1/26/2009

Caseus Archivelox: Flirting

2001-12-31 - 5:58 p.m.
This afternoon I saw a movie I had really enjoyed the first time I saw it: "Flirting" a 1991 film with Noah Taylor (from both "Almost Famous" (the manager) and "Tomb Raider" (does it matter? I can't remember who any of them are)), Nicole Kidman (better than in that crappy movie that people keep putting on their best of the year lists, even one that says "10) "Moulin Rouge" Somebody needs to get Baz Luhrmann out of the editing room. Somebody needs to tell him that it's insane to set up one visually encrusted shot after another and then not give us time to drink it in. But like his previous film, "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet," this whacked-out musical annoyed the hell out of me and then stayed in my head for weeks. No other movie this year believes in its own wackiness the way "Moulin Rouge" does, and that gives it the courage of its heart-on-the-sleeve convictions. You could say Luhrmann's gargantuan production design is a way of disguising the simple story at its core, except that it never obscures the charm of Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman, or keeps their tale of doomed love from getting to us. The most disciplined of undisciplined moviemakers, Luhrmann has made something like a speed freak's version of grand opera." I almost agree with it, except where it says that Luhrmann's style never gets in the way of the story), Thandie Newton (one reason why I thought MI:2 could have been good, but was sorely disappointed), and another girl I recognized this time around, Naomi Watts.
The only problem with it was that it was on WE so it was edited. Some sort of jumpy scenes.
Beh.

Caseus Archivelox: Naked States & Virtual Sexuality

2001-12-14 - 12:06 a.m.
I feel sort of guilty about taping over "Body Heat" with "Naked States" though. Ugh, don't watch "Naked States" anyone. It's horrible. You may be attracted by the fact that it's about a guy who goes around taking pictures of nude people, but at 73 minutes long, I felt it was waaaaaaaaay too long. It could have been about five minutes long. And that probably would have been too long. The guy was just not interesting. If people want to see nudity, I recommend "Virtual Sexuality" a British teen-comedy, with lots and lots and lots of male full frontal nudity. So much that they had to put red x's on top of the penii so that it didn't get an NC-17 rating. Not that a lot of flaccid far off (insert penis euphemism that begins with f) should be enough to get an NC-17, but god forbid, people know what the male and female anatomy look like, because there was no sex at all in the movie. Was it a good movie? Not by a long shot, but it was fairly interesting to know that Hollywood isn't the only one marketing tripe to teenagers that just isn't appropriate for them. I like to refer to this movie as "Disney with dicks", as it's just like a Disney movie, with stupid morals and flat characters, but with a ridiculously dirty mind, but I really haven't referred to this movie in any other place, or to any other people, because I seem to have given some people the impression that I'm only about nudity, when I don't even like being nude in my room alone. I just find nudity interesting when included in movies as an attempt to increase the money the movie makes, but in this movie, I include it totally in the "Gratuitous Nudity" hall of fame, not so much because it wasn't needed for the plot, but I can't figure out why the hell the movie was made in the first place.

Caseus Archivelox: Night of the Comet & Return of the Living Dead

2001-12-08 - 11:19 a.m.
Well, anyway, I wanted to say a little about the movies last night, for those of you who haven't seen it, see "Night of the Comet" as soon as possible. Very, very funny movie, with some great 80s stuff and an interesting line about the last guy on earth not coming on to a woman, so he was either a gentleman or gay. "Return of the Living Dead" was strangely unsatisfying, although the midget zombie was still very funny, and I am a big fan of cataloging the most gratuitous nudity in film, and one character just decides to dance totally nude on a grave, and then proceeds to be completely nude (except for legwarmers, as this is the 1980s) for the rest of the movie. Just sort of not worth it.

Caseus Archivelox: The Quick and the Dead

2001-12-02 - 1:54 a.m.
Another thing, don't start to watch a movie at 1:30 in the morning, even if you like the director and have seen it before, because more often than not, you'll hate the star and wish that someone with talent had been cast in that role, so that the movie wouldn't have been so supreme a disappointment. For this one, it was "The Quick and the Dead". I hadn't seen it in a couple years, and I still think that Sharon Stone is a horrible actress. There is probably a link between seeing someone's whisker biscuit and lack of respect for their acting talents. Although I still respect Jenny Agutter, because she at least has picked some great movies to be in ("Walkabout" and "American Werewolf in London"). Maybe that theory just refers to Sharon Stone. Anyway, all the quick zooms and close-ups didn't bother me as much this time. And Leonardo DiCaprio is a good actor, as is Russell Crowe, probably some of the best work that either of them has done, although "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and "L.A. Confidential" are still their best. And of course Gene Hackman was excellent.

Caseus Archivelox: Peking Opera Blues

2001-11-29 - 3:05 p.m.
Here's a collection of some great misspelled and misused subtitles from Peking Opera Blues, one of the movies from the Martial Arts Series from Freewater. It not only was funny, but it was a good movie as well.
Keep in mind that I was laughing so hard I missed some.
"God, if I ever sing for a living again, I'll no longer be a man." This was a woman.
"Recarinate as a man."
"Tide him up, if he didn't, take it castrate him."
"There's a woman: knock her up."
"They tossing for the general."
"Is you? How come is you?"
"If you think this place is too crowdy, I'm going to blow up."
"Tide up the bed sheet." "Tide it up?" "Yes."
"Don't pretend to be miserious." (mysterious)
"You feel lonely. Sentence them at night."
Also, they used crowdy instead of crowded every time, knock instead of lock, and tide instead of tie. Lot's of things were crowdy, knocked up, and tided.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Cyrano de Bergerac, Protocols of Zion, & Palindromes

Cyrano de Bergerac is a filmed version of the 2007 stage play and stars Kevin Kline as the titular character, Jennifer Garner as Roxane, Chris Sarandon as De Guiche, and Daniel Sunjata as Christian. It's highly enjoyable, due to the always enjoyable Kevin Kline and Chris Sarandon. It took me a while before I recognized him. I'm a big fan of the play, having seen Roxanne many times, along with reading the play back in high school, and seeing Kevin Kline just become him was worth the 2.5 hour long run time. If you have a chance to see it (it was on Great Performances on PBS a couple weeks ago and is on DVD now), I highly recommend it.

Protocols of Zion is a documentary, and I thought it was actually going to be about the history of the Protocols of the Elder of Zion. Which I guess I have to wait for some other movie, or maybe just buy the Will Eisner comic version. This was just a fitfully interesting documentary, rarely insightful, and frequently frustrating in its inability to go anywhere other than the surface. Eh.

Palindromes is Todd Solondz's film. And all that means, for better or worse. Pedophilia, abortion, Christian fundamentalism, shooting abortion doctors, and, above all, utter pretension. Seriously, there's a reason no one else would fund this film. Because it's not good. I liked Welcome to the Dollhouse, and Happiness and Storytelling were at least interesting. This was just bad, with eight different actresses playing the lead, ranging from Jennifer Jason Leigh to thirteen-year-olds to a fat black woman. The thing that pissed me off the most was the Christian fundamentalists were taking in people with birth defects, and they sing terrible Christian music. Just ugh.

1/22/2009

Jumper, Wages of Fear, Horrors of Malformed Men, Snake Woman's Curse, & Blind Woman's Curse

Jumper begins promisingly enough, and then Hayden Christensen appears. Is there anyone who would have been good as Anakin Skywalker? Certainly not him, and he's really terrible here, as is basically everyone in the film, even the normally enjoyable Diane Lane, Michael Rooker (both of whom were given nothing to do) and Samuel L. Jackson. The only thing that makes the film enjoyable at all is Jamie Bell, as another jumper who hunts Paladins who hunt jumpers. Apparently, very little of this comes remotely close to the book. So the question becomes, who's responsible for this infanticide? The studio, the director Doug Liman, or the three writers Simon Kinberg, David S. Goyer, and Jim Uhls? Sadly, I think everyone is to blame. The film is only 88 minutes long, suggesting studio meddling in an attempt to make the film remotely sensible. Doug Liman is talented, but there is a messiness to this film that suggests no actual plan to make this film work with such a wooden cast and terrible script. Why, exactly, scriptwriters, did you need to create the Paladins? Why not just keep the NSA as the bad guys? Seriously, this movie is a completely bad idea and sometimes you just need to make fewer crap movies with good ideas that would make someone like me think it could be acceptable. This was not good, Hollywood, not good.

Wages of Fear is the original film that Sorcerer is based on. I saw Sorcerer years ago, and it was a very good and tense film. To describe the plot simply: four guys have to drive a truck of nitroglycerin across Central America. Somehow, it stretches to two and a half hours of extremely tense scenes and greatness. I like films where people just go back and forth in various languages, and this one goes back and forth from French to English a lot, and includes Spanish and German as well. As much as you might expect this film to be ridiculously simplistic, the tension mounts, due to the great direction by Henri-Georges Clouzot, and it's just a masterpiece.

