Grizzly Man & Bad News Bears

In Grizzly Man, Werner Herzog has found another crazy man to make a movie about. Typical Herzog. I did laugh when he said that he was familiar with insane actors and directors though. Because he worked with Klaus Kinski and Herzog himself is an insane man. The movie itself clearly fits well in his filmography with Fitzcarraldo (I still haven't seen it, but I know what it's about) and Aguirre. As for Tim Treadwell, well, he got exactly what was coming to him. What a sad story. Clearly at least somewhat mentally disturbed, and he probably was not the best person to spend lots of time alone in nature. I think that tends to lead to more insanity than if you were alone in the city. Because at least you're around people who will stop some of your more insane leanings. But man, Treadwell was just bat-guano insane. Fascinating movie though.

Bad News Bears was enjoyable, but I think I miss the worse cursing from the original. Stupid PG-13. PG back in the day was so much better. There could even be nudity in it. Stupid nanny police. Eh. It's an acceptable way to spend the running time, but it certainly isn't going to be remembered by me for being anything other than an unnecessary remake.

2046 (& 100th post)

2046 is quite possibly, the most depressing movie I've ever seen. Depressing in a way that is painful to anyone who has ever been in love (especially if it isn't entirely reciprocated). Or, alternately, you could take it as a non-definite sequel to In the Mood for Love, and it becomes much less depressing. However, as the direct sequel, and finishing off the trilogy including Days of Being Wild, it is typically brilliant Wong Kar-Wai about the nature of love and heartbreak. And no one can make a perfect shot like him. This one has the scenes in the cab of Tony Leung sitting either with a leading lady or alone. The final scene... well, if it were physically possible to have made me even more depressed than the scene right before... he did it. Plus, he actually gives Zhang Ziyi her best role yet, as she is, in my opinion, the Best Thing in a movie full of Best Things. Every female cast member has scenes that are outstanding, from Gong Li's reaction to the kiss to Faye Wong's dance steps while learning Japanese (and her smoking a cigarette...) to Carina Lau's smiling android, but Zhang is outstanding, especially in that second to last scene. With all of that said, and way too little time spent with Maggie Cheung, whose character's shadow dominates every nook and cranny within the film, how can people not agree that Tony Leung is one of the best actors ever? Because he is. Without a doubt.

The look of the movie is not quite as stylish as his other works, and the CGI was typically terrible as pretty much every non-American CGI production is. It's fine when it's in a cartoon (Miyazaki's use of CGI is almost imperceptible and in Kung Fu Hustle it was basically a live-action cartoon), but it was distracting here. That complaint being said, it's still visually stunning, but it doesn't scream "LOOK AT ME!!!!!!" like his messing with film grains and slow-motion and colors have in the past. Which just means that he's maturing as a filmmaker, but I missed his more overt style occasionally. And then he'd bring out those high heels on the train that lit up while the androids walked in straight lines and I'd forget about everything. As much as I prefer that women wear comfortable shoes rather than torture themselves for my pleasure... I certainly see the attraction to high heels. Or maybe it was just the high heels and cheongsams. Yeah, it was probably just that. Zhang Ziyi in high heels and cheongsams...

Oh, yes, back to the movie...

In reading a lot of reviews of the movie, which, I feel, is entirely necessary after one viewing, I did not see one that went farther than just mentioning using 2046 and 2047 as their clear origins as the years surrounding the end of the 50 year period of nominal independence of Hong Kong. This would clearly be an interesting thing to study in the context of a man who has fallen in love with one woman but has to leave and then cannot function as a human being afterwards. What that has to do with a hooker who'd go straight for the man and a gambler who wears one black glove, I'm not entirely sure. I'll have to think a little bit more about that before discovering the relevance. Or at least being able to explain said relevance with any type of accuracy. I'm not even touching upon the fact that 2046 is the place where people go to recall lost memories, and that no one has ever returned from there. At least in the context of Hong Kong, as it's pretty damn clear that Tony Leung has never returned from his lost memories of Maggie Cheung. Which, I have to say, I would probably agree with, except that it is Zhang Ziyi in a cheongsam throwing herself at me...

Anyway, the entire problem with this movie is simple. All I want to do is watch it again and again in order to get everything out of it. Like I've done with his other movies, rewatching 2046 will bring out more and more things I want to discuss. Of course, my problem with rewatching it is that it just makes me think of my unfortunate timing in meeting women.

Goodbye, Dragon Inn & The Skywalk Is Gone

Goodbye, Dragon Inn was pretty typical Ming-liang Tsai, with lots of long non-moving shots. However, for an added bonus, I also got to see my parents' bored reactions. Which was fun. Because this was 80 minutes of very little happening. I had to read reviews to keep from just giggling uncontrollably at how it was not going to make anyone who doesn't already love movies or spends too much time in movie theaters bored out of their minds. So I can see why people would hate it. I, however, did not hate it, and enjoyed almost every part. The little bits of observational humor were funny, and my only real complaint is that he pushed the viewer a little too much. While he could have done everything in the movie in about 10 minutes, he kept some scenes going way too long. And that's from someone who enjoyed the movie. My dad didn't even make it to the first lines of dialogue halfway through. Definitely a movie that rewards multitasking. Focusing too much on it might actually cause you to hate it.

The Skywalk Is Gone is apparently an epilogue to Tsai's earlier film, What Time Is It There? which I haven't seen. However, I do intend to see it at some point, and the Wayward Cloud (his followup to those two), so I felt I should see it rather than be forced to rent it again after seeing the other one. So I felt a little strange as I didn't have the full background to get at it. But it works, somewhat, as I knew the basic plot of the original, but I have a feeling that I need to see the two full-length films to make a real judgment about this. So, for now, I have to say that it was interesting, but not that interesting.

The Phantom of the Opera

The Phantom of the Opera was crap. I'm not sure whether it was just that the songs get on my nerves or what, but I didn't enjoy anything. Emmy Rossum clearly is very talented, but the overproduction of the music that is inherent in any Andrew Lloyd Webber musical hides her voice in too many effects. Too bombastic. The fault goes to two people: ALW (who sucks) and Joel Schumacher who never met a movie he couldn't make into a mess. Plus, it's godawful long. So long that it causes me pain. I can't believe I sat through it on the stage. At least I didn't have to see stupid CGI effects on stage. The more I hear the score of any ALW musical, the more I'm convinced that only unmusical people like his crap. The only musical of his that I like is Joseph, which has the benefit of being both his first and shortest. Plus, it has Tim Rice's lyrics, so it's not entirely ALW. But man, this movie just really sucks. And Raoul is just a poor man's Ewan McGregor. I'm also pretty sure everyone is lipsynching. Couldn't they at least have tried a little harder? Too many edits as well.

Things Change, Closer, & Steamboy

Things Change was typical Mamet, although much fluffier than his typical twisting tales. Not that there aren't enough twists in this for another movie, but it's a light movie. With Don Ameche being very enjoyable. And Ricky Jay telling a story in such a way that would only be told in a Mamet movie. I really enjoyed it, but that could just have been because I love the way that Mamet uses words and repetition.

Closer is depressing. I'd like to think that love isn't anything like that. I'd like to. Clive Owen and Natalie Portman were much better than Jude Law and Julia Roberts. Much better. I can appreciate a movie like this, but I can't say I like any of the characters much. Except for Natalie, but that's probably just because she's nowhere near as evil as the rest of them. Maybe Julia wasn't as evil as either of the two guys, but she's Julia, so she loses points for that.

Steamboy looked good, but made little to no sense. I'd really prefer that anime made more sense, because they have so many opportunities to make great stories, but this was just mumbo-jumbo about not using science to destroy. Steampunk is fun as an idea, but I don't think it's really been done effectively by anyone. At least not off the top of my head. Well, H.G. Wells and Jules Verne both did some interesting things that could be considered steampunk, but few others. The entire end of the movie was just one big long never ending action scene. Which could have lost at least 20 minutes and everyone would have gotten the same idea. Beh. Why must anime never make sense unless Studio Ghibli is involved somehow? I think all my expectations for them are too high. I keep expecting that this one will be the one that makes some sense. And they keep failing.

Eat Drink Man Woman

I started watching Eat Drink Man Woman around 6:30, and quickly realised that was a terrible idea. I had to stop it around fifteen minutes in to have dinner. And I had a lot to eat, meaning that watching people sitting around with huge amounts of amazing looking food just made me feel slightly nauseous. Which sucked because that was some amazing looking food. Even ignoring just how good the food looked, the movie was amazingly touching. I'd, for some damn fool reason, seen Tortilla Soup before this. That was a Latino version set in southern California, only worth watching for the food. But it had the same basic plot. When I started to watch this, however, I completely forgot how wretched that was, and was just entranced by how amazing everything was in this. Ang Lee needs to make more movies like this and less like the Hulk. Admittedly I haven't seen the Hulk, but if there were more movies like Eat Drink Man Woman, I think the world would be a better place. But not movies exactly like Eat Drink Man Woman, as the aforementioned Tortilla Soup was crap. Watching the brief bit about Ang Lee in Taiwan just made it clear exactly why it was so effective: it was designed to be completely universal. And it succeeded beautifully. It's weird how many of movies I'm watching now are movies I know that my parents saw and loved when I was a youngun, but I missed because I was too young to appreciate them. Did make me feel like the middle daughter though. Damnit. I think I need to get back to work so I stop thinking about things.

Spider, Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars, The Ruling Class, Under Capricorn, Bent, & Hiroshima Mon Amour

This is going to be fairly brief, since I've been pretty sick this past week, plus work sucked. And I went to NYC for an office holiday party and saw friends I hadn't seen in years. Basically I was really busy every day until today, and I'm still coughing a lot.

Spider has an amazingly good performance from Ralph Fiennes, although, really, it shouldn't be amazing. He's just that good. Depressing movie though.

Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars has terrible video quality. If that was the improved version, then... I don't know what the hell was going on in the original. Murky, bad sound, and worse, it made early 70s Bowie look bad. How was that possible? And it's not like D.A. Pennebaker doesn't know what he's doing, because he's the man responsible for Don't Look Back. Just an utter mess of a movie. Listen to the albums, it'll be much more enjoyable.

