Primary Colors & The City of Lost Souls

Primary Colors is a very cynical film. Beh. And I guess it's sort of a very sensationalized version of Clinton, or something. Too bad it goes so far over the top by the end that I just thought, "This is crap, and Joe Klein can suck it. Hard. In the private office of the President." Too bad that George Bush doesn't have the conscience to deal with his coke use and gay past, unlike Picker. I guess the movie was well made, but it was such junk that I didn't really care. And it's also too bad that Allison Janney didn't get a bigger role, but at least she did get the role as C.J. because of this.

The City of Lost Souls has a CGI kung-fu cockfight. That spoofs The Matrix. Plus it has the gorgeous Michelle Reis. Is there any reason not to like this movie? Maybe its incredible focus on defecation. Except there's Michelle Reis turning vodka and a lighter into a flamethrower. Which is hot. In both senses. But at least it's a pro-immigration and getting along with those who are different movie. Maybe Tom Tancredo should watch it. Although he'd probably give up after the shot of the main actor's ass very early on, since it's a very nice ass. He'd probably think he was going gay. And the violence. He'd be all turned on by the violence since it's all brown on yellow and yellow on yellow violence. And we know he's all about there being fewer whites to pollute his precious bodily fluids. Well, I shouldn't just limit this to him, it's also Inhofe and a lot of other crazy friggin' Republicans and (to a much lesser extent) Democrats. Anyway, it's fairly typical Miike, well, that's not entirely true, it's a fairly typical restrained Miike. There's craziness, like there always is, but it's not so overwhelming like a lot of his films are. And it's all about Brazilians in Japan, some of whom wear Brazilian jerseys, so it's a very appropriate movie to start the World Cup season with. Inadvertently. Had I wanted a soccer movie, I'd have gone with Victory, which sucks because they cripple Pele. Or Shaolin Soccer, which I have already seen as well. Or Trainspotting, but that's getting a little obscure on the soccer references, even if they play soccer and a porn tape in a soccer video case is a plot point. At least I didn't mention Bend It like Beckham or Kicking & Screaming. Eesh. I think I'll stop doing this now. Oh, wait, one more: Just for Kicks, the worst movie according to the IMDB with soccer in it. It has Tom Arnold and Cole & Dylan Sprouse (the male version of the Olsen twins (I'm not sure there are any Sprouse countdown clocks though)), is written and directed by someone named Sydney J. Bartholomew Jr. who hasn't worked since, but was a production designer on a bunch of Farrelly brothers movies, and the "visual consultant" on the visually stunning There's Something about Mary. Anyway, I keep getting away from discussing the movie. There's ping pong, though. And the ultimate in final statements. Or at least I think it was... the DVD I got was so scratched it wouldn't play on one of my DVD players, and stopped on my backup with about five minutes to go. And then it just wouldn't play. So I think I got it all.