Horrors of Malformed Men is the first in a series of three bizarre Japanese films I watched this weekend. And it's probably the most bizarre film I've seen in a long time. How many films can you think of that are banned in Japan? This is partly due to the title, which references the people disfigured by the atomic bombs (along with using an offensive term in the original Japanese for the malformed men), but also, there are huge sections that are very similar to the grostequeries of Caligula, but it isn't mediocre porn (just many, many topless women sewed to goats or other people). It's actually a combination of short stories by Edogawa Rampo (say it quickly, and remember these are detective stories), but it actually works quite well as a single story. Not sure it's all that good of a movie, but it's really not too much like other ones.

Snake Woman's Curse is supposed to be a ghostly horror movie, but it isn't very scary. It is, however, a condemnation of 16th century Japanese feudal society inequality. Blind Woman's Curse stars Meiko Kaji as a yakuza who accidentally blinds a woman and a cat starts to torment her. There are some weird visuals, and it's somewhat more of a yakuza than ghost movie. Eh to it an Snake Woman's Curse.

Also, I finally made it through my old blog's archives, and I have almost three years of movie reviews to include. I could even include my reviews from my horror class, which are amusing as they're written with the same attention to detail as the blog you're currently reading, but were turned in for grades. How often and how many reviews should I post? Should I just start a new category and call them "Caseus Archivelox" or somesuch, or should I backdate everything? I have around 100 pages of reviews of movies, a few I've already posted, but mainly just half-assed reviews of films I may have forgotten I've seen. I'm leaning towards posting each day as a separate post, tagged with Caseus Archivelox and the date and time of original posting for the blog entries and dates for school papers. But the problem is how many not to overwhelm? If you have any suggestions, comment, and I'll take them in to consideration.

1/17/2009

Black Sheep, Mutual Appreciation, & Running on Empty

Black Sheep is very obviously influenced by Bad Taste and Dead Alive. Down to similar shots and gore effects. Of course, it's about as fun, and who can hate on a film that has genetically engineered sheep attacking people and turning them into Sheeple (my preferred term over weresheep, as they aren't really lycanthropes). Who start out by having hair growing out of their wounds, then turning into sheep extremities, and saying things like "baa-a-a-stards". If you liked Dead Alive, it's almost as good, just a lot of insane fun, some terrible acting, and a character named Experience. Of course, for New Zealand, the greater fear is how this would destroy the country due to amount by which sheep outnumber people there. But it's the little touches, like the sheep foot, the "baa-a-a-stards", the sheep phobia: Ovinaphobia, interspecies sex, the scenes of sheep looking very scary by either just standing there or swarming over the hills, and the fact that the special effects were done by Oscar winner Richard Taylor.

Mutual Appreciation is a little too mumblecore-y for me, although I liked the soundtrack (almost if not entirely Bishop Allen tracks). It's pleasant enough, but nothing all too good. I kinda just wanted it to be more of Alan playing shows. Those were the best parts.

Running on Empty just pissed me off. Damn you River Phoenix for dying. He's ridiculously good in this film as the older son of a couple of fugitives who bombed a napalm factory during the Vietnam War. It's not that the other actors aren't good, but River is extremely talented. Also, very attractive. The scene in the woods is amazing acting. And yes, I was a little misty eyed at the ending, even though I knew what was going to happen.

1/14/2009

Bender's Game

Bender's Game I saw... well, I must have seen it in early November, as that's when I got it, but I forgot to write it up then, and I just noticed. It definitely doesn't work as well as the first two Futurama movies, even with me being a huge RPG nerd, as I think most of the jokes just felt a little late for a movie released in 2008. Maybe if this had come out in 2002, I would have found them fresher. It's still funny, and any new Futurama is still a treat, but it's a step down.

1/13/2009

Nicholas Nickleby, Black Book, The Promise, Running on Karma, A Matter of Loaf and Death, The Wind That Shakes the Barley, & Away from Her

Nicholas Nickleby was actually pretty good. Charlie Hunnam, of the late and lamented by me Undeclared, stars as the titular character, and Jim Broadbent, Christopher Plummer, Jamie Bell, Romola Garai, Tom Courtenay, Anne Hathaway, Juliet Stevenson, Nathan Lane (with Dame Edna as his wife), Alan Cumming, Timothy Spall, Edward Fox, and Kevin McKidd provide able backup. Written and directed by Douglas McGrath, who is also responsible for Emma and Infamous, the less good version of both Emma and the Truman Capote story, he actually manages to make a fine film here, worth watching if you enjoy either social commentary or Dickens (probably both if you enjoy one, really). It's fairly funny, captures the spirit of the Dickens novel without attempting to fit everything into it, and just a very fine way to spend over two hours.

Black Book is a Paul Verhoeven film, so it's full of sex and violence. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It goes to show that Carice van Houten actually can act (and Hollywood had no idea what to do with her, probably because she bleached her pubes on screen here), and the others who are ok in Valkyrie are quite good here. Verhoeven gets slammed unfairly for making Showgirls and Hollow Man (neither of which are good movies per se), but he is also responsible for Robocop, Total Recall, Starship Troopers, and The Fourth Man, all great to amazing films. He is someone who makes watchable films, as long as he isn't censored horribly. I need to make an effort to see some more of his earlier Dutch films. Spetters was kind of hard for me to watch, as I was never able to find a particularly good quality subtitled (or dubbed) version when I looked a few years ago. It's out on DVD here, though, so I'm going to put it in my Netflix queue, along with Soldier of Orange.

The Promise was crap. Sorry, Chen Kaige, but terrible CGI and Cecilia Cheung are not enough to make me sit through crap. The script was a mess, and I didn't even realize that the DVD had a skip in it that made me rewatch four minutes until it skipped for the second time. Avoid like the plague this movie is on Chen Kaige's career.

Running on Karma has Andy Lau in a very fake muscle suit, and starts the movie as a male stripper, who used to be a monk and can see the future and past of people and can talk to animals. He befriends the cop (Cecilia Cheung) who was involved in a sting over his fully nude strip show and helps her solve crimes, including one of a dude who can contort himself in very small places. It is utterly ridiculous. It's co-directed by Johnny To, who's very talented, so it actually is a strange thriller, but with some very, very silly things in it to accept. And then it takes a very, very weird turn in the third act. Karma is a very important part of the film. This ending would never fly in a non-Buddhist country.

A Matter of Loaf and Death is the new Wallace and Gromit short. I am a huge fan of Aardman Animation, and while this isn't as strong as The Wrong Trousers, A Close Shave, or The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, it's up there with Chicken Run and A Grand Day Out. I think I missed cheese. But the animation is as strong as ever, it just didn't quite do it for me as much as their best, although it was full of funny references and terrible dog puns. Still definitely worth watching whenever it actually airs in the US.

The Wind That Shakes the Barley is a Ken Loach film about the origins of Ireland, and the fighting between those who founded the IRA and those who took the Irish Free State way out. As such, it actually is a companion piece with Neil Jordan's Michael Collins, which I saw back in 1996 at a pre-release screening in Cincinnati for an Irish group my grandfather was a member of. Anyway, the film was frustrating, because neither the ubernationalists or the more conciliatory Free-staters were really wrong, so seeing the ending just made me pissed all over again at Eamon De Valera. Damn you. Of course, the parallels between the IRA and terrorist organizations and guerrillas of today is used by Loach very effectively to point out that the British never had a chance in Ireland, and the only surprising thing is that it took so long for them to give up. It's a very good looking film, and for those interested in Irish history, definitely worth it.

Away from Her was directed by Sarah Polley, from an Alice Munro story, and is about a couple, deeply in love, and the wife gets Alzheimer's. Depressing as hell, but beautifully shot, and great acting all around. If you can handle two hours of sadness, I can't think of a better film about Alzheimer's out there. Infinitely better than The Notebook (which I tried to watch once, but man, it was just ugh).

1/04/2009

Valkyrie

Balls, I did it again. I forgot to list a movie I saw. Although this time it fits in perfectly with how I felt about it: Valkyrie was utterly unnecessary. For a better idea of it, and much more in depth and well-written and the like, go read the friend I saw it with's review here. There are very, very few bits of it that I don't agree with entirely. I liked The Usual Suspects?

Encounters at the End of the World, You're Gonna Miss Me, Everything's Gone Green, Starter for 10, Dynamite Warrior, Bad Guy, & Cryptonomicon

Encounters at the End of the World is a Werner Herzog documentary (which I saw some time ago, but forgot to review) about how crazy everyone who spends time on Antarctica is. So it's basically a typical Herzog documentary: fascinating. I think that this one may have ventured a little far into sneering contempt for his subjects, as a number of times, he just starts to talk over them. A little disrespectful, especially when he says that they tend to ramble on. Of course, those bits of Herzog being an ass is to be completely expected. It's the parts where he just allows the awesomeness of Antarctica to show, like following the penguins or the below ice scuba diving. Those more than make up for that, and this is a great piece of filmmaking, certainly worthy of consideration as one of the best documentaries this year.