The Ruling Class has another good performance from Peter O'Toole in a way too long movie. Him as Jesus Christ was somewhat enjoyable, but it became ridiculous when they brought in the Electric God or whatever. What the hell? Before that it was full of very funny lines. After that it was a sharp satire of sanity of the rich and powerful and the House of Lords. But during that, it was just stupid.

Under Capricorn was a mess for a Hitchcock. Yeah, it kept the long takes of Rope, although it wasn't entirely made of them, but it had no real tension, and most scenes moved like molasses. The cast was wasted, and the story was boring as hell. Plus, the DVD was crap. The only thing that made it somewhat worth watching for was the head in the bed. That was quite a shock. And I even knew that was coming.

Bent has a great performance from Clive Owen as a gay German during the Holocaust. Just from that sentence, you can tell it was a happy movie. However, I'm really not sure how that movie could have possibly been rated NC-17. I don't recall any extended frontal male nudity or anything else that normally makes movies rated NC-17. What's up with that, M.P.A.Freakin'A.?

Hiroshima Mon Amour made me start crying about five minutes in, and didn't let up. I never want to see another mutilated body ever again, but I know that that's a problem with this planet: we're always going to have war. At least until we get rid of everyone. The long beginning showing the survivors of Hiroshima made me extremely uncomfortable. Not just for that, but also because I almost went to see the movie on the big screen with a date. I would have felt very uncomfortable there. I still would have loved the movie, but that would have been a good story for why I screwed up that relationship (She looks really good now too, better than when I dated her). The plot of the movie itself didn't really work all that way, although it's interesting to compare that to Hollywood films of the time, since there's no way any of it would have been made here with that adultery and unmarried sex bit. But as a look at the effects of Hiroshima, it was very effective.

Drugstore Cowboy & My Favorite Year

Drugstore Cowboy was a sort of sad movie about druggies in Oregon in 1971. But it goes to show that Gus Van Sant is not a total incompetent. Only mainly. Matt Dillon was somewhat good, but the movie never became more than its parts. Shame really, because it could have been great.

My Favorite Year was one of those madcap movies that thinks that comedy is having a character do the bug eyes and rush off to stop someone doing something funny. Unfortunately, it also has Peter O'Toole in a very good performance. Meaning that I can't completely dismiss the movie as crap. Damnit.

Syriana

Syriana was so good. Clooney acted his pants off. Not literally, because he was fat in the movie and that would have been disturbing. Well, he was 35 pounds overweight with a big beard. But he was very convincing. Damon's subplot seemed a little unnecessary, but the oil company merger subplot and the suicide bombers more than made up for that weakness. The torture scenes were extremely painful looking, and I never want to see another fingernail pulled off with pliers ever again. The merger subplot was, I think, the most important one in it, because it had Tim Blake Nelson, and his rant about why corruption is important was just amazing ("Corruption charges. Corruption? Corruption ain't nothing more than government intrusion into market efficiencies in the form of regulation. That's Milton Friedman. He got a goddamn Nobel prize. We have laws against it precisely so we can get away with it. Corruption is our protection. Corruption is what keeps us safe and warm. Corruption is why you and I are prancing around here instead of fighting each other for scraps of meat out in the streets. (beat) Corruption... is how we win."). This movie won't make a lot of money, because it's so damn comlicated and depressing (not just the content, but mainly what it predicts for the world), but it is a must see movie. Apparently, Gaghan made it confusing on purpose, but I found that it wasn't all that difficult to follow, although it took a while to get all the Arab characters straight. And most reviews by lay people who have said it was confusing were missing things that I saw or heard easily. So just pay attention, and it'll be fine.
After watching the movie, the Sierra Club (from whom I heard about the free preview and got the tickets) brought out their special guests, who just happened to be Bob Baer and Stephen Gaghan. Which was absolutely awesome.
Stephen was extremely funny narrating the closing credits ("These are very long", "I picked this very readable font from a menu at a restaurant I liked, and then I found out it was used on road signs", "Just wait a bit for the timpani", "This guy is responsible for us being able to continue to film in Dubai because he stood up to a general who tried to shut us down after a couple days"), and then told stories about how some of the things in the movie had happened to him, including the kidnapping to meet with Hezbollah, except that he said the leader of Hezbollah said that he loved Traffic, which was just bizarre. Apparently, he got a call within a couple minutes of stepping off the plane in Beirut, and a friend of a friend of Bob Baer's tells him he has a surprise for him but that he needed to come immediately, so Stephen decides to do it, and then gets everything taken from him and a hood put over his head, and starts to think that he's stupid because it took less than fifteen minutes in Lebanon before he got captured. He also told a great story about trying to get Richard Perle to say who they'd turn Iraq over to when they'd gotten done with the war, if Perle's preferred choice of Chalabi was rejected (as he clearly was because he hadn't lived in Iraq for years and was a puppet of both the Iranians and the US Government). So Perle steepled his hands and waits for a bit, until someone comes in and says Bibi's here. Then he says Excellent, just like Mr. Burns. Perle apparently has a dog named Reagan, and it went for Bibi's crotch, but Gaghan was pulling it off. Not the crotch, but the dog. So when Stephen was leaving, he goes out to the cab to see his Lebanese cab driver surrounded by Mossad agents with guns, and the cabbie just says, "Can we go now?" Absolutely insane. I'm telling the stories in a poor fashion, but Gaghan was absolutely mesmerizing with a microphone. I completely understand how he can pitch his movies. But he said that he has better stories he couldn't tell in the movie because no one would believe them.
Bob was a little more subdued, but much scarier because he clearly had experience and was talking about how the invasion of Iraq had set back our cause decades, and that it was only a matter of when a lot of countries in the Middle East would collapse. Very scary thought. He talked about a friend in Iraq who was completely right about what would happen after the main phase of the Iraq war, with no real fighting and then guerrilla war for a long time afterward. As an ABC reporter, Bob was trying to get into Iraq without a visa in the early days of fighting to see this friend, and, apparently, have the head of Iraqi intelligence surrender to him, and he eventually got in when the border guard was bribed with 100 goats, but about 12 hours from this guy's house in Ramadi, he heard that the Air Force had bombed the house and taken out some of Saddam's cousins who were staying there, but also took out all their wives and children as well. And he told the story like it was nothing. They also talked for a bit about how much they couldn't put in the film, due to legal issues, saying that at least one Arab country had successfully sued a movie when it was used in a derogatory fashion or something. But that Warner legal was scared of this happening to them over this firebomb of a movie. They said that the unnamed Persian Gulf state was made into an amalgam to avoid legal issues. He also explained what Syriana meant, which is fairly close to what I thought, but didn't say when he asked what we thought it meant: Syriana is a think tank term for the remade Middle East that has countries that help with the oil interests. I was going to say that it was a state of mind, that it was the idea that the Middle East could be remade. So instead of it being a state of mind it was sort of the actual Middle East.

In Good Company

In Good Company was described as a pro-corporate movie. It's actually just an anti-corporate double-speak movie. With good, but not too good, performances from the leads. But the problem with the movie is that it's a reaction to downsizing and corporations going after the profit motive. Which would be fine, if it weren't a Hollywood version of it. Which means happy ending. Beh. Plus, why does Selma Blair always get cast as the evil bitch? Is it just because she has dark hair? Can they not find better roles to give to her?

Good Night, & Good Luck., Stage Fright, Homecoming, Macbeth, & Kung Fu Hustle

Good Night, & Good Luck. has a period in the title. David Strathairn was very good, and it's an interesting story, but it just feels so superficial of an approach to the material. Doesn't make it a bad movie at all, just means that it works only as a history and a sort of evocation for the era. Plus, of course, a love letter to a time when journalists did their job and were very important. Clooney clearly loves this movie, and Murrow, and does as good a job as can be expected from a movie that was made, at least somewhat, to piss off Faux News and Bill O'Reilly. Who do deserve it, definitely.

Stage Fright contains one of Hitchcock's least favorite things, the false flashback. I'd read about it so many times, and yet when it appeared, I never once remembered that. Hitchcock was clearly a master filmmaker, and he was able to make even a typical plot of his interesting. Definitely worth seeing, even if just for Marlene Dietrich's very good performance. And the flashback, but mainly Marlene.

Homecoming was Joe Dante's entry into the Masters of Horror anthology series on Showtime. And damn if it didn't just make me more pissed off than ever that we couldn't just have zombies come back from the dead to vote out Bush. Damnit. Funny, angrifying, and infuriating. Actually, I just wanted to use angrifying. Probably most enjoyable for those of us who think that some funny business has been going on with this administration, but it's actually a well done hour long zombie film. Yeah, low budget as hell, but very enjoyable anyway. But, of course, I couldn't help thinking that the dead were supposed to vote Republican.

Macbeth is almost entirely a reaction by Polanski to the Manson family murders. The violence, the insanity, and the entire tragedy just seems to fit. Could have been a better movie, mainly by, I don't know, having a stronger Lady Macbeth, and, say, not having large amounts of fat women naked in it. But at least there was a decapitation, which makes any movie better. Not nearly as good of an adaptation as Throne of Blood, even if it had the actual lines in it. Weird that Hefner produces this actual good, if extremely nihilistic, movie, while Bob Guccione just produced the crap that was Caligula. Apparently Playboy is a lot classier than Penthouse.

Kung Fu Hustle was fun, but ultimately, it's just like every other Stephen Chow film, flashes of brilliance, along with lots of humor that just falls flat. However, he again finds a very attractive leading lady to have be a mute or have a strange physical condition, or be a prostitute. Just let them be normal, because few of those things are funny. Well, being a prostitute can be funny, like the idea that Pretty Woman was a good movie, but Chow just pushes some things too far. The huge amounts of CGI would have been distracting had I not just approached the movie as a live-action cartoon. Which, unlike Joe Dante's Looney Tunes: Back in Action, actually works as a movie. And what was with the guy who always had his pants riding low? Needed? I think not. I have this bad feeling about the gay kung fu master, if I didn't also have a competing feeling that it was done somewhat tongue in cheek. Somewhat, as Hong Kong is years behind even the US in accepting homosexuality. Which is sad. Not that there aren't great films with homosexuality (one only need to see Happy Together to realize that), but most mainstream films use gays as a punchline rather than as real people. And I, of course, loved the many film references.

