The Last Hayride & random TV notes

The Last Hayride is a book about Edwin Edwards's 1983 campaign for governor in Louisiana. He had first been elected in 1971, re-elected in 75, and since he couldn't run in 79, he basically set everything up for his successor, a technocrat Republican named Dave Treen, to fail so he could win. Edwards was a liar, a womanizer (he is the origin of "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."), and it's not entirely clear that he was all that good of a governor. However, he made for a fascinating book. John Maginnis does a fairly good job being in the right place at the right time, although towards the end of the campaign, he starts to complain about being there. But his history of Louisiana and the politics explain a good deal that I didn't really know about why they have the strange electoral structure they do (Edwards put it in place to try to kill off the Republican Party there, but, in effect, revitalized it). Quite an interesting book.

The Middleman DVD is great. Epitaph One, the unaired Dollhouse episode, really makes me wonder where the hell the show is going. Seriously, that is a terrifying future. Torchwood: Children of Earth also kinda leaves me wondering where the hell the show is going to go after that. The Doctor Who specials (the Christmas one and the Easter one) were really good. Hung is kind of a mess, but I haven't yet gotten too pissed at it (and it's one of those shows that kinda can't show the penis and I can't complain about the inequality of the nudity since the penis is all things to all women). True Blood is either more enjoyable this season, or my expectations are so low, that I've been enjoying it. Hard Knocks: The Cincinnati Bengals is pretty good, although I hate Mike Brown even more after watching it, and I like Chad Ochocinco more. Shaq Vs. really is about 25 minutes of filler, 20 minutes of commercials, and 15 minutes of Shaq being extremely personable. Should be enjoyable for the next few episodes. Nova Science Now is the most enjoyable and fascinating science show ever made. Neil deGrasse Tyson really needs to be on TV more often.

I'm Not There, Nanking, Breakin', & Fat Man and Little Boy

I'm Not There was a mess. Good ideas, lots of talent (Todd Haynes needs to make more movies), and I am a big Dylan fan, but the artifice just kept dragging me out of being involved in the movie. And Richard Gere's section was just a mess. Cate Blanchett was great though, and it's hard to hate too much on it, but I just should've rewatched No Direction Home.

Nanking is a depressing film about the Japanese raping and pillaging their way through what was a huge city in China in 1937. Hundreds of thousands were murdered (including some decapitations), tens of thousands of women raped, and children were bayonetted for no real reason. Seriously, fuck all those people who claim that Nanking didn't happen or that it was exaggerated. They're just as insane as Holocaust revisionists. Denying that massacres happened when there's photographic and firsthand evidence is just insane. Japanese nationalists are some of the worst, denying so many things that there's so much evidence for. The movie's use of famous actors was slightly distracting at first, but I quickly became more and more involved and fascinated by the story. If you aren't a Japanese fascist, you'll find this movie horrifying and a must watch.

Breakin' is terrible. The acting, directing, writing, and everything about it is bad. It also, frequently, suffers from the worst thing that a movie can do: quick cutting, hiding the actual talent of those on display. Also, why use a broom on a wire? Everything else is kinda possible. Joe Piscopo? Maybe you should get a suit that remotely fits you. Ugh. Here's the thing about this movie: big plot points are dependent upon being able to tell who won a dance-off, but I couldn't tell who was winning at any point, and the only way I knew the second one was over was because I was trying to pay attention to Ice-T rap talking in the background, narrating the fight. The movie is a horrible mess, about what you'd expect of a movie produced by the writer-director of The Apple. Still, I have to watch Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. It's on the DVR!

Fat Man and Little Boy has a great cast and tells an interesting story. Roland Joffe is one of those names I'm familiar with and respect the guy, but honestly, looking at his IMDB listing, I see: an uncredited turn on Super Mario Brothers, The Scarlet Letter, an episode of Undressed(?!?), the disappointing Vatel (which I saw less than a month before I restarted blogging), the unseen by me (but well-reviewed) The Mission, and the excellent The Killing Fields. So I get this feeling that I have a positive impression of him based entirely upon how good The Killing Fields is, and conveniently forget about how execrable The Scarlet Letter was. I liked it, but it kinda dragged on a little long.