You're Gonna Miss Me is about Roky Erickson, lead singer of the 13th Floor Elevators, the creators of Psychadelic Rock, and, as far as I know, the only band with an electric jug. He was also a huge drug user, and, as an example against those damn hippies, was arrested for possessing a tiny bit of marijuana. His lawyer had him plead insanity, and then he went into a horrible maximum security hospital where everyone else there was a murderer or a rapist, and stayed there for a few years. After finally being declared "sane", he still made some good music through the 70s and early 80s, until his mental problems (that were present well before he became famous) started to make him utterly insane. Clearly a case for serious medical help, his mother (who is crazy and was also traumatized by Roky's drug use and doesn't trust drugs, doctors, or her husband (who may have sexually abused Roky and his four brothers...)) refuses to get him the help he clearly needs. Finally, Roky's youngest brother fights for custody of Roky, and cleans him up and within a year, he's a somewhat functioning member of society. There are some bonus features on the disc that further flesh out the post-movie story: Roky played Austin City Limits in 2005 (and was introduced by that asshole Kinky Friedman), and in 2007 was declared sane enough to be released from custodial care. Of course, his youngest brother has gone slightly crazy, and now denies that there's anything mentally wrong with someone who's declared "schizophrenic" and that drugs don't help. He and his friend, a crazy "doctor" John Breeding, have a bit where they rant about how psychiatry is bull and that mental illness doesn't exist. It was a little hard to follow their "logic", as they were utterly insane. The film, beyond the interest of the story, was full of some pretty good music, although I just wanted the filmmakers to force Roky to clip his nails. Some of them were creepy long. Anyway, I'm very happy that Roky's healthy again, even with all the barriers he had to have others break through.

Everything's Gone Green is a Douglas Coupland script, who is someone I've heard much about, but never actually read any of his writing. This is a slightly smug look at a group of Vancouverites who are all trying to find their place in society, one works as a photographer and writer for the BC lottery interviewing those who've just won the lottery, his best friend is a pot grower, another works as a golf course designer, and another works as a location scout for films. It's kind of hokey, there's nothing particularly brilliant about it, it's a hugely critical of capitalism, and about the only thing I found noteworthy was it's cultural criticism of filming in Vancouver and trying to pass it off as Phoenix or California or some other place it obviously isn't. I mean, the film isn't bad, and it's watchable, but it's just nothing particularly amazing.

Starter for 10 is set in England in 1985, and is about a guy who goes off to college, knowing a crazy amount of useless trivia and wants nothing more than to join the University Challenge team. And his love triangle between the hot blonde on the team and the Jewish student he met the first day at Bristol University. I identified with Brian (played by James McAvoy with an appropriate mix of awkwardness and comfort), and thought the movie was an enjoyable film, that didn't have much to say about much. Apparently, the novel it was based on is much more about class and the non-big three characters are far more fleshed out, which probably would have helped the film a bit. But the best thing about the film was the soundtrack. A great collection of 80s rock, from many songs from The Cure to Echo & the Bunnymen, New Order, Yaz, The Undertones, The Psychedelic Furs, Tears for Fears, and the Smiths to The Buzzcocks and Motörhead. Just a great soundtrack.

Dynamite Warrior is a Thai film that has the martial arts choreographer from Ong-Bak. That has to be why I added it my Netflix queue, right? It's cheesy and over the top (the hero rides into battle riding rockets and, oh yeah, it's set in the 1850s). And the final battle ends with the hero punching the bad guy, who's on fire and being pulled up a rope, in the stomach, knocking him into a tractor, which then explodes. That gives you some idea of how subtle the film is. Sigh.

Bad Guy is a Kim Ki-Duk film, and it's very depressing. Would she really just accept being turned into a prostitute and then fall in love with the guy who forced her into selling her body? Also, there are streets in South Korea where prostitutes just line up and brow beat men into paying for sex? Doesn't this go against everything I know about this culture? Where an actress was just convicted of adultery (seriously, backwards ass country alert), you're telling me prostitutes can just be really obvious on the streets? I never understood why they can do something so obviously illegal in public and not get caught. Not that I think this should be illegal, but my feelings on prostitution and marijuana are basically: legalize it and tax heavily. Because there's a lot of money to be made, plus, neither of them is particularly dangerous unless you keep them illegal.

Cryptonomicon is a Neal Stephenson novel about codes and codebreaking. It's set in both World War II and the present day (as of the late 90s when it was written). Being a huge math and computer nerd, unfortunately unskilled in complicated math and computers, I found it really up my alley. My huge amounts of knowledge of World War II (seriously, I read so many books way back when) still mean that I have a soft spot for that section, and so both sections were very interesting. Plus, the pot shot taken at Reagan was fun. I very much loved the book, and it almost makes me want to read the Baroque Cycle, but I think I'm going to stick with borrowing Snow Crash. If you have my relatively weird combination of interests, Cryptonomicon will be absolutely perfect, but I can definitely see how some wouldn't enjoy it. For some reason, my dad read the review in the Times and bought it many years ago, and still hasn't gotten around to reading it, but I borrowed and read it.

12/24/2008

The Da Vinci Code, Cutthroat Island, The Long Good Friday, Executive Koala, & Purple Rain

The Da Vinci Code clearly was going to be made, based on the huge sales of the book, but is there a more useless big budget film? Ridiculous, and somehow, for some reason, they changed the ending to make it much more ambiguous that Sophie is the descendant of Jesus Christ. Too bad, because that was just about the only thing that made the story remotely interesting. Of course, it's crap, based on misrepresentations and the like. Of course, I fully subscribe to the idea that Jesus was a normal dude, and the huge gap in his life in the New Testament, along with the idea that since I believe that Jesus actually did exist, it's highly unlikely that the huge inconsistencies and mistranslations in the Bible could possibly be reconciled. It's obvious that all religions are based on earlier ones, building on myths, trying to explain things that science hadn't yet explained, so a healthy skepticism of organized religion is good, but the least you can do is at least be honest. Dan Brown may be a compulsively readable author, but he's a first class liar.
Cutthroat Island is quite simply terrible in every way. But it's a different terrible from The Singing Forest. There's some talent there, but so little of it is in evidence anywhere remotely near this film that I wonder who decided to greenlight this with such a huge budget. Really, anyone who may have, at one time or after the movie, been a good actor/director/writer/anything seriously did not know what the hell they were doing. They replaced quality movie with explosions. And extra-long boring fight scenes with pirates, a monkey, and explosions.
The Long Good Friday is a great British gangster film. Bob Hoskins gives a riveting performance as a "middle-class" gangster trying to open a casino, and deal with bombings that seem to be trying to eliminate him and his woman, Helen Mirren. It also features a young Pierce Brosnan as an assassin. Really, it's quite good.
Executive Koala is a very strange film, a Koala is a salaryman at a pickle company in Japan, and his wife disappeared three years ago and his new girlfriend just disappeared. And he works for a bunny. Telling you much more about the plot would be ruining it. There's a musical interlude, some strange cultural satire, and some breaking the fourth wall. Definitely worth watching, because I have never seen a film that so nonchalantly deals with something so utterly weird.
Purple Rain has some great Prince tracks, and some terrible acting. The bluray didn't seem like it was worth getting, as it still looked like an old DVD, so maybe they just did a crappy job with the transfer? And Morris Day is supposed to be stupid, but his pants were just too high for me to take him remotely seriously.

CSS and Ssion at 9:30 12/20

So Ms. Sally Albright got me a ticket to the CSS show. I had heard their albums, and had the song from the iPod ad stuck in my head for as long as it had been on TV. With my recent (well, within the last couple of years) much larger interest in dancey electro poppy type of music, I certainly wasn't going to miss this show. Crazy Brazilian music? Yes, please.

The opener was Ssion (pronounced Shun), which she had apparently seen when they opened for The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. They're an art-punk music collective, led by Cody Critcheloe, from Kansas City. Apparently, there are insane people in every town. Insane people who put out amazingly catchy tracks. Saving you the trouble of googling for it, here's the video for Street Jizz (unfortunately with the correct number of z's). They played many tracks from Fool's Gold, along with a mediocre, at best, cover of Nightclubbing. Bits of New Kids on the Block and Michael Jackson lyrics also found their way into songs. Cody danced on a raised platform in front of a screen occasionally showing the lyrics of the songs, had two men in matching leotards dancing next to the platform, and the keyboardist in an outfit that reminds everyone that he is a Boy on both his jacket and hat, and a drummer keeping the insistent beat on orange see through drums. But the ending song, Street Jizz, is one of the catchiest songs I've ever heard. Just addictive to an extreme. Quite fun, and the members of CSS dancing on the balcony also seemed to be enjoying themselves.

