mile away. I mean, with a name like Marvolo? Of course he's evil, and it's only a little stretch to start with the anagrams. I have a feeling that a lot of my complaints about characterization and the like would be fixed in the books. Makes me more interested in reading them. But I'm not going to bother until the 7th comes out and then I'll borrow them from a friend. It's not like every single person in the District I know hasn't already read them.

It's a good thing I didn't name my iPod or I'd really be in mourning now

On the Beach was so melodramatic. And really, do we need to know what happens after a nuclear war? And why is this movie so damn earnest? It also wasn't full of much good acting. Or anything that would recommend it. Man, at some point, I just added things to my Netflix queue just because. Must've been back when I only had a couple hundred in it.

I also watched the first disc of the Larry Sanders Show season 1. I think I'd actually seen a couple of those before. Were they replayed on Comedy Central late at night or something? Or did I watch them at college? I can't quite remember. Weird to see Janeane Garofalo dumpy. I do have to say that the Garden Weasel ads were the highlight of the disc.

Alice Adams was only worth keeping around for Katherine Hepburn. Every other character, with the exception of Fred MacMurray, was terrible. And if Hattie McDaniel's performance was what created the Best Supporting Actor/Actress category, then I wonder what the hell Pauly Shore's career created? Besides giving a few other people jobs, like Tia Carrere and Kylie Minogue and Brendan Fraser and Stephen Baldwin and Carla Gugino and Jack Black and Stanley Tucci and Joey Lauren Adams and Lori Petty. Sadly, I knew all of those off the top of my head. I think I should go find Pauly Shore and hit him. If only I could blame him for my watching those movies. Damnit.

Before I get to the next movies, I had my iPod's hard drive stop working on Thursday. So I went to two different Apple Stores this weekend to see if they could fix it. In short, I will have a new iPod in about two weeks. Damnit. I have to interact with things on the WMATA.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action is one of the movies I watched only because I was in front of my computer reinstalling and uninstalling things. Wow. So damn terrible. Only thing keeping it from being a total waste was that it wasn't nearly as bad as Space Jam. Somehow.

First Daughter. Well, my iPod still wasn't working. Plus, I like Forest Whitaker. And Marc Blucas was Riley, so I can always mock him for that. Terrible. Utterly worthless. Well, it was directed competently.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines needed something. Oh, like a script that was good and a good director and a new thing. I'm in the minority in thinking the 2nd one wasn't needed at all, and the only good thing that it did was the CGI work and advances in that field. The 3rd one was completely stupid. I don't even remember any of the character's names except the ones from earlier films, and I only remember Arnold, Claire Danes, and Kristina Lokken (I think that's how you spell it) as actors in it. Boring, and that's terrible for a movie that was basically two hours of a chase scene and constant action. I didn't care. I did wish that Arnold had gone bad, but that wasn't going to happen with his stupid "I can't be a bad guy" rule. He was so much better when he wasn't a big pussy.

New York Minute. Well, it was on when I was dealing with computer stuff. I made it through almost the entire thing before I actually started paying attention and hated myself and the talented people in it. Andy Richter... Eugene Levy... Darrell Hammond... Jared Padalecki... Heh, just kidding on that last one. Wow, that movie sucked donkey balls. Big fat hairy donkey balls. I bet I could go on the Internets and find pictures of the Olsen Twins actually sucking actual donkey balls. That would probably be more enjoyable than this piece of crap movie.

The Singing Detective & Ride the High Country

As a huge fan of the miniseries, I had low expectations for the Robert Downey, Jr. version of The Singing Detective. They were met. At least it wasn't a really long movie. The cuts in plot from the six hour miniseries to the under two hour long movie were just weak. Plus, the musical interludes were just too much, overshadowing it. Too much noise, too many camera movements, too much there. It was also messy as hell. And having Mel Gibson in it was disturbing. All in all, had it been an original movie, I probably wouldn't have been disappointed. Might even have liked it. But knowing how good it could have been was what sunk it.

Ride the High Country, Peckinpah's second western feature, is a fairly good, but somewhat bland western. That is, until the Hammond brothers show up again, and the shout-outs begin. Then it gets back to the Peckinpah I like. Joel McCrea and Randolph Scott were great. It's just that it takes way too long to get to the good part. The incest themes dominate most of the early parts, and that's a little weird, although it was after the Hays code had been effectively neutered.