Sex & Fury, Female Yakuza Tale, & PTU: Into the Perilous Night

Sex & Fury and Female Yakuza Tale are the last two pinky violence movies I plan on seeing for a while. There's just so much naked Japanese women I can take. I never, ever, though I would say that, but, yep, there is a limit. Sex & Fury actually has non-Asian characters in it, speaking their native languages, which is a nice bonus. And one of them is Christina Lindberg, of Thriller (or They Call Her One Eye), providing some naked non-Asian for those of you so inclined. Apparently, she's an English spy and they were trying to start a new Opium war in Japan (this was set in the early 1900s), and our hero Ochô gets involved. She's a pickpocket and a gambler (in one of the worst gambling scenes of all time, making five card draw look boring as hell) and needs to revenge her father's death. Basically, the most impressive thing in it was the naked fight scene after Ochô gets surprised in the bath. Impressive camera work not to show her pubic hair. Female Yakuza Tale picks up the story of Ochô a little later, when she gets involved with some yakuza gamblers and a plot to steal from some yakuza by replacing real drugs with fake drugs. Oh, did I mention that the opening credits to it were another naked fight scene with Ochô, although less skillfully edited to not show her pubes? And that the drugs were smuggled by a group of women in their vaginas, which had to be measured to see how much each could carry? And that most of the film had naked women in it? Including a huge naked fight scene at the end where all the women got naked for no apparent reason? Sex & Fury was actually sort of good, but Female Yakuza Tale just had a couple neat scenes (I mocked the naked credit sequence, but it was probably the best scene in the film) and many, many too many naked women.

PTU: Into the Perilous Night is Johnny To's story of what happens when a Hong Kong policeman's gun goes missing, and the PTU has to go find it in one night. It's not nearly as good as either Election or Exiled, let alone Breaking News, but it's not terrible. Apparently, after my pinky violence kick, I went on a Johnny To kick, so look for reviews of more of those coming up whenever I get time to watch them.

What's taking time is Rock Band 2 (OMG, you guys, totes awesome!), Little Big Planet (Sackboy is adorable!), and, um, Ms. Albright. I don't regret any of those.

Love on the Run, Reno 911!: Miami, For Y'ur Height Only, Challenge of the Tiger, Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess, & Factory Girl

Love on the Run is the last of the Antoine Doinel films, and as such it spends most of its time looking back at earlier ones through flashbacks. Not too many to Bed and Board, and there are a couple references to Day for Night (still my favorite Truffaut film), but I thought overall it was only of use to people who really liked the earlier Doinel films. It was a nice little bit of a nostalgia trip for me, but nowhere near as good as others. Oh, and the Netflix description is not really right, as it's about his divorce from Christine, they're not really struggling with his infidelity, they've come to grips with it and decided to divorce.

Reno 911!: Miami has convinced me that I just don't like Reno 911!. I have tried many times, but I just don't like it very much. Fitfully funny (as is the show), but overall not enough to keep my interest riveted. I'm not going to object if it's on TV and I'm there (unless I've already seen the episode), but it's not nearly as good as other State alumni work.

For Y'ur Height Only is the Filipino film that starts a little person named Weng Weng as the suavest spy since James Bond. And he beds normal sized women throughout the film, sometimes bizarrely. I mean, the entire movie is one long bizarre spy riff. And stupid. Basically, it's a terrible terrible film that is only of interest now because the star is a little person. As such, it's watchable. Especially if you like watching people get hit and kicked in the nards. Because this film is full of it.