CSS came out and put on a pretty fun show, playing all the tracks I knew (um, Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex, Let's Make Love and Listen to Death from Above, and... that's it), and ended with a huge group singalong to We Are the Champions. The show was enjoyable enough, even without knowing the songs, but they were kind of overshadowed by Ssion. For those of you keeping score, Lovefoxxx was attractive, but the weird outfit did nothing for me.

12/16/2008

I Am Legend, The Polar Express, The Silent Partner, Overlord, Early Spring, & Equinox Flower

I Am Legend is pretty bad. The first parts, where Will Smith... oh, I mean, Robert Neville is wandering around a badly cgi'd New York City (and badly CGI'd deer and lions) are at least serviceable, but once the CGI'd vampires/zombies start dominating the screentime, it goes right off a cliff and never recovers. I watched it on HBO, so I didn't get to see the alternate ending in great quality, but I saw it online, and it certainly is better, although I wonder exactly why the studio had them change a happy ending to a depressing one. Aren't happy endings what Hollywood wants? Neither was particularly good, and the whole final siege scene was pretty much crap. Blargh. There's a good movie in there somewhere, but bad bad bad special effects just ruined it.

The Polar Express is a bunch of people dead behind the eyes, and the few people not played by Tom Hanks. The animation was off, because the eyes looked dead, and the faces didn't move right. Also, the movie was stretched to the point of pain. Barghle. Why did I sit through this? Stupid.

The Silent Partner has a great performance from Christopher Plummer as a crazy guy who robs a bank where Elliott Gould, Susannah York, and John Candy (!) work. But Elliott Gould took the money first. So Plummer starts about getting the money from him. It's written by Curtis Hanson, he of L.A. Confidential and Wonder Boys fame. As such, it's an interesting little film, with nudity and violence against women (the second of which I was kind of uncomfortable with). But certainly goes to show that the 1970s were a very good time for movies.

Speaking of the 70s, Overlord was originally made in 1975, but vanished for about 30 years until it was redone by the Criterion Collection a few years ago. It's the story of a mild-mannered guy who joins the British Army during WWII and is on one of the first landing crafts to hit Normandy during D-Day. He struggles through basic training, and really is not the soldiering type. And all through this he is terrified by a vision he has of being shot while running up the beach. But the real reason why this film is interesting is the large amount of archival footage provided by both the Imperial War Museum as well as German film archives. John Alcott, who worked with Stanley Kubrick many times (including the brilliantly shot Barry Lyndon), matches the film stock perfectly. Not just a touching story, it's also one of the best movies about D-Day, even as it ends before any real fighting has happened. Definitely recommended.

Early Spring makes me wish I didn't feel this compunction to watch every film by directors I enjoy. It's a more biting film than many of his others, focusing on a salaried man's affair and hiding it from his family and coworkers, but still they all feel like he's telling a similar story in a slightly different fashion. Technically proficient, and with the same strong performances, but definitely of decreasing value to me watching them. Equinox Flower at least doesn't have a title of Relative Time Season. It's really close, but not exactly. The hero of this is a hypocrite about relationships with daughters, and it's about how the women in his life gently push him into the present with their roles in society. The use of color actually fits with the idea of pushing a somewhat backwards looking guy into the present, as Ozu finally moves into color filmmaking.

The Singing Forest, My Straight Boyfriend, Popcorn & Coke, Uninhibited, & Misguided Piss

The Singing Forest is the most immature film I have ever seen. And possibly one of the worst. I also watched it before the previous posts, but I somehow didn't write it up then. The Singing Forest, which isn't really obviously referenced anywhere in the film (I think it may have been the title of the article that the lead wrote after a visit to a psychic), was the screams of victims who were impaled on spikes. I would have known this had I been willing to watch Paragraph 175, but it sits languishing on my DVR, for over two years now. There's just something about a documentary about gay people being persecuted during the Holocaust that makes me feel like I should watch it, but not actually create any desire to do so. I could go through the many, many ways that this film was terrible, but suffice it to say that when the surf drowns out dialogue, that was the best scene in the film. Better than when the barking dog drowned out dialogue, or when we get to see the fiancee's penis because the father stares at him in the shower. All would be highlights of any other film, but only Jorge Ameer is man enough to put them all in one film. That's not mentioning the wedding, the daughter (conceived during a rape where the obviously gay father meets the now-dead mother) being named Destiny, the extremely awkward and terrible dialogue, acting, directing, editing, sound design, cinematography, and so on. I bet even the best boy grips were amateurish. Really, the movie is so bad it must be seen. And then ridiculed for days to anyone who hasn't seen it. Which is what I did, and why I have no idea how I could have forgotten to write about it.

Even better than the horrible main feature though, were the bonus features. It included four short films, one of which isn't on IMDB. My Straight Boyfriend starts with a guy walking into his room, getting naked, and masturbating. Which is totally normal. But then he gets under the covers and continues to masturbate, which, to me, just means messy sheets and a stain. So he's going at it for a while, until you start to realize there's someone in the bed, possibly giving him oral pleasure. At first it's clearly a woman, and then it turns into a sex doll's head (what?), and then the arms show up and it's clearly a dude. This is not subtle. This is stupid. Even worse was Popcorn & Coke, which was about a guy getting "seduced" by an awkward guy and a woman with bad taste in clothes that showed her backfat (which isn't a major issue, but just kind of a bad costuming decision), while the older woman sitting behind him looked on jealously. The star of it, Matthew Leitch, was in both The Dark Knight and Band of Brothers. So someone clearly thought well enough of his acting abilities. It's too bad Jorge Ameer has no talent. Apparently this was the introduction to The Glitter Awards, which he started and curates. In fact, just read his bio from the IMDB, which was obviously written by him (and according to his message board, definitely wrote it, and then changed his nickname). Uninhibited is about a guy who walks into his apartment and turns on the tv, which is showing The Singing Forest, in a not-so-subtle bit of product placement. And then hears his roommate having sex (with a woman!), so he crawls under his bed and when she leaves, and then the roommate clearly knows he's under there and tells him to come out. And then gets naked and into the shower where the guy follows and they start making out. Another winner by Jorge Ameer! But the clear winner for best short included on this was Misguided Piss, about a nerd who watches a great pickup in a bathroom. One dude pisses on another one's leg. This shot is repeated many times, on an already wet pant leg, which is just crap. Also there's a point of view shot of the guy's obviously fake penis pissing. Which is also repeated. So the pissee and the pisser leave the bathroom together, and so the nerd tries it with this big guido, named Rico Riconi (the actual actor), who doesn't take to it and punches him out. All through every one of his movies, he uses bad classical music, and one had a particularly bad cover of some terrible song, possibly Mandy. Now I'm completely blanking on this, so I don't remember. But it was terrible. Ameer's just one of the worst filmmakers currently out there.

12/10/2008

Sooner or Later, Zigeunerweisen, Kageroza, Yumeji, & Underworld Beauty

Sooner or Later is an 11 minute short Hungarian film written and directed by István Madarász (and is Elöbb-utóbb in Hungarian). Normally I wouldn't bother watching random short films online, but io9 and Metafilter both linked to it, so go here and watch a short about a late-war secret Nazi experiment to use a time travel serum to go back to win the war. Worth 11 minutes.

Zigeunerweisen, Kageroza, and Yumeji are an informal trilogy of Seijun Suzuki films, and are bizarre and very nonsensical with ghosts and actors playing different people. Sorry, just didn't like them at all. They're basically his only major works from Branded To Kill to Pistol Opera. He clearly was still messing with people, but instead of it being the studio heads like in Tokyo Drifter and Branded To Kill, it is the audience. Underworld Beauty, on the other hand, is a quick little dirty, early Seijun Suzuki film, not as good as his later ones, but it's effective at what it does: a bunch of criminals are chasing after some diamonds. There's a tense scene involving a coal chute, and a lot of naked mannequins, but really, it's just a fun little film. Nothing remotely that interesting except for those who will see anything by a director of which they are a fan.

The Bourne Ultimatum, Little Dieter Needs to Fly, Rescue Dawn, WALL-E, BURN-E, & Presto

The Bourne Ultimatum is the last (maybe? with a successful series, who knows?) Bourne movie, and as such, it finally answers some questions that you don't get from reading the books (which I did back in 2002 after liking the first movie). Julia Stiles is no Franke Potente, and Édgar Ramírez is definitely not Clive Owen. The second two films are different from the first one, but they're all enjoyable spy films. My only problem with them is that they've apparently heavily influenced Quantum of Solace and it isn't nearly as good as Casino Royale? I sort of want my Bourne films to be about revenge, and my Bond movies to be about awesomeness. Revenge shouldn't really enter into it. Maybe I shouldn't condemn it until I've seen it. Maybe it'll be out sometime in the spring on blu-ray?