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Undertow, A Raisin in the Sun, Beau Travail, & Ikiru

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was very interesting, and felt closer to the book in tone than Gene Wilder's, but the songs were better in the 70s version. Oompah, Loompa, Doopidie-do, I've got another riddle for you. Can't get better than that. It almost made me want to have some chocolate, except that I really don't get nearly as much pleasure out of plain chocolate as almost anyone else.
Undertow was a strange movie, with extended bits that kept me from thinking that Jamie Bell is English, but then I'd get a look at him and think Billy Elliot, and stop believing him as a Southerner. And then he convinces me he's a Southerner again. Great performance from him. Not sure about it otherwise though, because it dragged in parts.
A Raisin in the Sun was dated, but otherwise an interesting play. Mainly suffered from Sidney Poitier's overacting. Yeah, you heard me right, he overacted his way through this.
Beau Travail sucked. Only interesting thing was the music in the club scenes, and the attractive girls in the club scenes. So basically, if you took the club scenes and made them longer and gave them some sort of plot, I would have enjoyed it much more.
Ikiru was outstanding, and stands as probably the best anti-bureaucracy film of all time. An outstanding performance from Shimizu, but really, Kurosawa just made himself another masterpiece. So many of his films are amazing. Made me want to go out and see if I could go remove some bureaucracy from Washington, but then I realized that I probably couldn't do much unless I knew some people in power. And I don't yet.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, The Manchurian Candidate, Mysterious Skin, & Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children probably makes little sense to someone who doesn't already know these characters and the basic plot of FFVII. I also imagine that it might help to read some reviews of it to see if you can pick up the plot, since most of it doesn't really get explained. I also appreciated that Tifa had more clothes on this time. Before was sort of ridiculous. I also would have preferred that there was more Aeris, but since she's dead, I guess we can't have that. Makes me somewhat interested in seeing what they could do with new technology and FFVII. Well, I guess we can always just accept that the new games will have to keep us busy.

The Manchurian Candidate was ok, but didn't need to be made, nor did it do anything new for the story. Denzel was ok, as were Meryl and Liev, but none really did anything new. Beh to the making of this movie.

Mysterious Skin is one of those, yay for pederasts movies. Wait, it was one of those pederasts are terrible movies. Quite a few more of the latter than the former. Acting was very good from that young alien, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I was a little shocked I actually liked a Gregg Araki movie. Did not care at all for Doom Generation. If you're up for a pederast movie, and for seeing Dawn in a good role, then see this movie.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire felt like it was just trying to fit in as much plot as possible, and thus just spent lots of time on the plot and not enough on allowing characters to do much. Plus, it didn't take nearly enough advantage of Katie Leung's accent. There were actual gasps in the theater when she spoke. Is a thick Scottish accent coming out of an Asian girl that surprising? Really? I like to think that it was just the audience. So yeah, I saw the movie in a theater. Does make me want to read the book, since it appears lots of interesting things happened outside of the scope of the book. JK needs to write quickly.

Porn v. Art v. How To Be Good

Well, I don't want to toot my own horn too much, but I scored a 10 out of 10 on this quiz. I recognized two of these pictures (two of the art ones, that is), so the other 8 were just good educated guesses, but yay me!

At some point I'll start to write up what I did over my break, but it was lots of movies and reading How To Be Good, which was not nearly as good as Hornby's other books. Some of that could be that I don't identify with the protagonist (a female doctor in her 30's in suburban England with two kids), but I think Hornby's much better when he's writing about football, music and men. His music criticism is always interesting, and High Fidelity and About a Boy are two of the best fiction books I've read in the past decade. Not the best, but near the best.

Movie stuff will be written when I have some free time, or at least time where there's stuff I'm less interested in doing.

Well, aren't the younguns all going to hell in a handbasket?

Because I haven't been watching movies this week and I'm going home for Thanksgiving, I leave you with this AIM conversation that occurred Friday afternoon. I don't know what the hell the world is coming to when a 10 year old uses this filthy language. I probably wouldn't post this if it weren't just amazing that someone could be this insane.

numba1stud1229 (5:02:54 PM): do you know who i am
numba1stud1229 (5:03:04 PM): hi
me (5:14:27 PM): what would give me any hint as to who you are?
numba1stud1229 (5:15:05 PM): i live in your neiborhood
me (5:15:26 PM): which is where?
numba1stud1229 (5:16:00 PM): reganmead
numba1stud1229 (5:16:44 PM): im..................................................harris
me (5:16:59 PM): where is reganmead and who is harris?
numba1stud1229 (5:17:01 PM): due
numba1stud1229 (5:17:14 PM): who is this
numba1stud1229 (5:17:19 PM): ??????
me (5:17:29 PM): you're the one who im'ed me
numba1stud1229 (5:17:50 PM): whats your name
me (5:18:08 PM): well, I'll give you a hint, and it's my screenname
numba1stud1229 (5:18:33 PM): [redacted] what neiborhood
numba1stud1229 (5:20:16 PM): yt
numba1stud1229 (5:20:30 PM): ???
numba1stud1229 (5:21:11 PM): ello
me (5:21:25 PM): considering I don't know who you are nor do I know where reganmead is, I don't feel comfortable continuing this conversation, plus I feel you could work a little on your spelling
numba1stud1229 (5:21:50 PM): ok bitch
numba1stud1229 (5:21:58 PM): ass hole
numba1stud1229 (5:22:53 PM): aaaaaaaaaawwwwwww are you scard
me (5:23:10 PM): why, exactly would I feel scared about someone who doesn't know who I am, nor where I live?
me (5:23:58 PM): plus, really, calling me a bitch shows a level of maturity far beyond your spelling skills
numba1stud1229 (5:24:08 PM): you are a mother fucker
numba1stud1229 (5:24:23 PM): :-D:-X
numba1stud1229 (5:24:39 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
me (5:25:24 PM): wow, I'm really, really, really impressed with your ability to curse
me (5:25:29 PM): and use emoticons
numba1stud1229 (5:25:36 PM): yea
numba1stud1229 (5:25:44 PM): you should
me (5:25:52 PM): maybe you should try elevating your discourse to an 8 year old level
numba1stud1229 (5:26:17 PM): how old are you im 10
numba1stud1229 (5:26:23 PM): ???
me (5:27:17 PM): see, that doesn't shock me at all
numba1stud1229 (5:27:43 PM): how old
numba1stud1229 (5:27:45 PM): 2
numba1stud1229 (5:27:53 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha ha
me (5:27:56 PM): I'd recommend just ending the conversation and backing away before you continue to embarrass yourself
numba1stud1229 (5:28:43 PM): ok bitch or are you scard
me (5:29:01 PM): I'd be a lot more scared if you could complete a sentence
numba1stud1229 (5:29:32 PM): i did dum ass
numba1stud1229 (5:30:14 PM): go suck your moms dick
me (5:30:28 PM): ooh, clever
numba1stud1229 (5:30:30 PM): hhahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha
numba1stud1229 (5:30:40 PM): i know
numba1stud1229 (5:30:48 PM): im good
numba1stud1229 (5:31:36 PM): you dont curs do you
numba1stud1229 (5:31:43 PM): ?????????????????????????????????????????????
me (5:31:55 PM): why don't you start saying things like my mom's so fat you rolled over twice and were still on top of her?
numba1stud1229 (5:32:36 PM): because thats gay like you
numba1stud1229 (5:32:46 PM): hahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahahahaha
numba1stud1229 (5:33:15 PM): ooooooooo i got you
me (5:33:16 PM): wow, homophobia can be added to the reasons why you're a top notch human being
numba1stud1229 (5:33:53 PM): im not smart i will ad ment that
numba1stud1229 (5:34:11 PM): im in 5th
numba1stud1229 (5:34:22 PM): grade
me (5:35:08 PM): I'd really suggest that you just sign off and go wash up for dinner
numba1stud1229 (5:36:23 PM): you go wash your dick so you can suck it...........oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo
numba1stud1229 (5:36:46 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhah ahah

...31 blank lines sent by numba1stud1229...

me (5:39:38 PM): if only I could suck my own dick, I'd be a happy man
numba1stud1229 (5:40:08 PM): by bitch
numba1stud1229 signed off at 5:40:13 PM.

I win.

Pride & Prejudice, House of the Dead, Spanglish, & AD cancellation

Pride & Prejudice was unbelievably good. Can't quite tell whether it's just that I love the story and even a changed and simplified version can make me giddy. It's a different version of it than the previous feature length Hollywood version. Which did a terrible job with it. Really, the entire movie was so amazingly put together that the changes (including the entirely unneeded Sixteen Candles ending) didn't actually hurt my impression. The directing, especially during the dance scenes, actually blew the BBC version out of the water. Matthew MacFadyen is no Colin Firth, but at least Jane Bennet was hot in this version. And Brenda Blethyn was very good. Donald Sutherland did a fairly good job, but that's mainly because his lines are almost the best in the book. I don't like the smaller parts that the non-essential characters were cut back to. I got the impression that things were simplified, and that bothered me. But the parts that were still there was more than enough to make up for those changes.

House of the Dead may actually be the worst video game movie ever made. Which is saying a hell of a lot. Plus, why exactly did the Asian girl have to wear a stars and stripes leotard? But really the big question is why everyone was deadly accurate with weapons and their fighting style? And the gratuitous nudity? Crap. Uwe Boll needs to be banned from being near a camera.

Spanglish was a little simple. Plus, I just didn't care for it. Eh. Good enough, but nothing remotely special. Sandler was good, but that's becoming normal in his non-crap films.

The cancellation of Arrested Development sucks ass. Hard. I would have been happier had they actually treated the show with the respect that a multiple Emmy winner should have commanded, but no, Fox has lost any chance I would have to watch another show. They haven't given a low-rated but amazing show any support in a long time. Possibly not since the X-Files. At least we got two and a half seasons of the funniest show on TV. Fauxin' Fox.

Romper Stomper & Altered States

I'm not entirely sure why I had another crazy Nazi youth gang movie in my queue so soon after The Believer, but Romper Stomper was much worse than that one, as this just had a good performance from Russell Crowe and Daniel Pollock, who unfortunately killed himself before this was released. They were both good, although really, I prefer my Nazi youth gangs of today movies to be a little deeper than this. American History X and The Believer at least had some interesting ideas behind it. I'm not entirely sure this had anything behind it except that Nazis are bad, mmkay? And that you should never, ever mess with the Vietnamese, because they will keep coming and coming and coming until you wish you had never decided to support the French and then fake an attack on your ships in the Gulf of Tonkin and then bomb Cambodia. Really, just stop and think.