Challenge of the Tiger is the second movie on the same DVD, so I watched it. I'm glad I did. It stars one of the many Bruce Lee knockoffs (named Bruce Le) and he's a member of the CIA (maybe, it wasn't really clear, but I think he was) along with Richard Harrison (who starred in a bunch of movies with Ninja in the title, along with one of Joe D'Amato's porn-ish movies I haven't seen, Orgasmo Nero). Oh, and Richard Harrison's name is Richard Cannon (see, it can be shortened as Dick Cannon! FUNNY!). Anyway, the movie starts out by introducing Richard by having him drive into a palatial estate and be greeted by two topless women who proceed to play topless tennis with the woman in the car with him. And then there's a scene where one of the girls drinks water from one of those pissing boy statues and is then called a dirty girl. Yeah. The plot is about a formula that can sterilize all men. This is clearly a problem for Richard who seems to have sex with all women in the film, while Bruce is a typical eunuch that most Asian men are in Western films. Unless they're there to threaten the white women.

Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess interestingly also has a scene where someone drinks out of a pissing boy statue. In this case it's supposed to be funny, though. Anyway, this is another pinky violence film, and it's actually not full of gratuitous nudity (apparently, the director tried to limit that, and I salute him), and is the last in a series of four films, none of which are supposed to be worth watching besides this one. Five delinquent girls eventually band together to fight the yakuza who are trying to kill the father of one of them. Typical revenge film, but the final scene is of them in red trenchcoats with black armbands. Visually striking and awesome. They strip down to black hotpants and white bandages over their breasts to slaughter the yakuza. There's also a scene where a guy is stabbed in the stomach over a glass floor and bleeds out over it. Very nice. Definitely the strongest of the pinky violence films I've seen recently.

Factory Girl is crap. Many better films about Andy Warhol, and the factual inaccuracies (according to wikipedia and the people involved who are still alive) just grated on me. Along with the very shallowness of it all. If you're going to be making a film about someone who's potentially as interesting as Edie Sedgwick (I assume she is, since you really don't get it from this film), make the film interesting. Woo, Siena Miller's naked. That's the only thing this has going for it. I mean, you can't even use Bob Dylan as a character because he'd sue due to it being made up? What a surprise the film sort of sucked. Just avoid.

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists at Black Cat 10/8 and Of Montreal at 9:30 10/9

Man, am I ever happy that these two shows were back to back. Otherwise, I'd be extremely pissed at Ted Leo. And I love Ted Leo. It's gonna take multiple listens to get into the new album, as it's just more punky than I like. And the crowd... Man, I hate people under the age of 21 at punk shows. And they stink. The fat dude in front of me was not only taking up the space of about four people (literally, he actually was taking up the space for four people by the end of Ted Leo's set), he also smelled worse than almost anyone I've ever smelled. When the ass stood in front of me with a couple songs left in Ted's set, I wasn't actually that upset, because it gave me a buffer between his sweat glands and my nose.

On to the actual music: Future of the Left sucked. I really didn't like it at all, it was mainly noise. I spent most of the set looking at the Against Me! merchandise and wondering what was the true opposite of Against Me!: was it For Me! or For You!? The former is the opposite of the meaning, but the latter is the opposite of the actual words. This is deep, man. We didn't stick around for Against Me! due to us wanting to get the hell out of there. I imagine it would have answered some questions. Ted himself started the set by saying that he'd be playing a bunch of new songs, and he ended up playing about half completely awesome songs (Army Bound, Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?, Me & Mia, and the like) and half new songs, none of which really stuck out in my mind. I've seen him now four times, and this is the second time it wasn't a full set (after the Operation Ceasefire show), but this is the first time I've not actively enjoyed the show. Basically little went well. The food beforehand at Rice (which we had before the Destroyer show in April) was kinda disappointing, as the ginger tempura wasn't as good, although the Tom Yum Goong was quite good.