Woman in the Dunes, Flash Point, Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan, & Lost in Beijing

Woman in the Dunes is a metaphorical tale of a teacher who is tricked into living in a house surrounded by sand dunes. It's bizarre and touching, erotic and terrifying, and extremely well-made. Held up to my expectations.

Flash Point is ridiculous. Action scenes... man, I barely remember anything about it. I barely remembered anything about right after I saw it. I remember some of the fight scenes, the one in the driving range, the surprisingly brutal stabbing in the parking garage, and the pretty superb (although completely unbelievable) final fight scene. But the plot? Utterly nonsensical. Not helping: I couldn't tell the bad guys apart.

Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan is not a porno film. It's a Shaw Brothers kung fu film, that just happens to have an evil lesbian who runs a brothel, kidnaps a young innocent girl, has many men rape her, and that woman then comes back and starts killing everyone involved, usually with sex. So, um, the fact that there's actually very little nudity, and most of it is played for laughs isn't going to make me seem any less dirty for adding this to my queue is it? I mean, it's not horrible, by any stretch of the imagination, and the English title just makes it seem much dirtier than it is. It's a fairly standard revenge film, but with kung fu. How can that not be watchable, at least?

Lost in Beijing is a look at how capitalism has destroyed the well-meaning Chinese working man. Basically, money corrupts people. Of course. Somehow, this movie got banned and the producers were banned from filmmaking for two years. Seriously, it's about the problems of capitalism. Reminded me of Blind Shaft, as there was also nudity here. No one in this movie comes out looking all that good. Tony Leung Ka Fei (the not as good Tony Leung) is suitably despicable as the owner of a massage parlor and rapist who starts all this corrupt stuff in motion. I, personally, though, hate the younger husband even more. Tony Leung was always a scumbag, but the husband was worse. The movie itself was very good, and does everything that I think the writers and directors wanted.

Blast of Silence, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Easy Living, & Wallander

Blast of Silence is a short little film noir, made in the early 60s, and released by Criterion. As a fan of film noir, and reading the mostly positive reviews back when Criterion released it, I wanted to know how it would be. The writer-director-star moved in the same circles as Peter Falk, and he was going to star in this had he not gotten a paying role. I kinda wish it had been made with Falk. The acting in this is amateurish and could have used a stronger central performance to bring a little bit of range to the film. It's a good plot, and certainly could have been better with a little more. Also, the narration was overbearing. Still, I kinda liked it.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead has talent in it and behind the camera (and Marisa Tomei naked), but it's just a depressing film and I never really liked it. I think I'm less willing to give any credit to films that have good people involved and disappoint than films that I never have any hopes for. Just an overall eh film.

Easy Living is an early Preston Sturges screwball comedy script, about a young office worker who gets hit by an expensive fur when a rich banker tosses it off a building. A series of comedic scenes follow, leading to silly scenes of mistaken identity and the like. It's pretty funny, but not up to Sturges's directorial efforts.

Wallander is based on a series of Swedish mystery novels, set in Ystad, southeast of Malmo. There have been a series of Swedish movies based on the books, but this was a new series of adaptations by the BBC with Kenneth Branagh as Wallander, the drunk detective. He is, as you would expect, excellent, and the movies just made me feel like I was watching Insomnia (but without the actual insomnia). I am really looking forward to see if they would make another series of it, but it all depends on whether Branagh can do Thor and still work on other stuff.

Los Campesinos! at 9:30 Club 8/5

I hadn't seen them before, and in fact, was introduced to them at around the same time I was introduced to the Wombats (who, I must admit, I still kinda prefer) by MBG and they were Quite Good and worth listening to. But I heard they were playing, and Ms. Albright bought me a ticket after her ticket was purchased by her friend). So I was going, and it was an early show on a weekday (YAY!). We skipped the openers, who may or may not have been good (one of the guitarists from The Farmers! was wearing a shirt from Girls. Anyway, we did the "hipster" thing and showed up about ten minutes before the main show started, but MBG just kept driving by parking spots, so we got in there about two minutes before Los Campesinos! went on.