Little Dieter Needs to Fly is the documentary that Rescue Dawn was based on, so I watched them both in one day. I recommend them both, although Rescue Dawn is considerably longer, but it does have Jeremy Davies and François Chau from Lost, so that was a nice touch. Dieter is Dieter Dengler, a young survivor of WWII who moved to the US to fly planes. In an early (his first, I think) mission into Laos, his plane was shot down and was captured a day later. He survived for months in a prisoner of war camp, and then eventually escaped and survived for a long time before being rescued. Also, Dieter was involved in four more plane crashes as a test pilot after the war. How much of a badass was this guy? The documentary is pretty short, but it covers everything that the movie does in a better fashion. Although, as Werner Herzog directed it, he puts Dieter through some mean things, like forcing him to be run through the jungle with his hands tied. He's a total bastard, but he makes good films. Oh, and Rescue Dawn includes a Steve Zahn decapitation. Not bad.

WALL-E is the newest Pixar animated film. It just won the best film of the year award from the LA Film Critics Association. It's a Pixar film. Of course, I absolutely loved it. Beautiful animation, an extremely touching (no pun intended, but I like it anyway) story, and funny when it wanted to be. I am not sure if it's the best Pixar film, but it's definitely up there. Also on the DVD were BURN-E and Presto. BURN-E is sort of like a deleted subplot than another movie, but it's enjoyable enough. Presto, on the other hand, is the hilarious and extremely awesome story of a magic pair of hats that a magician uses in his act and the bunny who turns the tables violently. Definitely worth a rental if you, for some reason, have seen WALL-E and somehow missed this. Pixar just knows how to make short films that are clever and interesting, and this homage to old-school Bugs Bunny and Tom & Jerry cartoons is just about perfect.

11/30/2008

Nobody Knows, Graveyard of Honor, & Graveyard of Honor

Nobody Knows is a depressing film about a group of children who are abandoned by their mom and how they have to survive with the oldest being only 12. I cannot express how sad this film is. It is based on a true story, which just hurt all the more. Hirokazu Koreeda, who also directed Maborosi and Afterlife, gets good performances from the kids, but I do sort of wish it wasn't so heartbreaking.

Graveyard of Honor is a 1975 film by Kinji Fukasaku which was remade in 2002 by Takashi Miike. I watched both. Fukasaku's version is slightly better, as it's less bloated. They're both about a yakuza who struggles to be a not huge dick and getting every yakuza family pissed at him. He fails, and eventually has to fight both his family and other families, along with the cops. Watching these back to back was a little annoying, because he was just ridiculously stupid and overreacting. The Miike film just went on a little long. Fukusaku's film is actually similar to the Yakuza Papers films, firmly placing the story in a historical context, which adds a lot of texture to the film.

The Lookout, I Think I Love My Wife, & Passport to Pimlico

The Lookout was written by Scott Frank, writer of one of my favorite big Hollywood films of the 1990s: Out of Sight, along with another excellent Elmore Leonard adaptation in Get Shorty. He also wrote Dead Again, a film for which I have a possibly irrational fondness. Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh are just always great together. Anyway, about the Lookout: Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues his very strong string of performances along with Mysterious Skin and Brick, showing that he's quite talented. Oh, and 10 Things I Hate about You, but that's in a different class. Rural Kansas seems sometimes interesting, and sometimes not very nice. It's an interesting film, and supporting actors like Jeff Bridges and Carla Gugino add some nice performances (well, Carla Gugino is a little underused). A little too influenced by Memento, but still worth watching.

I Think I Love My Wife is Chris Rock and Louis C.K. film remaking Chloe in the Afternoon, one of Erich Rohmer's Six Moral Tales. I'm not sure why it was remade, and I'm not sure why this film was made. It's not particularly funny, and it doesn't really tell a story that seems worth telling. Hey, don't cheat on your wife! Wow, thanks overlong film. And who doesn't like viagra jokes! There's talent in this film, but it is in evidence nowhere.

Passport to Pimlico is an early Ealing Studios comedy about a somewhat crappy part of London that, due to an unexploded bomb that suddenly explodes, discovers that they're not actually part of the United Kingdom but was actually given to the Duke of Burgundy and thus is the lone remaining part of Burgundy. There are some funny bits, and the small guys versus the government is a fine message. Having Naunton Wayne and Basil Radford basically be their same bumbling characters introduced in The Lady Vanishes adds a bit of interest to film buffs. Not as good as other Ealing Studios comedies, but enjoyable enough.

Standard Operating Procedure, Path to War, The War Game, Culloden, & Fast Food Nation

Standard Operating Procedure is the newest Errol Morris film, and as such is a brilliant documentary. It's about the Abu Ghraib scandal, and as such, brought out some very interesting points that I had never known before. Did you know in the famous photo of Lynndie England pointing at a prisoner's junk, he was masturbating? See, I saw the pictures when they were first released, and I never noticed that. Something about my sickening feeling when I first saw them led to me not actually going over them in detail. But man, this film does, made me extremely uncomfortable to see what was done in my name, and then I just got extremely pissed. Seriously, this was just a completely messed up way to treat a human being. I'm so anti-torture now that just the idea that this was condoned by anyone in the military makes me want to call for their imprisonment. Just a sickening display of supposed moral righteousness. This is why they hate us. And it's not really all that clear as to why they'd be wrong.

Path to War is about LBJ's presidency as it relates to Vietnam. I saw people portraying people I know in it. That was fun. It has an amazing cast, universally excellent, and is really an interesting look at just how it seemed completely impossible that we could be drawn into a war there, even as we had no idea how to win it. Statistics are useful, but they can't beat actual experience. And it's frustrating to know that a great man was taken down by stupid rabid anti-communism, when there was so much evidence that Vietnam was fighting for its independence as nationalists not as communists. Seriously, why the hell does the US do so many stupid stupid things. I blame the Republicans. Democrats just couldn't be "soft" on communism, even when it would have been so much better for everyone involved.

The War Game is a documentary about what would happen if England would be the target of a nuclear attack. As such, it's horrifying. I've been reading metafilter and ask.metafilter for years now, and they've mentioned it a few times, and I started to read about it, and apparently it terrified many English children back when it was shown on TV. I can certainly understand that, as nuclear war is a motherfucker. Seriously, the idea of just what would happen and how much of England's population would be wiped out in a first strike, but how bad it would be for those who would survive. Even though it's based on evidence, it's basically a fictional film, and yet it still won the Oscar for best documentary. It's that good.

Culloden is another film made for British TV by Peter Watkins, but this is about the battle of Culloden, the final battle in the Jacobite Rebellion in Scotland. Not the best thing the English ever did, as after they crushed the Jacobite forces, they gave the fleeing rebels no quarter and it led to horrible atrocities committed by the English forces. It's not nearly as good as The War Game, but it was interesting, as you really don't hear much about the Jacobites in any American school class on European history. It came on the same DVD as The War Game, so think of it as an added bonus for that film.

Fast Food Nation is the book by Eric Schlosser that was made into a movie that I saw back in March. I borrowed Tweaks's copy, and enjoyed the little notes she wrote in it (she read it for school). Somehow it actually made me more upset about suburban sprawl and the mistreatment of workers rather than the danger of eating tainted meat. It's a very easy read for a book about maimings and horrible diseases, exploitation of illegal immigrants and young workers not washing their hands, crazy Christians and heartless executives. I need to read Reefer Madness now. Sections on pot, illegal immigration, and porn? My three favorite things all in one place!

11/12/2008

Zodiac, Samurai Girl, Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story, & Valis

Zodiac is something I saw a while ago, and forgot to write up with either of my last two posts. But it's David Fincher's long and involving look at the Zodiac killer, a serial killer in the San Francisco area who killed at least five people in the late 60s. Of course, he wouldn't be nearly as interesting had it not been for the codes that he sent to reporters after some of the murders. Quite a fascinating case. The movie stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Robert Downey, Jr., Brian Cox, Elias Koteas, Dermot Mulroney, Donal Logue, Philip Baker Hall, Adam Goldberg, Clea DuVall, and Chloë Sevigny, all of whom I have a soft spot for, or love unreservedly. And David Fincher does a good job, ratcheting the tension, even though you know that no one will ever get caught or charged with the murders. It's just a strong film, all around.

Samurai Girl is an ABC Family miniseries event thingy, six hours about a young girl named Heaven who it turns out is a sort of Japanese Jedi master whose destiny it is to save the world, or destroy it or something. Honestly, I didn't entirely understand what the hell would happen. She is about to get married when the wedding is hijacked by ninjas who kill her brother and send her running off to her brother's friend (who happens to be a ninja master), but not before meeting a goofball (played by Kyle Labine, brother of Tyler from Reaper, which doesn't start up again until January?) and his roommate. The cast is uniformly mediocre (besides Kyle, who's not as charming as Tyler), and Jamie Chung (who is Korean-American and plays Japanese, which I would have been bothered by had this tried to be remotely realistic) formerly starred on The Real World San Diego. So yeah, it's cheezy as hell, but it's surprisingly watchable. As long as you're sitting on your bed, bundled up, under the influence of drugs. And willing to deal with a much worse Buffy ripoff.

Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story was shown on Frontline, and is an interesting look at the history of one of my lifetimes greatest racebaiters: Lee "Willie Horton" Atwater. For those who don't spend too much time reading about the history of Karl Rove and the like, it's probably informative, but other than actually seeing pictures of him palling around with terrorists (black people!) and drunks (George W. Bush) and his face post-steroids, there's surprisingly little there there. Still, I enjoyed it, and enjoyed thinking that Lee Atwater and Karl Rove were so dirty that Ed Rollins thought they went too far.

Valis is a Philip K. Dick novel (I think the first work of his I've actually read, which is surprising based on my enjoyment of movies based on his books), that has been cited in Lost, which is why I have wanted to read it since I saw that Tweaks had a copy. I'm not sure how much I can really explain about it, but the wiki page might help a little in explaining why I feel like it's an interesting and possibly illuminating look at what goes on on the island in Lost. Of course, as for anything attempting to explain what's going on in Lost, a visit to Lostpedia's page on Valis is informative.

11/09/2008

Running out of Time, Last Hurrah for Chivalry, Charlotte Sometimes, & The Mission

Running out of Time is a pretty good movie, with Andy Lau as a dying master criminal who is playing a game with an expert hostage negotiator. It's a stylish little thriller from Johnnie To, made during the same year as The Mission, and considerably better than that one. The Mission is about a group of bodyguards hired to protect a triad boss, and then have to struggle with the repercussions of an affair. They're both stylish thrillers, but Running out of Time is just a more effective film, and held my interest much better.

Last Hurrah for Chivalry is an early John Woo film, before he decided that honor was about two .45s being fired at the same time at waves of dudes in suits. At this point it's about guys with swords fighting unnamed guys and guys with names like Green and Pray and Sleeping Wizard (who fights while sleeping). It's eminently silly, a twisted plot about a son revenging the death of his father and an attempt on his life by his newlywed wife (who was a whore he bought and his enemy paid twice as much to kill him), and the two swordsmen who help him. There are many, many swordfights, some interesting, most not, and it seems like the good guys get stabbed many, many times and don't really suffer much. Weird how that works in movies.

Charlotte Sometimes is a little indie film about a quiet Asian guy (the actor's Japanese-American, but the movie doesn't specify his ethnicity) who rents out part of his parents' house to a couple (she's Asian and he's half-Asian) and works as a mechanic. When he meets a girl in the bar at which he hangs out, tensions arise. It's a small film, mainly just the two couples, but it's shot impressively for DV six years ago and looks good and uses light and shadows very well. And it's surprisingly deep. Definitely one to check out if you want to see a great film that doesn't treat the audience like an idiot.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters & Ace in the Hole

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters might be funnier if I had enjoyed the show, but I've been told by some others that the movie isn't particularly funny for those who have enjoyed the show. I mean, just not particularly funny, and, like most of the Adult Swim shows, it's weird for its own sake. Occasionally that can be extremely funny (Harvey Birdman and the like), and other times it's like this. And the title? If you find that funny, maybe you'd like it. But it just goes to show that the entire movie is full of over-the-top things that someone high might find funny. But I was definitely not high.

Ace in the Hole is a dark, dark satire from Billy Wilder. Man, I really didn't expect it to be that evil. It's great though. I liked the reference to Floyd Collins, who I used to hear about all the time when I worked at the Natural History Museum, so that was an added nice touch for me. But Kirk Douglas makes the film as a drunk former big city journalist stuck in Albuquerque who milks a trapped caver as an attempt to get back to working in New York. And of course, everything goes wrong and it becomes a media circus.

Bishop Allen at the Black Cat 11/1

I'm a little behind. Anyway, a large group ended up at the Black Cat to see Bishop Allen. As with the last time they were here in May, they didn't play long enough. But they did play for an hour including the encore break, so that was 10 minutes more. Hey, Bishop Allen: you have two (soon to be three) albums, and around 10 other EPs of original material (one was live and at least a couple of them were rerecorded for the most recent album): you can play longer. I think most would agree. Set was pretty good, and the new songs only stuck out in that I couldn't sing along to them until the chorus had repeated. Definitely looking forward to Grrr..., the new album which should be out in February.

Songs played included: The Monitor, Middle Management, Like Castanets, Click Click Click Click, The Same Fire, and the encore finished with Butterfly Nets. Which made Ms. Albright happy, with her ukulele. Even though the ukulele broke halfway through and the song had to be finished on guitar.

Drink Up Buttercup sucked ass though. They were like a drunken carnival that sunk to the bottom of the sea and started to sing sea shanties. Just crap. According to this guy who agreed with me on Drink Up Buttercup (and this guy who liked that dreck), Electric Owl was actually pretty good. I kind of enjoyed my pre-show event (sushi and then candy), so I guess I'll have to deal with it. And here's a video of Middle Management (AKA the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist trailer song).

11/02/2008

The Magnetic Fields at Lisner Auditorium 10/26

I'm not actually sure what my first experience was with The MF, but it was definitely in college, during which time I picked up a couple of their albums on CD (but not 69 Love Songs, which I had most of on mp3, but didn't own because I hadn't yet just started buying CDs from the labels themselves, and I never could find the box at record stores when I had the cash). I got 69 Love Songs the summer after graduating when I had a job and too much money to spend, and a deep and abiding love for MF was only strengthened. Due to Merritt's rumored (to me at the time, I wasn't as news hungry about things other than my hatred for Bush) reclusiveness, I just put them in a list of bands I would never see live and just went on with my life. When I was surprised by the release of i, I happily picked it up and was extremely happy with most of the album, with it very reminiscent of the more acoustic tracks from 69 Love Songs, rather than what I had originally fallen in love with, the tracks like Take Ecstasy with Me and The Flowers She Sent and the Flowers She Said She Sent and All the Umbrellas in London. But I liked it, and again lamented the lack of touring. Fast forward a few years, past the weird Chinese operas (most of which is a footnote at best in Merritt's career), and I start hearing about his new album, a tribute to Jesus and Mary Chain. Being a huge fan of theirs (and recognizing that Merritt clearly was from the drum beat of When You Were My Baby among others), I was kind of excited about it, but the actual release was kind of disappointing. The noise had gotten in the way of my enjoyment of the lyrics.

But then I heard that they were actually going to be touring this album. Outside of New York City. And I got more excited. Even if I didn't like the most recent album, he was guaranteed to play stuff from earlier albums, along with the 6ths and Gothic Archies songs that would work. So I then promptly forgot about it until a friend reminded me. And then promptly forgot about until said friend reminded me again in front of a group of people who all also wanted to go. So we went. I think there ended up being at least thirteen people I have talked to there, along with an insane amount of people that I've seen at shows and around the city, at the show.

The opening act was one Shugo Tokumaru, who was actually really impressive. Acoustic, singing so quietly it took me a couple of songs before I realized he was singing in Japanese (although introducing himself in a very thick accent and saying he was from Tokyo should have tipped me off), and definitely a nice surprise. I do sort of wish that Portastatic had opened for him, but eh, I can't have everything. For those of you who would like to see what would happen if Portastatic opened for The Magnetic Fields, go here for some videos.

The show itself was a nice, low-key affair. I like sitting shows. Also, being able to hear a pin drop (aka, some random guy coughing (not, me, I could hear myself coughing each and every time I did so)) was nice. Sure, Stephin and Claudia were snippy with each other, but after almost losing their instruments in Philadelphia and it being the last day of the tour, of course they were going to be snippy. Most of it was funny, especially their argument about the Olsen twins. Stephin was sick, and clearly irritated with the audience, especially one dude with a camera, who wins douchebag of the show for that (although the people who left after the first set, what the hell people?). The set list was extremely varied, and while it didn't include all my favorites from the early synthpop days, it had my three favorite MF tracks (Yeah! Oh Yeah!, Take Ecstasy with Me, and one that I won't name due to it making abundantly clear that I'm a sap), so I enjoyed it.

Setlist, based on here with corrections along with band.