The next night, however, we had a better plan. Starting with Peruvian chicken, some other mental refreshments, and off to the show to make sure to see the opener. Love Is All is Swedish pop. Which I had heard of, but I was going to see Of Montreal, so I didn't know that they were opening on this tour. But I'm always up for Scandinavian pop, and this brand of dance pop was a lot of fun. When they introduced a song as by one of the saxophonists' favorite bands, and they started into the drums of I Ran, I got a little bit of a charge. Just a fun opener, and a great way to get everyone excited for the headliners. Getting there early had allowed us to get my favorite area, on the edge of the balcony, so you can see basically the entire stage, important for this show. And the show was insane and awesome. I really can't recommend seeing them enough. And since so many other people have written about the show (let alone the ability to listen to the show), I feel like writing more is a little bit of overkill. If you follow one link, follow the "about the show" one, as it has many pictures. I will say that Kevin Barnes was not naked during the show (unlike the show in Vegas in 2007), but the show was probably the gayest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen gay porn. Apparently, it's not supposed to be straight-up queer, but it's kind of hard to miss that when he's singing about sucking dick. And yep, that interview does prove I was right, MBG.

Setlist from NPR:
Id Engager
So Begins Our Alabee
Triphallus, To Punctuate!
She's a Rejecter
For Our Elegant Caste
Touched Something's Hollow
An Eluardian Instance
Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse
Gallery Piece
Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)
Women's Studies Victims
St. Exquisite's Confessions
Eros' Entropic Tundra
Nonpareil of Favor
October is Eternal
Wicked Wisdom
Disconnect the Dots
Knight Rider
And I've Seen a Bloody Shadow
Plastis Wafers
Beware Our Nubile Miscreants
Mingusings
A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger
----------------------------------
Gronlandic Edit
Requiem For O.M.M.2

All throughout the next day I had Of Montreal songs stuck in my head, but none more than "A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger". I would have been miserable at attempting to write up a setlist, as I could have sworn they played songs multiple times. Which of course, they didn't, but I still loved it. Also, Chris Cooley was sitting not ten feet from where I was standing. He hasn't written it up on his blog yet, though.

EDIT: I came out of the show and found MBG and said, "I think I'm gay for Kevin Barnes." I doubt I'm the only one.

The Bridge, Iron Man, Funeral in Berlin, & Billion Dollar Brain

The Bridge is a documentary about a year in the life of the Golden Gate Bridge. Focusing mainly on the 24 suicides that occurred during that year. The director actually filmed 23 of them. It's insane to watch people jump to their deaths. There were also stories of two attempted suicides, one woman was stopped by a photographer who started to take pictures of her as she climbed over and eventually dragged her back over the railing, and one guy who jumped and broke a lot of bones in the fall but survived. There are interviews with many family members, and it's kinda rough to watch all the people try to make sense of people killing themselves. It's painful.

Iron Man is crazy fun. Considerably better than say, almost every other superhero film. It's much lighter than The Dark Knight, and Robert Downey, Jr. basically pulled a Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribbean. He's been awesome for a long time, but it finally gets him huge, huge, huge movie star buzz. I feel like I am a poser, because I geeked out when Agent Coulson showed up and introduced himself as an agent of "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Engagement and Logistics Division", due to its obvious abbreviation as SHIELD. And of course, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. Definitely enjoyable, and recommended to anyone who has no problem believing a man could fly. Especially one that isn't as stupid as Superman.

Funeral in Berlin is the second in the Harry Palmer series of British spy films based on Len Deighton's novels after The Ipcress File, which I saw some years ago. For a long time, Funeral in Berlin wasn't available on Netflix, which contributed to my inability to watch it. This is actually slightly better, a real spy story, and Michael Caine is very comfortable in the role. It's basically a more realistic James Bond, about trying to secure a defection of a Soviet colonel. I really wasn't expecting it to also include bits including the Mossad and Nazi war criminals. The bureaucratic references were expected.

Billion Dollar Brain is the last Harry Palmer movie with Michael Caine made in the 60s, and therefore the last one I plan on watching. He made one in the mid-90s but it wasn't based on a Len Deighton novel. This one is about a clearly fascist (his logo is extremely similar to a swastika) Texas oilman who has a messiah complex and a huge computer that is going to tell him how to foment revolt in Latvia and take down the Soviet Union. It's not nearly as strong, as it is kinda ridiculous. Too James Bond-y, but not Connery, it's more Moore. Definitely a disappointment after the first two strong ones in the series.