Altered States. "The purpose of our suffering is only more suffering." Unfortunately, that was also the purpose of the movie. Interesting, but ultimately crap. Nice visuals, but not for a story that makes any sense. But Blair Brown was hot, but the movie was crap. Too bad for her that the rest of the movie wasn't worth it, unless you want to see William Hurt morph into a strangely shaped blob. Or Bob Balaban with lots of hair, or Drew Barrymore in a tiny role, or John Larroquette and George Gaynes in small roles. So basically, don't see unless you are on drugs. I was not on drugs.

Dead or Alive 2, Avalon, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, & those damn lying Republicans

Dead or Alive 2 was actually a much more sensitive movie than the first one, although the sprouting of wings was a little heavy handed, and put that together with the intertitles and you get a very obvious film. The hitmen working for vaccines for Africa was a nice touch, but it just built a weird sense of reality in what was otherwise a sort of messed-up morality tale. I actually thought that it was good, except for a few bits that were just unnecessarily gross, but those are to be expected in any Miike film. The DVD itself was somewhat crappy. So I'd actually recommend the first and second films in the trilogy to anyone who wants to see a couple somewhat crazy yakuza films, but the final one needs a little warning before jumping into it.

Avalon was... somewhat impressive visually, but the plot never really made any sense. Well, you sort of had to have seen the Matrix to get some idea of what was going on, which shouldn't be required for anything that isn't a sequel. Pretty crappy, and the English dubbing was terrible. Just let them speak in Polish and use subtitles. At least I didn't have to pay any money to see it. The sepia tones did give the movie a unique look, but there was nothing unique about the plot. Shame really.

And I finally want to discuss just how happy the two episodes of Arrested Development on Monday made me. Very happy. I thought that there were so many funny lines that it would be a waste to go through them all. Just the funniest show on TV. Although the Curb Your Enthusiasm about jackets and kidneys and the Playboy Mansion was the best episode of this season so far I think.

And politics sucks. All my clients lost. All of them.

Shopgirl, Dead or Alive, Dead or Alive: Final, Meet the Fockers, George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing

Shopgirl was really good. I know that a couple of the other people who saw it didn't like it, but I did. Seems a little flip, but I completely agree with Roger Ebert's review of it, where he said "One of the things you cannot do in this life is impose conditions on love. Another impossibility is to expect another's heart to accommodate your own desires and needs." I'm actually finding that I agree with a lot of his reviews, making me feel bad for my vulgar references to him. Because he's 100% correct. The main complaint mentioned was that it was a middle-aged man's fantasy, which just doesn't make any sense if you've actually paid any attention to the movie. I think she was just bitter because of the cracks about Vermont. Which were hilarious.

Dead or Alive was, except for a scene with a small tub of excrement and the last scene of the movie, a fairly typical but very good yakuza film. It started out with an amazing sequence, one that just shows how good Miike can be, especially when he isn't so busy doing crazy, disgusting stuff. He's even talented when he's doing crazy things, but he sometimes lets the craziness overwhelm the talent. From the interview on the disc with Miike, he is very right with "Maybe a movie is worthwhile if it has a single incredible shot. I want the audience to feel that kind of possibility." Wong Kar-Wai fills his movies with incredible shots. Miike fills his movies with things you'd never expect to see. Oh, wait, I also didn't like the bestiality. Never like the bestiality. So the bestiality, excrement, and that last scene just really hurt the movie.

Such as in Dead or Alive: Final. What the hell is with the ending robot-monster thing? Plus, the gay stereotype was pretty over the top. Plus, the movie never seemed to go anywhere. At least the three movies aren't really linked in anything but a brief set of clips from all three movies before the end. Just bleh, because it could have been much better, but Miike clearly didn't spend anything to get a good movie. Plus, that one character who speaks English while everyone else speaks either Chinese or Japanese doesn't make any sense.

Meet the Fockers is actually less funny than the first one. Nothing funny at all in it. Not that I thought the first one really required a sequel, but at least that one had some funny bits. I didn't laugh at all at it. Oh, and Teri Polo is terrible.

George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing has one of Carlin's hilarious poetic monologues at the beginning. Making the first five or so minutes better than most comics could dream of. Carlin's hilarious, and anyone who says different should be forced to watch a fourteen year old telling knock knock jokes in Inuit for two weeks.

The Falcon and the Snowman

The Falcon and the Snowman was prettty unexpected, as it wasn't some flashy spy movie, but one that actually seemed realistic in every aspect, probably due to the fact that it's a true story. And with my interest in everything spy, I think I may have been slightly biased towards it. Sean Penn was pretty good, but Timothy Hutton was outstanding. Completely unexpected. And that this movie was responsible for This Is Not America is another point for it. And Hercule Poirot being a Soviet spy was added fun.

Red River

Red River is pretty much Howard Hawks saying to Howard Hughes that if you're going to take my movie away from me, then I'm going to make the movie much better. Plus, putting John Wayne and Montgomery Clift in place of almost anyone will usually be an improvement. Especially in a Western. Clift is very good, while John Wayne just feels like he is being John Wayne. Maybe I should have seen this before The Searchers, because he plays basically the same character. And that one felt much less claustrophobic, John Ford directing and filming in Monument Valley and many more impressive long shots. Hawks focuses much more on the human interaction than Ford did, but he doesn't have enough in it, and the movie just never gets over the hump from being a good movie to being a great movie. Hawks can do screwball comedy very well, but his directing style is usually a little claustrophobic for a Western. It only works well in Rio Bravo, which is intentional, since it's set almost entirely in a jail.

Inside Deep Throat, The Basketball Diaries, and the rarity of the Firefly DVDs

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The Door in the Floor, Splendor in the Grass, Hell House, Catwoman, & Children of a Lesser God

The Door in the Floor was really depressing. Well, it's like a John Irving novel that doesn't actually have the final happy ending. Mainly because it's only of the first third of the book. I didn't even realise that the book was about the daughter until I read up on it. Still, it was very good and Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges were excellent. Just a little depressing for me.

Splendor in the Grass has a very attractive Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood. Just made me pretty happy that most people aren't quite that repressed now. Another depressing movie. Also somewhat suprised at how much they showed of Natalie Wood. Clearly the Hays Code office forgot to censor the movie.

Hell House was another depressing movie. But mainly because there are a bunch of seriously misguided people out there who think that they're the only ones who are right. And that everyone else is going to burn in hellfire for ever and ever. The people there who were trying to figure out the evil things that they were trying to convince people to avoid just goes to show that they don't understand anything. They lead sheltered lives without any actual contact with these sinners they're trying to convert. Admittedly the "other side" in the movie was a bunch of foul-mouthed idiots, but seeing the visitors' reactions to the rooms was painful. Are there that many people who believe that Ru-486 will lead to a painful and bloody abortion? Are there that many people who believe that raves lead to rapes? And who thinks that the internet will lead to adultery and spousal abuse? In the end, the movie is frustrating for me, because it comes so close to damning these "religious" types, except that I actually liked a lot of them. Certainly not the leaders, most of whom were attention whores. But the others were mainly misguided people, who would have been normal if you avoided the religion or politics potholes in conversation. That's what's most scary to me.

Catwoman was crap. Nothing remotely redeeming. Maybe if I actually liked Halle Berry at all, I might have enjoyed her in skimpy clothes. And the CGI was some of the worst in an allegedly big budget film in years.

Children of a Lesser God has a very good performance from both Marlee Matlin and William Hurt and was well done. But it never really overcomes the problem of being a movie about a man and a woman, one has a serious problem, overcoming the problem. Plus, this had some horrible 80s music.

The Verdict, True Believer, The Believer, The Girl Who Knew Too Much, & High Society

The Verdict had a great performance from Paul Newman and an interesting David Mamet script. Too bad that it's a typical lawyer gets a last chance at redemption plot. Well done, but nothing too special. Good cast though.

True Believer has a good performance from James Woods as a former idealistic civil rights lawyer who defends a Korean accused of murdering to join a gang. I decided I was going to have a little themed string of movies, with these two lawyer getting back to their jobs. Then I went for the next movie because of their similar titles. Robert Downey Jr. was also pretty good, and Kurtwood Smith is one of those That Guy guys. I never remembered his name.

The Believer was really good, and Ryan Gosling was very good. Billy Zane will always be funny (The Phantom stars Billy Zane, which very few people will get). Interesting and fascinating look at self-hating Jews, and watching the interview with the writer-director made it a little less offensive, but it explained the movie well. Probably not as interesting to a non-Jew, but just a good movie.

The Girl Who Knew Too Much I saw is not, repeat not, the Adam West film from 1969. I saw the Mario Bava film with John Saxon (my favorite actor I've met, on the set of a Nike commercial in 1999). Hitchcock ripoff, and it had too many non-sensical aspects. Plus, it felt very long at less than 90 minutes. Boring. And there were scratches on the DVD print.

High Society was a musical remake of Philadelphia Story, with Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, and Frank Sinatra replacing Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and James Stewart. Plus, the entire rest of the cast wasn't as good as the original either. The best bits were the parts directly from the original. And as hot as Grace Kelly is, she's no Katharine Hepburn from 1940. Well, actually, Grace Kelly is one of the most attractive women ever, but Charles Walters just can't make her as attractive as Hitchcock was able to.

Portastatic 10/17 The Black Cat

Truckstop Cassettes
Chesepeake
Through with People
Paratrooper
Cunning Latch
Rock and Roll Friend (Go-Betweens)
Full of Stars
White Wave
Autumn was a Lark
I Wanna Know Girls
Noisy Night
San Andreas

I think Rock and Roll Friend was played somewhat later in the set, but I could be wrong. Sort of hard to remember setlists when you're too busy bouncing along, even if you are singing along to every track. But I'm pretty sure that's everything. I also wanted to say just how amazing the rocking version of Paratrooper was.

Somehow this was the first Portastatic show I'd actually been to, and it was a hell of a lot more like a Superchunk show than I was expecting. Which was awesome. I would like to apologize to Margaret and Jim for being such a total fanboy after the set, but there are just times when I'm too bouncy even at 11 on a Monday night after a long day of work and a couple hours in a smoke-y club.

I stuck around for a few John Vanderslice songs, but it was late. And the opening act was some group that I can't remember. And I'm too lazy to find out who it was.

