Caseus Archivelox: Naked States & Virtual Sexuality

2001-12-14 - 12:06 a.m.
I feel sort of guilty about taping over "Body Heat" with "Naked States" though. Ugh, don't watch "Naked States" anyone. It's horrible. You may be attracted by the fact that it's about a guy who goes around taking pictures of nude people, but at 73 minutes long, I felt it was waaaaaaaaay too long. It could have been about five minutes long. And that probably would have been too long. The guy was just not interesting. If people want to see nudity, I recommend "Virtual Sexuality" a British teen-comedy, with lots and lots and lots of male full frontal nudity. So much that they had to put red x's on top of the penii so that it didn't get an NC-17 rating. Not that a lot of flaccid far off (insert penis euphemism that begins with f) should be enough to get an NC-17, but god forbid, people know what the male and female anatomy look like, because there was no sex at all in the movie. Was it a good movie? Not by a long shot, but it was fairly interesting to know that Hollywood isn't the only one marketing tripe to teenagers that just isn't appropriate for them. I like to refer to this movie as "Disney with dicks", as it's just like a Disney movie, with stupid morals and flat characters, but with a ridiculously dirty mind, but I really haven't referred to this movie in any other place, or to any other people, because I seem to have given some people the impression that I'm only about nudity, when I don't even like being nude in my room alone. I just find nudity interesting when included in movies as an attempt to increase the money the movie makes, but in this movie, I include it totally in the "Gratuitous Nudity" hall of fame, not so much because it wasn't needed for the plot, but I can't figure out why the hell the movie was made in the first place.