If...., Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom, Criminal Woman: Killing Melody, & The Yakuza

If.... is Malcolm McDowell's first film, as an angry student who joins a couple others who revolt against their oppressive teachers, parents, and the prefects. Or whatever they're called. A lot of the early scenes reminded me of Harry Potter. Mainly because they're both very British versions of a boarding school. Of course, this one includes full-frontal female nudity (apparently the full-frontal male nudity was cut to allow for the extended female nudity), so it doesn't quite fit with Harry Potter's intended audience. I mean, massacres, beatings, nudity, drinking, and the like are only hinted at in most of Harry Potter.

Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom is an interesting counterpoint to If.... as it's also about a group of kids rebelling against an oppressive school regime, although this is only about the rebelling, there's little about any deeper meanings. As a Pinky Violence film, there is a crazy amount of S&M and nudity. In fact, it's a little much. I think I can't watch too many more S&M films. I find them extremely discomforting. And the obvious relish with which the scenes are filmed doesn't help. And is there something about the Japanese and peeing? There's another scene of a woman wetting herself (at least it's not a woman peeing on the head of another one). Seriously, it's not the first, and I doubt it'll be the last. It's never really funny.

Criminal Woman: Killing Melody is another Pinky Violence film, this one about a group of Yakuza who kill the father of a woman. She, of course, needs to revenge herself on the yakuza. Here's a conversation with the newly christened Sally Albright, a reference to a certain character from one of my favorite romantic comedies of all time.
me: I'm watching a crazy japanese film
Sally Albright: another Japanese school girl sexploitation murder mayhem movie?
me: not school girl this time, they've all spent time in prison
me: they are however righting wrongs that yakuza perpetrated upon one of their fathers
me: with lots of sex and violence
Sally Albright: It's good to know that they're using their deadly sexy powers for good.
Sally Albright: .. sorry for using good twice in one sentence
Sally Albright: that was terrible
me: well, they're women, and that's what you use your bodies for, right?
me: having sex for money to buy guns to start a gang war to kill the people who killed your father?
Sally Albright: It varies a bit based on each individual's situation, but that's the gist of it
me: well, it explains why misogyny is so popular
Sally Albright: Well, if misogyny were so wrong, God would have put a stop to it by now.
me: I thought you were going to say if misogyny is so wrong, I don't want to be right
Sally Albright: I should have.
Sally Albright: I'm just a little off tonight. What with the good-good and missing such a great opportunity
me: this one is actually more trashy than I expected
me: insane amounts of nudity
me: still it's japanese nudity though, so just t&a, even though it's basically naked woman-gunfight-naked woman-knee to the groin-naked woman-killing all movie
me: oh, that was a gun barrel to a breast
me: chainsaw to a mannequin's breasts...
me: well, this is decidedly more lurid than I was expecting
Sally Albright: sounds delightful
Sally Albright: a nice, light Tuesday night flick
me: well, I like to relax
me: cigarette to the breast
me: and now to the other one..
me: this is actually making me feel uncomfortable
Sally Albright: really? that's impressive considering how much of that type of movie you seem to be watching these days
me: she better cut off a dick with that razor
Unfortunately, she didn't cut off a dick with the razor. Just ended up using the men and shooting people, and then fighting another woman at the end and wasting lots of drugs.

The Yakuza is Orientalism for dummies. Or maybe I'm just too familiar with Yakuza and Japanese tropes. It's directed by Sydney Pollack from a script by Paul Schrader and Robert Towne, and it stars Robert Mitchum, so there's a lot of talent involved, but I just thought it was a mediocre Yakuza film. I guess I'm just too familiar with how it was going to end. There were some issues, like why the hell would the police not come when Mitchum stabbed a dude in a public bath? No one cares about that? I'm probably grading it too harshly, but while I liked bits and pieces of it, it's just bits and pieces.