Lost in America & Alien Vs. Predator

Lost in America was funny and insightful, but I imagine I'd have liked it more were I a rich person in the mid-80s. The scene with Albert Brooks trying to convince the casino manager to give him back his nest egg was worth watching the movie for.

Alien Vs. Predator ruined both franchises. Well, it would have had Alien not ruined itself with Alien: Resurrection, which Joss Whedon is still paying for. Too bad I'm more and more convinced that it's the executives' choice of Jeunet as director that screwed up that movie. Could have been a good movie. AVP was doomed from the instant Paul W.S. Anderson was attached to do anything for the movie. What a blight upon the name Paul Anderson. At least Joss Whedon is no longer responsible for writing the worst Alien film. And it's definitely the worst Predator film, as I sort of like Predator 2, and little is as goofy as a Schwarzennegger film. Anyway, Lance Henriksen could be completely wasted in this movie, even if the Weyland thing was nice. Too bad it made no sense. Wasn't the Bishop in Alien 3 the real one? Why the hell did it have to take place in the present day? So many wasted opportunities in this movie. Too many of them were unfortunately made too early for it.

The Corner, Veronica Mars Season 1, & Blood for Dracula

The Corner was excellent. And depressing. And excellent. But very, very depressing. The depressingness was redeemed somewhat by the epilogue filmed in the present day (as of the filming). Very good performances from everyone. Especially the makeup team who really freaked me out with those infected track marks. Much freakier than Requiem for a Dream. Took me a while to figure out when it was set. Or maybe I just missed that somewhere. Also strange to see Daniels and Freamon being drug addicts. When DeAndre was talking back to Marvin, I just wanted him to stand up and be all threatening like in the Wire. Man I miss that show.

Veronica Mars Season 1 was really good. Sort of wound up all the loose ends, but I'm sure that when I finally get around to watching the second season I'll have those loose ends become much bigger. I didn't like the fight scene at the end, as it was sort of a cop-out after that great season. And it was great to see Kyle Secor and Harry Hamlin being very creepy and threatening. I also liked the little Clash of the Titans references. I know that movie is terrible, but man, I just really like it. And anything that reminds me of Homicide is good. Very well plotted and only somewhat strained a little bit of believability.

Blood for Dracula has a great scenery chewing performance from Udo Kier and a horrendously bad New York accent by Joe Dallesandro after every other character has at least some sort of European one. I know it's silly to complain because it's not like it's the only movie where his accent is completely out of place. At least we have Udo Kier turning different colors and saying "wirgins" (and, of course, the flesh wounds at the end). And there's Joe Dallesandro being both a communist and a vampire expert. Somehow. Plus, he likes taking the characters virginity in rough ways. Not exactly the best hero for the movie. I was also annoyed by the messing with the vampire mythology, but I guess very few things have it all down to my exacting standards. And the incestuous lesbianism seemed completely unnecessary. "Wirgins". Hee. The subtext of vampirism being about not only sex but also class was an added touch I liked though. "Wirgins" though. Still can't help giggling at that.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ocean's Twelve, & Memories of Murder

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy probably would have sucked much harder if I actually remembered more of the book. Or had listened to the radio show. Or something. It's just sort of bleh, with some interesting ideas, and it seemed more like an attempt to remind everyone of something really funny than an actual movie. Plus, Sam Rockwell was so damn annoying. Was Zaphod that annoying in the book? I'd probably have to reread it to find out. I actually enjoyed parts of it, but overall it was just pointless. Better to just read the book. Or something other than watch this.

Ocean's Twelve was not as fun as the first, but something must be said for a movie that can make me smile like a moron for a large portion of the movie. And Topher Grace is extremely enjoyable. It took me a while to figure out who was playing the Nighthawk, but the entire cast looked like they were having a blast, and the final scene just confirmed it. Here's the thing that people complaining about the movie don't really understand: the first movie was masterfully made fluff. This was just not as well made fluff. Still fun, but not as good as the last one. Very pretty cast and very pretty locations.

Memories of Murder is a pretty by the book serial killer movie, although being about South Korea around the time of the first elections gives it an added kick. The main two policemen are also good in this. The female officer seems to be there only when needed for the story, while the movie has this feeling of being very Korean, but like every American serial killer film: obsessed with seeing dead women and having them be horribly murdered. Admittedly, many serial killers are obsessed with killing women. Being based on a true event, however, adds extra weight to scenes, even if I don't know enough Korean history to know how accurate it all is. That they never found the killer makes it all worse.

A History of Violence & Fresh

A History of Violence is gory, graphic, and great. Viggo and Maria are excellent, and Ed Harris is very threatening. And it's nice to see William Hurt get a fun role. The theater was packed, and we were stuck in the first row of the theater. I could almost see the entire screen at once. I really hate it, and my neck is still a little sore. Plus, seeing that gore so huge really messed with me. I'm also not sure about seeing Mario Bello's pubes so big on the screen either (well, not that she had a lot of pubes, but that I was very close to a big screen). Also a little disturbing to have the entire audience dissolve into giggles during the first sex scene. Admittedly, it starts out sort of funny, but giggling at a 69 position? Are they laughing because they don't expect to see that in a mainstream movie or something? What? And that brutal sex scene on the stairs? Why laugh at that? Doesn't make any sense. Cronenberg directs the action scenes very well, and it's definitely effective.

Fresh has a great performance from Sean Nelson. I need to see The Corner a bunch. And damn if Samuel L. Jackson isn't one of the best actors out there. His few scenes are very effective. It's just a great movie, and made me feel like I was watching part of the Wire. When the hell is season 3 coming out? Back to Fresh, and Giancarlo Esposito, who needs more good work. But as good as the adults are, and Esposito and Jackson are very good, Sean Nelson is so damn good that he actually outshines everyone. And he is much younger than everyone else in it. He was 13-ish when it was filmed, but he just controls this film and every scene he's in. Some of this is clearly a result of Boaz Yakin and his directing and writing talent for this film. A little flashier than I would like, not nearly enough like David Simon attached projects, but still good. That it's almost all chess based just adds to the attraction of the movie.

L.I.E. & Champagne for Caesar

L.I.E. was a pretty depressing and dark movie about pederasts. And some strong acting from the two leads. But it's such a sick movie that I didn't really care for it. I'd write more but that would require discussing some of the sick stuff that happens in it. And Brian Cox again is really good.

Champagne for Caesar. Well, that's the last time I listen only to that friend's movie recommendations. If I hadn't heard of the movie otherwise or read something positive, I'm not going to listen. I have other friends whose recommendations I listen to, but not him anymore. Sort of ok, sort of funny, but I'm not sure what is going on with anyone thinking it's brilliant or anything. Vincent Price still rocks hard, but I just wasn't too impressed. Plus, the DVD was crap. The menu audio was too loud, there were lots of scratches, and at least two parts where the video cuts out. Who makes a DVD with that many problems?

Serenity

Serenity was really, really good. I loved it, felt extremely pissed that Fox cancelled Firefly all over again (although there never would have been the nether regions line on TV, which was great and it really made me love Kaylee even more), and was extremely sad about the characters who died. I can't believe he killed them, but then again, that's typical Whedon. Always killing his characters. River kicking ass was pretty damn cool, and her just walking around showed Summer's ballet training. I think everyone should see this movie, after watching Firefly, and then Joss Whedon's brilliance will be finally accepted by the masses. Yeah, I cried and was shaking all through the final battle scenes due to a death seconds before, but it also could have been that I was soaked due to the pouring rain. I saw it with a friend who had seen half the episodes, and one who'd seen none, and they both loved it, so maybe people can see it and then they'll go and give Joss more money, but damn if they won't do better with it if they've seen the show.

Now, I'd discuss the characters who die, but I don't want to spoil anyone. So don't read this unless you've already seen the movie. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER. Killing off Book and Wash actually makes some sense, at least Book really does, since he never really fit in the rest of the show, but he did finally have his backstory explained, in a very roundabout way. That he was an Operative before hiding out and becoming a shepherd explains a hell of a lot. And I love that Whedon didn't bother to explain that, although it would have been missed by anyone who wasn't familiar with the show. Killing Wash, however, really sucked. He was my favorite character, and seeing Alan Tudyk die just blew. Really, really blew. Maybe with his newfound success as the pirate, he was becoming too famous for it. And they couldn't kill Zoe, or Mal, or Kaylee, or Simon, or River, so it was pretty much between Jayne, Wash, and Inara. Zoe is black and too kickass, Mal is the star, Kaylee just rocks everything, Simon and River are needed for plot purposes. Inara was Mal's love interest, so there goes her, Jayne is Adam Baldwin, a big star and the real muscle for the crew, plus he's funny. Wash... Wash was just my favorite character and funny and the pilot. But he was the most expendable of the rest of the main cast. Still hurts like hell.

Arrested Development 3.3, Gilmore Girls 6.4, & Felicia's Journey

Arrested Development 3.3. Is AD the funniest show on TV? It just may be. A show that can turn roofies into a hilarious thing is great. A show that comes up with Bob Loblaw as a character name is absolutely brilliant. But really, any show that comes up with the idea of combining an analyst and a therapist and coming up with analrapist is really going so far into funny as possibly being the funniest thing on TV. I really hate that baseball is going to preempt it for four weeks, and if the rumor is true that it may not be back, I will try never to watch another Fox show ever again. Mismanaging and not fully supporting Arrested Development is actually pissing me off more than them screwing any of their other shows I've loved. I really need to go buy the first two seasons on DVD. Really. But I really just need to stop giggling everytime I think of analrapist and Bob Loblaw. Actually, I'm going to go purchase the first two now, since Amazon is giving me another $10 off to get both. That'll give me the excuse to get the new Franz Ferdinand as well. Damn spending so much on music and DVDs. Damnit.

Gilmore Girls 6.4 needed a little more something. There was something wrong with it. Oh, yeah. Sookie and Jackson. And Jackson's family. They all suck. However, they did use the word snarcastic which is clearly the greatest word in the new English language. And I have tremendous lurve for that computer. I need that $9k G5. So very much.

Felicia's Journey features an extremely strong and very creepy performance from Bob Hoskins. And some interesting camerawork and strange soundtrack. Elaine Cassidy was also great. The entire movie just freaked me out. Extremely off-putting. Even with all that, it may be one of Atom Egoyan's best films. Just the weirdness and the occasional dragging bits keep it from being his best. Plus, I really hate proselytizers.