When I'm out of Town (The 6ths)
No One Will Ever Love You (Magnetic Fields)
California Girls (Magnetic Fields)
Walking My Gargoyle (The Gothic Archies)
The Nun's Litany (Magnetic Fields)
All My Little Words (Magnetic Fields)
Old Fools (Magnetic Fields)
I Don't Believe You (Magnetic Fields)
Dreams Anymore (Magnetic Fields)
This Little Ukulele (Stephin Merritt)
I Don't Love You Anymore (Magnetic Fields)
Xavier Says (Magnetic Fields)
Zombie Boy (Magnetic Fields)
Papa Was a Rodeo (Magnetic Fields)

Intermission

Lonely Highway (Magnetic Fields)
Take Ecstasy with Me (Magnetic Fields)
Courtesans (Magnetic Fields)
Crows (Gothic Archies)
The Tiny Goat (Gothic Archies)
Too Drunk To Dream (Magnetic Fields)
The Book of Love (Magnetic Fields)
Give Me Back My Dreams (The 6ths)
Drive On, Driver (Magnetic Fields)
What A Fucking Lovely Day (Stephin Merritt)
Yeah! Oh Yeah! (Magnetic Fields)
It's Only Time (Magnetic Fields)

Encore

Washington, DC (Magnetic Fields) (well, at least part of it)
Grand Canyon (Magnetic Fields)

10/27/2008

Sex & Fury, Female Yakuza Tale, & PTU: Into the Perilous Night

Sex & Fury and Female Yakuza Tale are the last two pinky violence movies I plan on seeing for a while. There's just so much naked Japanese women I can take. I never, ever, though I would say that, but, yep, there is a limit. Sex & Fury actually has non-Asian characters in it, speaking their native languages, which is a nice bonus. And one of them is Christina Lindberg, of Thriller (or They Call Her One Eye), providing some naked non-Asian for those of you so inclined. Apparently, she's an English spy and they were trying to start a new Opium war in Japan (this was set in the early 1900s), and our hero Ochô gets involved. She's a pickpocket and a gambler (in one of the worst gambling scenes of all time, making five card draw look boring as hell) and needs to revenge her father's death. Basically, the most impressive thing in it was the naked fight scene after Ochô gets surprised in the bath. Impressive camera work not to show her pubic hair. Female Yakuza Tale picks up the story of Ochô a little later, when she gets involved with some yakuza gamblers and a plot to steal from some yakuza by replacing real drugs with fake drugs. Oh, did I mention that the opening credits to it were another naked fight scene with Ochô, although less skillfully edited to not show her pubes? And that the drugs were smuggled by a group of women in their vaginas, which had to be measured to see how much each could carry? And that most of the film had naked women in it? Including a huge naked fight scene at the end where all the women got naked for no apparent reason? Sex & Fury was actually sort of good, but Female Yakuza Tale just had a couple neat scenes (I mocked the naked credit sequence, but it was probably the best scene in the film) and many, many too many naked women.

PTU: Into the Perilous Night is Johnny To's story of what happens when a Hong Kong policeman's gun goes missing, and the PTU has to go find it in one night. It's not nearly as good as either Election or Exiled, let alone Breaking News, but it's not terrible. Apparently, after my pinky violence kick, I went on a Johnny To kick, so look for reviews of more of those coming up whenever I get time to watch them.

What's taking time is Rock Band 2 (OMG, you guys, totes awesome!), Little Big Planet (Sackboy is adorable!), and, um, Ms. Albright. I don't regret any of those.

10/19/2008

Love on the Run, Reno 911!: Miami, For Y'ur Height Only, Challenge of the Tiger, Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess, & Factory Girl

Love on the Run is the last of the Antoine Doinel films, and as such it spends most of its time looking back at earlier ones through flashbacks. Not too many to Bed and Board, and there are a couple references to Day for Night (still my favorite Truffaut film), but I thought overall it was only of use to people who really liked the earlier Doinel films. It was a nice little bit of a nostalgia trip for me, but nowhere near as good as others. Oh, and the Netflix description is not really right, as it's about his divorce from Christine, they're not really struggling with his infidelity, they've come to grips with it and decided to divorce.

Reno 911!: Miami has convinced me that I just don't like Reno 911!. I have tried many times, but I just don't like it very much. Fitfully funny (as is the show), but overall not enough to keep my interest riveted. I'm not going to object if it's on TV and I'm there (unless I've already seen the episode), but it's not nearly as good as other State alumni work.

For Y'ur Height Only is the Filipino film that starts a little person named Weng Weng as the suavest spy since James Bond. And he beds normal sized women throughout the film, sometimes bizarrely. I mean, the entire movie is one long bizarre spy riff. And stupid. Basically, it's a terrible terrible film that is only of interest now because the star is a little person. As such, it's watchable. Especially if you like watching people get hit and kicked in the nards. Because this film is full of it.

Challenge of the Tiger is the second movie on the same DVD, so I watched it. I'm glad I did. It stars one of the many Bruce Lee knockoffs (named Bruce Le) and he's a member of the CIA (maybe, it wasn't really clear, but I think he was) along with Richard Harrison (who starred in a bunch of movies with Ninja in the title, along with one of Joe D'Amato's porn-ish movies I haven't seen, Orgasmo Nero). Oh, and Richard Harrison's name is Richard Cannon (see, it can be shortened as Dick Cannon! FUNNY!). Anyway, the movie starts out by introducing Richard by having him drive into a palatial estate and be greeted by two topless women who proceed to play topless tennis with the woman in the car with him. And then there's a scene where one of the girls drinks water from one of those pissing boy statues and is then called a dirty girl. Yeah. The plot is about a formula that can sterilize all men. This is clearly a problem for Richard who seems to have sex with all women in the film, while Bruce is a typical eunuch that most Asian men are in Western films. Unless they're there to threaten the white women.

Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess interestingly also has a scene where someone drinks out of a pissing boy statue. In this case it's supposed to be funny, though. Anyway, this is another pinky violence film, and it's actually not full of gratuitous nudity (apparently, the director tried to limit that, and I salute him), and is the last in a series of four films, none of which are supposed to be worth watching besides this one. Five delinquent girls eventually band together to fight the yakuza who are trying to kill the father of one of them. Typical revenge film, but the final scene is of them in red trenchcoats with black armbands. Visually striking and awesome. They strip down to black hotpants and white bandages over their breasts to slaughter the yakuza. There's also a scene where a guy is stabbed in the stomach over a glass floor and bleeds out over it. Very nice. Definitely the strongest of the pinky violence films I've seen recently.

Factory Girl is crap. Many better films about Andy Warhol, and the factual inaccuracies (according to wikipedia and the people involved who are still alive) just grated on me. Along with the very shallowness of it all. If you're going to be making a film about someone who's potentially as interesting as Edie Sedgwick (I assume she is, since you really don't get it from this film), make the film interesting. Woo, Siena Miller's naked. That's the only thing this has going for it. I mean, you can't even use Bob Dylan as a character because he'd sue due to it being made up? What a surprise the film sort of sucked. Just avoid.

10/11/2008

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists at Black Cat 10/8 and Of Montreal at 9:30 10/9

Man, am I ever happy that these two shows were back to back. Otherwise, I'd be extremely pissed at Ted Leo. And I love Ted Leo. It's gonna take multiple listens to get into the new album, as it's just more punky than I like. And the crowd... Man, I hate people under the age of 21 at punk shows. And they stink. The fat dude in front of me was not only taking up the space of about four people (literally, he actually was taking up the space for four people by the end of Ted Leo's set), he also smelled worse than almost anyone I've ever smelled. When the ass stood in front of me with a couple songs left in Ted's set, I wasn't actually that upset, because it gave me a buffer between his sweat glands and my nose.

On to the actual music: Future of the Left sucked. I really didn't like it at all, it was mainly noise. I spent most of the set looking at the Against Me! merchandise and wondering what was the true opposite of Against Me!: was it For Me! or For You!? The former is the opposite of the meaning, but the latter is the opposite of the actual words. This is deep, man. We didn't stick around for Against Me! due to us wanting to get the hell out of there. I imagine it would have answered some questions. Ted himself started the set by saying that he'd be playing a bunch of new songs, and he ended up playing about half completely awesome songs (Army Bound, Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?, Me & Mia, and the like) and half new songs, none of which really stuck out in my mind. I've seen him now four times, and this is the second time it wasn't a full set (after the Operation Ceasefire show), but this is the first time I've not actively enjoyed the show. Basically little went well. The food beforehand at Rice (which we had before the Destroyer show in April) was kinda disappointing, as the ginger tempura wasn't as good, although the Tom Yum Goong was quite good.

The next night, however, we had a better plan. Starting with Peruvian chicken, some other mental refreshments, and off to the show to make sure to see the opener. Love Is All is Swedish pop. Which I had heard of, but I was going to see Of Montreal, so I didn't know that they were opening on this tour. But I'm always up for Scandinavian pop, and this brand of dance pop was a lot of fun. When they introduced a song as by one of the saxophonists' favorite bands, and they started into the drums of I Ran, I got a little bit of a charge. Just a fun opener, and a great way to get everyone excited for the headliners. Getting there early had allowed us to get my favorite area, on the edge of the balcony, so you can see basically the entire stage, important for this show. And the show was insane and awesome. I really can't recommend seeing them enough. And since so many other people have written about the show (let alone the ability to listen to the show), I feel like writing more is a little bit of overkill. If you follow one link, follow the "about the show" one, as it has many pictures. I will say that Kevin Barnes was not naked during the show (unlike the show in Vegas in 2007), but the show was probably the gayest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen gay porn. Apparently, it's not supposed to be straight-up queer, but it's kind of hard to miss that when he's singing about sucking dick. And yep, that interview does prove I was right, MBG.