We were pretty far back, which was nice, because they were very loud. Quite good, although their new couple of songs kinda dragged the middle of the set a little. And they didn't play Don't Tell Me To Do the Math(s), possibly my favorite of their songs. Still, when they started the big buildup and then broke into the one two punch of Box Elder (quite an excellent version of it, maybe even bettering Pavement's original) and You! Me! Dancing! (the song that competes with Math(s) for best Los Campesinos! track), the set finished out very well with a few more strong songs. As I'm not familiar with most of their stuff I can't say what else was played, but Sweet Dreams Sweet Cheeks, This Is How You Spell "HAHAHA, We Destroyed the Hopes & Dreams of a Generation of Faux-Romantics", My Year in Lists, and The International Tweexcore Underground were all very awesome. Gareth and one of the guitarists ended up in the crowd during the last couple songs and the encore, and just seemed to love playing. Stage banter was alternately hilarious and completely indecipherable (I enjoyed their joke about what an honor it was to open for Asher Roth). Basically, a great show.

But it's now time for the return of Douchebag(s) of the Concert! The four (or more, I never turned around to see all of them at once) people behind us. They wouldn't stop talking, sang out of tune and out of time to songs including starting singing well before the actual singing started multiple times, sang instrument parts like "beep beep beep", spilled a beer right behind us so my feet were sticking to the ground for most of the set, knocked into all of us multiple times, gave me a nasty look when I was saving a space for Ms. Albright and her friend and they tried to move into that space and I stopped them, made me write a run-on clause, and, most unforgivably, seemed genuinely excited when Gareth started making fun of the US for giving the world shit like Asher Roth and they thought that Asher Roth was going to come out and play his song or that Los Campesinos! would cover I Love College. So you win, Douchebags.

After the set, which went about 75 minutes long with a one song encore, we left and walked back to the car, and noticed a line. A long line. A line around the block. For Asher Roth. I am sorry for all those people at the 9:30 Club who had to deal with that crowd. In case, I'm not being clear enough, Asher Roth is a terrible, terrible person. And his fans are all bad people as well. The one good thing that he has ever done, from what I can tell, is for Los Campesinos! to be an early concert so I could be home by 10:20.

Run for Cover at Black Cat 8/1

Since none of these bands will ever play again in the forms that they did on this night, it's kinda hard to write a lot about their musicianship or anything like that. So just quick comments on the bands I saw.

The Cherry Bombs (The Runaways/Joan Jett/Lita Ford) had the best line in the night: after playing Cherry Bomb, the one Runaways song that anyone knows, "Lita Ford" said they were only going to play their hits, and then no one else in the band seemed to know what to play next so they had to pass it off to "Joan Jett" to play some of her songs. Fairly accurate representation, but nothing all too special.

Bad Medicine (Bon Jovi) was awesome. Extremely tight set, played the hits, and their Bon Jovi was outstanding. I was able to sing along to every single word of the set. Ms. Albright was disturbed (and possibly disgusted) by my ability to sing along. If I actually liked Bon Jovi, it might have been the set of the night, but the crowd was very into it.

Blonde on Blonde (Blondie) had a "Blondie" who couldn't sing the songs. Sorry. You almost were able to do Call Me, but nope.

Guided by Vices (Guided by Voices) was accurate to the actual band, but were just a drunken mess. Played some of the best GBV songs of the mid-period, but didn't play Kicker of Elves, for which I am (probably inordinately) naming them the worst band I saw, by far.

The Fly Bys (Top Gun) kinda broke the mold as it was more of a skit rather than music. And the music was shite. I hate Top Gun. It is a terrible film and the music is terrible. So screw you guys for getting Take My Breath Away in my head from now until I get something better in my head. Also, your "skits" weren't funny. And you took too long. But you get points for costuming.