Rome 1.6, Curb Your Enthusiasm 5.2, & Extras 1.2

Rome 1.6 was my personal favorite episode yet. Three classic lines. "For that price, she'd better fuck like Helen of Troy with her ass on fire", "If Triton can't keep me any drier than this, he can suck my cock!", and the best one was "A large penis is always welcome". Size queen much? Niobe's kid is clearly too young for all this. Octavian is great. Atia is such a slut. And a terrible person to boot. Now, historical accuracy may be damned, but I may be enjoying the show more.

Curb Your Enthusiasm 5.2 had a great dog, and a great plot with the lesbian and black underground messaging. Hilarious. Wondering about the season arc, but there are probably some threads that have been in the shows so far. And that guy with the stutter made the episode, because really, a guy with a stutter screaming obsceneties is funny, and doing it at Larry David is even better.

Extras 1.2 was somewhat funny, especially the ending scene with Ben Stiller and Andy's Stiller baiting, but severely suffers from comparisons with the Office. It needs more characters than Andy and Maggie. It needs characters who aren't worthless. I'm also extremely disappointed that they're showing these out of order in the US. So this was actually 1.1, and last week was 1.3. What the hell? HBO normally respects their shows. What the hell?

I, Robot

I, Robot was actually somewhat interesting for a big budget Hollywood action film. Too bad the action scenes were blah at best. And it ruined any chance at making other Asimov stories into movies. I also wonder why there was the need for matching male and female shower scenes. Not that I'm really complaining. Not about Will Smith. Just about supporting gratuitous male nudity if there's going to be gratuitous female nudity. Alan Tudyk was again wasted, by not actually being in the movie. Asimov's stories in I, Robot may not make particularly good movies, but they're fascinating. Alex Proyas made it more interesting than it otherwise would be.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story & Tin Men

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was blah. Occasionally funny, sometimes just so ridiculous you had to laugh. But really, just homophobic and too ridiculous. The Deus Ex Machina treasure chest was about right for the movie. I wanted more Alan Tudyk. More Wash would have been a good thing.

Tin Men. Fine Young Cannibals? What the hell? The other music was vintage, but Fine Young Cannibals don't belong in a movie about 1963 Baltimore aluminum siding salesmen. What an amazing cast, with some of my favorite character actors, like Bruno Kirby, J.T. Walsh, Seymour Cassell, and John Mahoney, along with a very good Barbara Hershey, Danny DeVito, and Richard Dreyfuss. Plus, it's like an extension of Levinson's other Baltimore films, meaning that I enjoyed it.

Auntie Mame & the Young Girls of Rochefort

Auntie Mame was... an episodic movie that felt like it was about to burst into song at any moment, but it never did. Plus, the butler was a terrible stereotype, not as bad as in Breakfast at Tiffany's, but still pretty offensive. Plus, at least half the episodes sucked. Only a strong performance from Rosalind Russell makes me not regret watching it. And I'm still mainly regretting it, but I'm regretting reading all the positive reviews. I have read reviews that Lucille Ball's version is even worse. I know replacing Russell with Ball is enough to doom anything for me.

The Young Girls of Rochefort was fluff, and not nearly as good as the Umbrellas of Cherbourg, and not even an operetta (when I first heard talking, I was disappointed). Seeing George Chakiris singing and dancing was nice as well, even if no one actually sang for themselves (besides Danielle Darrieux and Kelly). I recognized some of Kelly's moves from his earlier movies, and he was great. Colors were just as good, Deneuve just as attractive, but there was no depth. That bittersweet aspect of Cherbourg made it much more than just a musical. However, this has Gene Kelly, and the long takes that make a musical a musical. To show that they're actually dancing. And they really can dance. Just wished for more plot. Well, less murderer subplot and more depth.

No Direction Home: Bob Dylan & The Man with the Golden Arm

No Direction Home: Bob Dylan was really neat. Too much focus on his pre-music career. However, the mid-60s stuff was absolutely amazing. Even though I'd seen a lot of it in Don't Look Back, and heard some of the music on the previous Bootleg Series. There were some really neat scenes, like with Dylan going over the signs at the pet store and him playing at the March on Washington. Plus, there were some self-serving interviews with some of the people. Dylan, himself, wasn't too biased at all, which was nice, plus he was interesting and charming. Good for him.

The Man with the Golden Arm had a great performance by Frank Sinatra, and a good anti-Hays code plot, even if it still was a typical Hollywood film in almost everything about it except for the heroin plot. Even had the evil wife that drove the hero into the arms of another woman. Not nearly as flashy as the current string of drug movies, but it isn't as wussy as most 50s movies. And Otto Preminger again gets an interesting opening credit sequence from Saul Bass, who did a lot of the best title sequences of the 50s and 60s.

Operation Ceasefire

Well, protesters are stupid. They give rational anti-war people a bad name. Because I don't think that we're really as bad as they think. What the hell is the point of an Iranian flag at a protest against the war in Iraq? Are they saying that we should go to an Islamic fundamentalist republic? Because that's insane. Plus, they kept diluting the anti-war part of it by being anti-corporate, anti-capitalist, anti-everything. And being annoying as anyone on the right could be.

Anyway, the music, for me, started with the Evens, which was pretty good. The only song I even knew the title of before the concert, let alone heard any songs, was Mt. Pleasant Isn't, which was good. Sounded a little like a more stripped down version of early Fugazi. Although you could say that it would be early White Stripes, and you wouldn't be too far off, but Amy Farina is a much better drummer than Meg White. Admittedly, that isn't too hard to be.

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists rocked the pants off the audience. They played Sons of Cain, a blistering version of Timorous Me, and finished with an amazing version of Ballad of a Sin Eater. Just a great performance. Too bad I can't remember more of the songs they played. They played quite a bit longer than I expected for the time. Too bad they were sandwiched between too earnest pinkos. Literally: I think Code Pink came out just before or after Ted Leo.

Head Rock was next, who started with an impressive acapella rap. Too bad the music itself wasn't what I like. After that was Thievery Corporation, which I didn't like either. Too bad. I feel like I lost some cool points. Or something like that. Maybe my hipster card will be revoked.

Lots of TV stuff

Rome 1.5, Curb Your Enthusiasm 5.1, Extras 1.1, Arrested Development 3.1 & 3.2. Well, Rome is definitely improving. Yay for that. Pullo rocks, and I'm even liking that whiny bitch Octavian. CYE is back, and hilarious. Strange not to be able to watch the next episode immediately. Extras was pretty good as well, uncomfortably so, just like The Office. Too bad it will encourage comparisons with that brilliant show. And no praise will ever be enough for Kate Winslet's performance. Utterly great.

Arrested Development may actually be dirtier than before. Especially that talk between Michael and Lindsay about the copy and the car. Just wow. The fact that this show may be the dirtiest show on TV, including cable and pay TV, is just a testamount to the complete worthlessness of censorship. Thankfully there isn't that much interest in it by Brent Bozell and those asswipes, so it can go pretty damn blue. And the chicken dances were great. And I can't wait until Scott Baio comes on as Bob Loblaw. I never thought I'd be waiting for Scott Baio to do anything other than die. But he may be the only person who can make up for the Fonz leaving for his show. Until that show gets cancelled. Because it looks like it sucks. And the paying actors who played lawyers to be around at trials was great. I love this show with a passion. So filled with insane humor. I never catch everything after one viewing. Insane.

Dark Star & Northanger Abbey

Dark Star was John Carpenter's first movie. I hate that the naked pictures were blurred. Very distracting. Plus, the alien thing that was obviously a beach ball was pretty distracting as well. I'm not entirely sure what was going on in the movie, especially the long-ass scene in the elevator shaft. It felt really stretched out to its short running time. And bizarre. Interesting special effects, and I'm a big fan of Bomb 20.

Northanger Abbey was the worst Jane Austen I've ever seen. Terrible. I've been assured that the BBC version of Persuasion was worse, but I'd have to see it to believe it, and I really don't want to do that. Bleh to the movie, the lead actress and her big nose and bugeyes. Plus, really, what the hell? I hate that Netflix made me think that the mvoie was from 2000 rather than from 1986, which was terrible. Argh. Plus, this is the only version of Northanger Abbey made. Maybe because it is her least typical book. But the BBC version sucked.

Shine

Shine was really good. And with an amazingly good soundtrack. Although Geoffrey Rush was definitely really effective in his performance, I actually preferred Noah Taylor's descent into madness. A lot less like an excuse to get an oscar. Armin Mueller-Stahl was also impressive. But Noah Taylor was my favorite part of the movie. Well, that and the Rachmaninoff. Which was really impressive. Scott Hicks isn't a great talent, but he clearly can make good movies, with this and Snow Falling on Cedars. May have to suck it up and watch Hearts in Atlantis. Or maybe not.

Comrades: Almost a Love Story, Rome 1.4, Gilmore Girls 6.1 & 6.2

Comrades: Almost a Love Story was really good, but the DVD sucked. No menu, and poor and sometimes missing subtitles. And I really wish that I had watched it with someone who knew either Mandarin or Cantonese, so that I could figure out which one was being spoken. I at least got a little help on the significance of the some of the dates in the movie. That being said, Maggie Cheung is one of the greatest actresses of all time. And is gorgeous. And will make me willing to see anything she's in. This movie not only had a great performance from her, but a restrained performance from Eric Tsang, who normally is a terrible over-actor, and a rare in front of camera appearance by Christopher Doyle, the greatest cinematographer working today. And possibly ever, but I'd have to check on that. I'd wanted to see it for a while, but I was moved to put it to the top of my queue by a friend who is currently in China, and I was suggesting she tutor English to make a little bit of cash on the side. Well, I first suggested prostitution, but that never really goes over well with her. And it certainly wouldn't go over well with the Chinese government. The English tutoring scenes were funny, and made me want to tell everyone "I go to hell. You go to hell. We go to hell." And then I realised that was ridiculous. The movie overly melodramatic, and generally something I'd hate if done by less skilled people. But it also had the sexiest double-coating ever. Ever. I defy you to find a sexier one than this. And you will fail.

Rome episode 4 had the first frontal male nudity I can recall in the series. Couldn't quite tell if he was circumcised or not, but that means there was a possibility he wasn't. Yay for possible historical accuracy. I am still enjoying the show, but I doubt that I can continue to write a few sentences about each episode. Lots of fun things in it (midget as Cato, Caesar's seizure, Caesar's pedophilia rumors, the graffiti which is clearly the best thing about the show), but really, if you aren't reading the TWOP forums for Rome, you're missing out on lots of the same stuff I'd be writing here. Well, with a little less happiness about naked men. Less happiness here. I can see myself naked whenever I want. Suffice it to say that I will write more when I feel like it, rather than when there's a new episode.

Gilmore Girls episodes 1 & 2 of the 6th season. Well, hmmm. Not nearly enough Paris or Kirk in the first two episodes, mainly because they were only in the first episode, and no Lane at all? Why is there any of Liz and TJ when there could be Lane? Seriously, something is wrong. I don't think there was any Logan in this episode either. So I can't completely complain. Plus, Lorelai with a dog was funny. How did he get the door locked?

The Hotel New Hampshire, Look Back in Anger, & A Matter of Life & Death

The Hotel New Hampshire was a complete mess. I haven't read the book, but I imagine it followed it very well, but turning an Irving novel into a less than two hour long movie can't be done. And that can only be done by taking out huge portions. The Hotel New Hampshire just was too episodic and was all about having all the plot points in it rather than any actual character development. Plus, comedic fast-motion never really works. I can't think of one time where I didn't cringe. The World According to Garp was successful due to the strength of characters, while the deliberate weirdness of Irving was easy enough to overcome. The Cider House Rules worked due to great acting and the fact that they took out the strangest character, making it a normal movie (well, except for the feel-good abortion movie of the year part of it). This movie, however, had the weirdness, had the obsession with sex, and didn't have anything remotely interesting to say about the characters or acting. Great cast, just didn't have a chance: Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Seth Green (I really didn't recognize him), Nastassja Kinski, Joely Richardson, Wallace Shawn, Matthew Modine, Wilford Brimley, and Amanda Plummer. What a waste.

Look Back in Anger is an interesting two-pack of Tony Richardson movies. Something I didn't really realise, but it did make sense, because I was just going through by director on Netflix. The first of the British "Angry Young Men" films... well, I don't know what to say. I am not sure how many others I've seen, but this was disappointing. It was one of those movies with a troubled lead and I just want to smack him upside the head. A complete jackass. I know that's the point, but man, I just wanted to hurt him. So damn frustrating. Acting may have been good, but when you're making an ass sympathetic, I just get annoyed. I've seen two other Richardson movies, Tom Jones and Blue Sky, both of which I enjoyed, so I think it's not a problem with him, I just hated Jimmy Porter as a person. Also weird to see a young Donald Pleasence. Never really changed.

A Matter of Life & Death is still one of my favorite movies of all times. And not just for the technical aspects, which are amazing, but for the entire trial scene, which has some great British-American antagonisms. Definitely a must watch for anyone who wants to know anything about movies. And the "bullet time" is impressive. When the hell is this going to be released on DVD? Well, at least in a good version. The Red Shoes, Black Narcissus, I Know Where I'm Going, The Life & Death of Colonel Blimp are all on Criterion Collection. And this movie is better than all of them. Come out on Criterion, damnit!

Desk Set

Desk Set was the penultimate Hepburn-Tracy pairing, and as such, was clearly the last one that would really allow Tracy to play the romantic lead. He clearly was too old for this movie, but the chemistry between Hepburn and Tracy never really went away. The scene on the rooftop was definitely enjoyable, as were a lot of the other Hepburn-Tracy scenes, and Dina Merrill looks pretty much like Grace Kelly, which is not a bad thing. The problem with the movie is that Tracy is given nothing to do, the romance is given short shrift, and the ending comes out of nowhere. It felt like there was an entire different movie hidden somewhere in there, but it was hidden behind a screenplay that decided to waste the talent of the cast. Plus, the utopian ideals of computers and no job loss was clearly a result of the IBM sponsorship. Plus, no computer could do half the things that that one did for many years after the movie. Took me out of it.

Fashion Rocks

I should have mentioned this earlier, like back around when I saw it last week, but I watched around 10 minutes of Fashion Rocks on CBS. Coincidentally, or fortuitously, those were the performances by David Bowie of Life on Mars and David Bowie and the Arcade Fire on Wake Up. Life on Mars may have been the best version of that song ever. Just great. I need that version. Now. Wake Up was pretty enjoyable, although I can't quite tell whether Bowie was messing up or just not singing loud enough to be heard over the joyous cacophony. And I'm also not sure about seeing Heather Graham grooving to it. Just seems wrong.

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, One Hour Photo, & Stardust Memories

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp was a movie I've been trying to watch for years. Ever since I first saw Stairway to Heaven, I've been watching as many of Powell and Pressburger's films as possible. And not one has disappointed me. I at first thought that I'd have a problem with the almost three hour running time. But it actually allows the characters to become realized fully, and just a great movie. Strange that it was released at all, since it is both anti-war and yet pro-anything it takes to win the war. That actually seems like a reasonable thing, at least in the case of World War II. Because that war needed to be won, and yet, war is a terrible thing. I also thought the interwar years were entertainingly disposed with. Definitely a must watch movie. And I didn't even mention how great Deborah Kerr was in it.

I've seen Vaughn's weewee. Ok, after that bit of immaturity, about the only things to recommend One Hour Photo is Robin Williams's best performance in years and that the movie felt like it was all about how you wait for a photo to be developed and then you get the excitement of opening the packet of prints and then it's all over. I'd expand more on it if I could stop thinking about how I've seen Vaughn's weewee. It's about the same as when I saw Jaye's hoohas in Tulse Luper. Always strange to see nudity of someone you're familiar with on TV. And this is coming from someone who is happy to rattle off gratuitous nudity. One Hour Photo's nudity was mainly necessary. The open bathrobe showing the carpet matching the drapes was not entirely needed. And I think I just made myself seem like I'm at least ten years younger than I am. Suck.

Stardust Memories was Allen's Fellini. Pretty damn obvious, with lots of visual references, along with whole scene references. Meaning that you'd probably enjoy it a lot less if you weren't familiar with 8 1/2. Or, for that matter, Allen's career until that point. I thought there were some great lines, and that's, unfortunately, almost all you can ask for in an Allen comedy. At least Stardust Memories wasn't as imponderable as Allen's Bergman films. It actually was enjoyable to watch.

Rome 1.3 & Unfaithfully Yours

Rome 1.3 was good. I'm enjoying the show, even if it isn't really all that historically accurate. But there are some nice touches, like Brutus's depiction of what would happen if Caesar became emperor. And Pullo giving Vorenus woman advice was pretty funny as well, and the planned suicides was funny in a sick way. I think it's clearly the worst hour-long thing I've seen HBO do. Still better than most other TV though. And I really enjoy the random bits of Latin knowledge that help out. Who knew that 6 years of Latin would help me know what the graffiti was on the walls of Atia's house? They were Atia loves all and Atia blows all. Yay for vulgarity! Note that Charles Jenney's Latin texts did not have the translation for fellat. I had to pick that one up on the streets.

Unfaithfully Yours was not nearly as good as I was hoping. Yes, it was dark, and yes, Rex Harrison was very good, but I just don't think I get the whole so jealous you consider murder part of it. Just seemed too far out there. It's a damn shame that it was one of Sturges's last films, because he made some of the greatest comedies of the 40s. Well, actually, this is only the fifth movie of his I've seen. But the other four are all classics. This was just a funny movie.

The Horse's Mouth & Daybreak Express

I don't know who said that The Horse's Mouth was a comedy, because it wasn't funny. It was, however, a bizarre tale of an artist who loves feet and painting walls. Strange film. Very strange.

Daybreak Express was also on the DVD, and was a neat little short by D.A. Pennebaker, with a pretty good song by Duke Ellington over shots of a train moving through New York. Nice camerawork, some pretty cool shots, and overall, a not bad way to spend your five or so minutes. The comments by Pennebaker about it were also sort of neat, because he said that he made a bit of money on it only when it was finally released for the opening of The Horse's Mouth. And that they played for a while to packed houses. I'm not sure what to think of people who would see The Horse's Mouth more than once. I really don't know.

The Constant Gardener, Confidentially Yours, and iPod update

The Constant Gardener gave me a headache. Too much handheld camera and too many jerky camera movements. That being said, Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz, and Bill Nighy were all outstanding, and I expect the first two to get at least Oscar nods. The story was a little too anti-drug company, as what they actually do is evil enough. Really, a great movie, and I probably would have loved it almost reservedly had I seen it on a smaller screen.

Confidentially Yours was mediocre Hitchcock-film noir movie from Truffaut. Fanny Ardant was interesting, but the movie was needlessly complicated, and the big twists came out of nowhere. The black and white camerawork was pretty good, though.

I didn't mention, but I tripped and broke my iPod a week and a half ago. Three days after getting the replacement iPod, I break the new one. And since it was my fault, it wasn't covered by the limited warranty. I have a new 60 GB iPod. I like the color screen. I've been adding cover art to my collection. I couldn't live without an iPod. The same day I got the iPod, I donated to the Red Cross for Katrina recovery. I did this on Thursday. I reacted faster than the federal government.

Curb Your Enthusiasm seasons 3 & 4

Curb Your Enthusiasm season 3 topped season 2, especially in the brilliant season long arc. Nothing may ever top the end of the season, with the brilliant use of cursing. Brilliant. The funniest scene of the entire show. Maybe ever broadcast on HBO. I loved Michael York's forced cursing, and the tall white guy's light stuff until the end... I could go on and on. And the rest of the season wasn't too bad either. I didn't entirely care for the Special Section, but it was only weak when compared to the Terrorist Attack, Krazee-Eyez Killa, The Nanny from Hell (may have ruined the Looney Tunes theme forever), Club Soda & Salt, and the Grand Opening. It's also better than the first season, which didn't really have the continuing storyline that pulled 2, 3, and 4 together.

Speaking of season 4, hilarious. About the same level as three. The supporting cast really was outstanding, with Ben Stiller and David Schwimmer being standouts. And if I knew who came up with the idea for the Blind Date, I'd have to... oh, yeah, it's all Larry David, and I already worship at his altar of comedy. I'd have to name every episode as great. Especially... every episode. The dog biting, the medical marijuana, the Everlast, the Survivor, and the hex. So many great bits. And it reminds me that I need to see The Producers again. Both the movie and the musical. Mel and Anne in the bar was great.