Five Imaginary Boys (The Cure) went on too long. It was almost 1 am, and both Ms. Albright and I were exhausted. Also, Lovesong is just eh. You went on too long. And you brought nothing to the songs. Your lead singer did look slightly like Robert Smith, but that was it. Had it not been the Cure, you might have met Guided by Vices at the bottom.

And then finally, the band I went to see (although I knew someone in Bon Jovi as well): Geezer (Weezer as done by old people). My roommate was the lead singer (so I'm biased again). Look, maybe I just love Weezer more than the other bands, but they really were the best. Great costumes, the old people talking in place of the talky bits of Undone were funny, El Scorcho is a fun song to sing (too bad the music isn't all that fun, otherwise I'd do it Rock Band all the time), The Good Life was a perfect choice, and Surf-Wax America was a great set-ender.

Legend of the Black Scorpion, Zebraman, & Nightmare Detective

Nightmare Detective just reminded me of better films about people going into other people's dreams to solve crimes. Wait... honestly, there aren't any good live-action films about that (Paprika is the only one of which I can think). This doesn't break that trend. It should be an acceptable film, but it was filmed far too darkly and it just gets utterly ridiculous well before the end.

Zebraman is a goofy Miike film, ostensibly about a father who is obsessed with an old TV show, and he starts dressing up as the main character and save the world. And it's a family film. So the wife having an affair, the daughter having lots of sex, the son gets bullied at the school where he substitute teaches. Of course. It's utterly ridiculous that it's somehow viewed as a family film, but then again, most of the rest of the world isn't as prudish as we are.

Legend of the Black Scorpion is an adaptation of Hamlet. And pretty much all I could think was that it was pretty, but as an adaptation, it's a boring mess. Overlong and nowhere near as good as most adaptations (of either Hamlet, or from other East Asian Shakespeare adaptations, like Throne of Blood and Ran). Not all that much to say. Reviews were positive, from what I remember, but I need to stop just watching anything with Zhang Ziyi in it.

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With, Kiltro, & Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With not only has a grammatically incorrect title, it isn't very funny, and is basically bad. I like Jeff Garlin, but I didn't enjoy watching it at all.

Kiltro is a trashy Chilean action film. Problem is the movie doesn't spend all that much time being an action film. And there's a midget. But mainly, it's full of too quick cuts, bad CGI blood spurts, and poorly choreographed fight scenes. I have to stop adding films just because someone on the internet says it's a cool action film. Barghle.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story feels like it was just ticking off the biographies of musicians and then trying to have the characters be naive and explaining everything. This leads to "humor". The only thing I found funny was the recurring joke with Tim Meadows and drugs. Other "jokes" ranged from unfunny to extremely stupid. But it just wasn't worth watching.

Charlie Wilson's War, Teeth, & National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Charlie Wilson's War depresses me, because it's basically making me root for the mujaheddin. Maybe if they hadn't frickin' pulled out the troops in 2002 and 2003 for Iraq, we wouldn't still have be there. Damnit. Of course, they did note the dangers of the war and the being unwilling to help build it back up afterward. Which, amazingly, we seem to like "fucking up the end game" as Charlie Wilson said. Mike Nichols and Aaron Sorkin do a fine job with the film. Really, it's a frustrating film, but for nothing except my political issues with it.

Teeth is utterly ridiculous. Basically, it's extremely unsubtle, but it's a film about explicit vagina dentata. You don't really see too many films that are explicit in it. There are quite a few severed penii. Well, three. And there's just so much I can take. But I gotta love any film that punishes people for having pre-marital sex for bad reasons. Raping, having sex for money, and being creepy are all more than enough reasons to cut off penii. The dog being named Mother, though, that may have been the crowning touch to the ridiculousness. Of course, the movie is not something that you can watch without cringing horribly, either for the newly depenistrated men or for Dawn's shocked reactions to having just cut off a penis (or fingers). The first couple times.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets is goofy. I enjoyed the first one quite a bit. This one is more ridiculous, and even less based in reality. But Nic Cage, Ed Harris, et al. were lots of fun. Not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but I enjoyed it.