That's Entertainment & Rome 1.2

That's Entertainment was overlong, and suffers from a lot of boring scenes, plus, the great scenes are sometimes cut short or have narration over them. Plus, really, why must we be forced to see Clark Gable sing and dance? I know it was played for laughs, but it was plain bad. Even when the great scenes are left as they are, they suffer from lack of context. Singing in the Rain, Make 'em Laugh, the great dancer numbers by Astaire, Kelly, and the like all would work better in the movies they're originally from.

The second episode of Rome seems to be pushing the historical accuracy farther into the past. It works better as drama than as history. Probably would be better if it spent more time and didn't try to cover so much. I mean, civil war after two episodes? It better go slower and more character and less plot in each episode, or else it will be a failure. Still lots of nudity though. Brain surgery sucks, by the way, but Roman brain surgery really sucks.

The Medallion & Shark Tale

The Medallion was Jackie Chan at a pretty bland point. The main problem was that there was way too many really obvious wire work. It seemed like there were only about five bits with Jackie doing his stunts. Way too many flying through the air. After the first time of "What the hell, Jackie?" I just gave up on the movie being anything particularly good. Lee Evans was pretty wasted in the movie, and his wife, the extremely hot Christy Chung, never really had anything at all to do. Julian Sands should go back to flashing his penis in period pieces as well. What was Gimli doing? How can you misuse a great actor like Anthony Wong in that way? Claire Forlani again proves that just because you're attractive doesn't mean you can act. And man, that accent sounded fake, even though she's English. Maybe she can do an American accent well.

Shark Tale was typical Dreamworks Animation crap. If they could do half the heart that Pixar is able to put into their movies, and pair that with a third of the references to other entertainment and product placements, then they might actually make a good movie. Their animation is weaker than Pixar's, but that can be ignored if they would attempt to make a movie rather than an excuse for a lead to suck for an hour and a half. And they wasted Angelina Jolie and Jack Black. Jack was terrible in this. I'm pretty sure it was the script. Really, just a waste of money. No wonder Dreamworks Animation is tanking of late. Well, mainly because they haven't yet made a good movie, but I expect that to change in around a month with the release of the new Wallace & Gromit picture. Because really, Nick Park can do no wrong. Too bad you can't say that for Dreamworks Animation.

Sunset Blvd. & iPod!

You know, with all my love for movies, and that I showed a Billy Wilder series back in college, why had I never seen Sunset Blvd.? Well, I fixed that gross oversight. I'm sorry, Bacchus, if you forgive me this, I will sacrifice 6 pigeons to appease you. Or maybe it should be Mercury based on the industry now...

See that's the sort of obscure reference I'm happy with even if no one ever gets that.

I also got my new old iPod today. It also may have been the last time I saw one of my former coworkers. I'm sad about that, but iPod! I've been missing you so much since it failed on the 5th. Almost four weeks without an iPod was insane. I had to read the paper! Argh! Actually, it wasn't that bad, but I did miss it terribly. I just need to work on not getting any more music or else I'll have to cut back again on what I can put on it. Or maybe I should have tried to see if I could trade in my iPod for a 60 gig one. Anyway, 3 cheers for Apple! ip-ip-iPod!

Senatus Pubulusque Romanus

Ok, well, after doing a little bit of research (thank god for Google and the TWOP forums), it seems that the ancient Egyptians were clean shaven down there, and that the Romans were also aware of how to shave and how to use various sugars or other substances to a way to shape the pubes. So it's possible that that's why they're fairly shaved. And there's the whole big thing about those strigils that were used to clean the oil off bodies to clean them, since they had no soap. That probably took a lot of hair off someone, even if that wasn't the original plan. And who's to say that women didn't get the same treatment? Maybe Romans were ahead of their time. Because I bet that few women in the Dark Ages were clean-shaven. Probably why they called it the Dark Ages.

I'm sure someone at the show thought of this already (I mean, it's not like they went to that much effort to get the rest of the show right and then miss the thing that would be focused on more than almost anything else in the show, right?), so maybe I'm putting too much thought into this. I guess the real test will be when they start on the full frontal male nudity. Unless they've all decided to go Jewish.

Sopranos season 4 & Rome 1.1

With HBO finally finished with the 4th season repeats, I can comment that the show never really lost it. I think the extended periods between production, my love for The Wire (the new season needs to come out soon, and I need to see the 3rd season so much), and the fact that I hadn't seen the show since college, I think I just sort of put it back behind a few other shows. We can all thank the Soprano clan for being responsible for the resurgence of HBO as a place for great original programming. Not that the Larry Sanders Show or Mr. Show weren't great, but they also put out a bunch of crap (Dream On?). Since the Sopranos, they've been putting out brilliant stuff almost without fail. I think I had this season spoiled for me, a little, as I knew what the end of season 4 was going to be, but I liked how it got there, and I didn't know about what most of the middle was going to be. Looking forward to the 5th season. Oh, wait, they're moving the 5th season repeats to the same time period as Gilmore Girls. Damnit all to hell. I get two weeks of season 5 goodness before I have to switch to Gilmore Girls. Really, damnit all.

I think part of the reason for the move was so that they could repeat the first episode of Rome before the second episode next week. As someone who will give almost anything HBO produces at least one try, I watched the first one. And the thing that bothers me about the show was that I am not sure about the whole women shaving their pubic hair thing. Now, I had a whole big rant about why pubes are not only unneccessary, but also annoying, on my last blog, but just accept that I'm anti-pubes. So, I have to say that I am surprised that apparently Roman women also don't like a lot of hair down there. There are a lot of other good things about the show, so I won't hold that against them. It's like watching a period piece and seeing obviously fake breasts. I'm anti-fake breasts as well. I'm pretty sure this whole silicone breasts thing started a little after, say, Rome stopped being the center of the universe. No matter how insane the Pope is, Rome hasn't been the center of the universe since around 476. And really, as a history buff, I'd even say that it wasn't the center of the universe after 330, when Constantine made Constantinople the capital of the Roman Empire. And that's ignoring the entire non-European world. I'll be Eurocentric for the purposes of this argument. I will continue to watch the show, as I like it.

Simpsons season 6, Undeclared, & Curb Your Enthusiasm season 2

I'm going to stick a bunch of TV stuff in one post, because I've been putting it off for a little while.

The Simpsons Season 6 was probably the last season where there were classic episodes all the way through. Well, that isn't entirely true, because there were some clunkers in this season (Fear of Flying, Bart vs. Australia, Homer vs. Patty & Selma, Lisa's Wedding, 'Round Springfield) and there were many classics in the 7th season (including my second favorite episode of all time Lisa the Vegetarian), but the quality clearly started to fall in season 6. And I really don't like the "special" packaging for the DVDs. Why couldn't they just stick with the old packaging? I know I can send off for the old version, but I'm really lazy.

Undeclared was one in a string of shows screwed by Fox. A looooong string of shows. They've pretty much only not screwed one good show in the last ten or so years, and that's Arrested Development. Yay for the third season coming up soon! Anyway, Undeclared was screwed over for Andy Richter Controls the Universe, which was screwed over in turn. It was never as good as Freaks and Geeks, but really, few shows ever came close to that show. I really wish that it had lasted longer than it did. More Seth Rogen is always appreciated. And now that I've seen it in the actual order (not the order it was shown on Fox or on the DVD (how could they screw that up, really?)), it actually works. And is hilarious. Very hilarious. I have this feeling I may not have actually seen all of these episodes, although I was pretty sure I had. Maybe the crazy scheduling kept me from watching them all. Anyway, I heartily recommend it, especially if you go online and get the corrected episode order.

Season 2 of Curb Your Enthusiasm was pretty funny. Not as sure about the main plot thread, which I didn't entirely care for, until the end payoff. That was hilarious. And Shaq was great. Made me almost forget Kazaam and Steel. And then I remembered them and laughed for about five minutes. Yay for Shaq being a terrible actor. It's a great show, and I am looking forward both to the next seasons coming to me as soon as possible.

The Terminal

The Terminal is typically "crowd-pleasing" Spielberg. With a healthy dose of missing-father-itis. Plus, it's really way too long. And I'd say it was unbelievable, but I want to be specific in that everything that happens to him except for being stuck there is unrealistic. Plus, the timeline really is confusing. Sigh. Spielberg... work on making better movies that don't drag on too long and aren't all about father issues. Yeah, that'll never happen.

Breaking Point & The Grudge

Breaking Point was Bo Arne Vibenius's follow up to Thriller (or They Call Her One Eye or a few different other things). More pornographic and with a worse narrative, it is amazingly more misogynistic. There's a reason why he pretty much never worked again. Terrible movie. And why did he need to have characters to say that 89% of women want to be raped? Just seems really wrong. Did someone just sample women who are in abusive relationships or something? Who did that survey? Seems like he pulled that number out of his ass as a way to make it less offensive that the main character rapes and kills his way through the movie. And why did he need to shoot at the cops? And why did the victim who fought back put her clothes back on before running away after stabbing him? Really, if you're being raped and you start fighting back, wouldn't you stab him more than once and wouldn't you then try to get away as soon as possible? Plus, I kept getting the feeling that the movie was just a figment of the guy's imagination. Or maybe it was because the movie was so disjointed, the dream sequence at the end, the male fantasy aspect of the entire movie, the various justifications for his actions, and of course, the fact that it was a Swedish film and it was dubbed in English. Poorly. However, it is actually a fairly well made movie, which makes it all the more disturbing. However, while I can argue that Thriller is an interesting film and should be seen, it's much harder to argue to see this movie, as the hardcore pornography is not limited to some insert shots, and is just less interesting. At least it's short.

The Grudge is strangely better than the original Japanese film. I didn't think that would happen. But the Hollywoodization makes it make a little more sense. Less really confusing plot points. I'm a little surprised by that. Although really, when the first movie made no sense at all and worked, to the extent it did, only due to visuals and the tone, just grafting a plot onto the mess would make it better. And they grafted a plot, kept the creepy visuals (even if they're mainly a rip-off of Ringu (just like the original Ju-On)), and made it a slightly better movie. Knowing exactly what was going to happen didn't change much. At some point I may have to watch the second one, although that will again probably be when it comes out on something where all I have to spend is my time.