Setlist from NPR:
Id Engager
So Begins Our Alabee
Triphallus, To Punctuate!
She's a Rejecter
For Our Elegant Caste
Touched Something's Hollow
An Eluardian Instance
Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse
Gallery Piece
Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)
Women's Studies Victims
St. Exquisite's Confessions
Eros' Entropic Tundra
Nonpareil of Favor
October is Eternal
Wicked Wisdom
Disconnect the Dots
Knight Rider
And I've Seen a Bloody Shadow
Plastis Wafers
Beware Our Nubile Miscreants
Mingusings
A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger
----------------------------------
Gronlandic Edit
Requiem For O.M.M.2

All throughout the next day I had Of Montreal songs stuck in my head, but none more than "A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger". I would have been miserable at attempting to write up a setlist, as I could have sworn they played songs multiple times. Which of course, they didn't, but I still loved it. Also, Chris Cooley was sitting not ten feet from where I was standing. He hasn't written it up on his blog yet, though.

EDIT: I came out of the show and found MBG and said, "I think I'm gay for Kevin Barnes." I doubt I'm the only one.

10/05/2008

The Bridge, Iron Man, Funeral in Berlin, & Billion Dollar Brain

The Bridge is a documentary about a year in the life of the Golden Gate Bridge. Focusing mainly on the 24 suicides that occurred during that year. The director actually filmed 23 of them. It's insane to watch people jump to their deaths. There were also stories of two attempted suicides, one woman was stopped by a photographer who started to take pictures of her as she climbed over and eventually dragged her back over the railing, and one guy who jumped and broke a lot of bones in the fall but survived. There are interviews with many family members, and it's kinda rough to watch all the people try to make sense of people killing themselves. It's painful.

Iron Man is crazy fun. Considerably better than say, almost every other superhero film. It's much lighter than The Dark Knight, and Robert Downey, Jr. basically pulled a Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribbean. He's been awesome for a long time, but it finally gets him huge, huge, huge movie star buzz. I feel like I am a poser, because I geeked out when Agent Coulson showed up and introduced himself as an agent of "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Engagement and Logistics Division", due to its obvious abbreviation as SHIELD. And of course, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. Definitely enjoyable, and recommended to anyone who has no problem believing a man could fly. Especially one that isn't as stupid as Superman.

Funeral in Berlin is the second in the Harry Palmer series of British spy films based on Len Deighton's novels after The Ipcress File, which I saw some years ago. For a long time, Funeral in Berlin wasn't available on Netflix, which contributed to my inability to watch it. This is actually slightly better, a real spy story, and Michael Caine is very comfortable in the role. It's basically a more realistic James Bond, about trying to secure a defection of a Soviet colonel. I really wasn't expecting it to also include bits including the Mossad and Nazi war criminals. The bureaucratic references were expected.

Billion Dollar Brain is the last Harry Palmer movie with Michael Caine made in the 60s, and therefore the last one I plan on watching. He made one in the mid-90s but it wasn't based on a Len Deighton novel. This one is about a clearly fascist (his logo is extremely similar to a swastika) Texas oilman who has a messiah complex and a huge computer that is going to tell him how to foment revolt in Latvia and take down the Soviet Union. It's not nearly as strong, as it is kinda ridiculous. Too James Bond-y, but not Connery, it's more Moore. Definitely a disappointment after the first two strong ones in the series.

If...., Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom, Criminal Woman: Killing Melody, & The Yakuza

If.... is Malcolm McDowell's first film, as an angry student who joins a couple others who revolt against their oppressive teachers, parents, and the prefects. Or whatever they're called. A lot of the early scenes reminded me of Harry Potter. Mainly because they're both very British versions of a boarding school. Of course, this one includes full-frontal female nudity (apparently the full-frontal male nudity was cut to allow for the extended female nudity), so it doesn't quite fit with Harry Potter's intended audience. I mean, massacres, beatings, nudity, drinking, and the like are only hinted at in most of Harry Potter.

Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom is an interesting counterpoint to If.... as it's also about a group of kids rebelling against an oppressive school regime, although this is only about the rebelling, there's little about any deeper meanings. As a Pinky Violence film, there is a crazy amount of S&M and nudity. In fact, it's a little much. I think I can't watch too many more S&M films. I find them extremely discomforting. And the obvious relish with which the scenes are filmed doesn't help. And is there something about the Japanese and peeing? There's another scene of a woman wetting herself (at least it's not a woman peeing on the head of another one). Seriously, it's not the first, and I doubt it'll be the last. It's never really funny.

Criminal Woman: Killing Melody is another Pinky Violence film, this one about a group of Yakuza who kill the father of a woman. She, of course, needs to revenge herself on the yakuza. Here's a conversation with the newly christened Sally Albright, a reference to a certain character from one of my favorite romantic comedies of all time.
me: I'm watching a crazy japanese film
Sally Albright: another Japanese school girl sexploitation murder mayhem movie?
me: not school girl this time, they've all spent time in prison
me: they are however righting wrongs that yakuza perpetrated upon one of their fathers
me: with lots of sex and violence
Sally Albright: It's good to know that they're using their deadly sexy powers for good.
Sally Albright: .. sorry for using good twice in one sentence
Sally Albright: that was terrible
me: well, they're women, and that's what you use your bodies for, right?
me: having sex for money to buy guns to start a gang war to kill the people who killed your father?
Sally Albright: It varies a bit based on each individual's situation, but that's the gist of it
me: well, it explains why misogyny is so popular
Sally Albright: Well, if misogyny were so wrong, God would have put a stop to it by now.
me: I thought you were going to say if misogyny is so wrong, I don't want to be right
Sally Albright: I should have.
Sally Albright: I'm just a little off tonight. What with the good-good and missing such a great opportunity
me: this one is actually more trashy than I expected
me: insane amounts of nudity
me: still it's japanese nudity though, so just t&a, even though it's basically naked woman-gunfight-naked woman-knee to the groin-naked woman-killing all movie
me: oh, that was a gun barrel to a breast
me: chainsaw to a mannequin's breasts...
me: well, this is decidedly more lurid than I was expecting
Sally Albright: sounds delightful
Sally Albright: a nice, light Tuesday night flick
me: well, I like to relax
me: cigarette to the breast
me: and now to the other one..
me: this is actually making me feel uncomfortable
Sally Albright: really? that's impressive considering how much of that type of movie you seem to be watching these days
me: she better cut off a dick with that razor
Unfortunately, she didn't cut off a dick with the razor. Just ended up using the men and shooting people, and then fighting another woman at the end and wasting lots of drugs.

The Yakuza is Orientalism for dummies. Or maybe I'm just too familiar with Yakuza and Japanese tropes. It's directed by Sydney Pollack from a script by Paul Schrader and Robert Towne, and it stars Robert Mitchum, so there's a lot of talent involved, but I just thought it was a mediocre Yakuza film. I guess I'm just too familiar with how it was going to end. There were some issues, like why the hell would the police not come when Mitchum stabbed a dude in a public bath? No one cares about that? I'm probably grading it too harshly, but while I liked bits and pieces of it, it's just bits and pieces.

9/21/2008

Onibaba, Tom Yum Goong, Postal, & Girl Boss Guerilla

Onibaba is a pretty good Japanese ghost story, with a pretty freaky bit of makeup near the end. I was also surprised by just how much nudity was in the film. As it's a Japanese film, no full-frontal, but the two female characters spend a good portion of the film with one or both breasts exposed. Surprising for a film made in 1964. Beyond that, though, it's a moral tale of a mother and daughter whose husband doesn't return from a war and so they start killing lost samurai and selling their armor to survive. Then a man comes into their lives, and they start to fight over him. It all ends tragically, with the help of a demon mask that's pretty freaky.

Tom Yum Goong is a Tony Jaa movie. To know what that means picture this: a young Jackie Chan with less charisma but with more elbows to the head and knees to the stomach. He does all of his own stunts, and the film is all the more impressive for that. Especially the four-minute or so long tracking shot of him going up the stairs at a secret restaurant in Sydney that cooks up endangered species is one of the most impressive fight scenes filmed. It's just one take of him throwing people through walls, off balconies, down stairs, and dodging flying vases. Of course, the plot is basically: tranny stole Tony's elephants and killed his dad and so Tony has to fight through hundreds of people to get them back. Yes, I did say tranny. I'd object, except for the fact that basically every white person is evil, as in most Asian films. I'd object about that, except that we are kinda evil. The ending fight scene where Tony discovers the fate of his elephants and then breaks the bones of about fifty dudes in black just went on too long, as did the Tony loves his elephants section near the beginning. I did see the original international cut rather than the bastardized version (as the Protector) unleashed upon these shores by the Weinsteins, and I dislike them for that, but they did put it out on DVD, so I got to see it at least. Not as good as Ong Bak, but it has much less unnecessary repeating of awesome stunts (in that it had none). Here's my comments on Ong-Bak when I saw it in April of 2004 from the last blog: "Ong-Bak. I don't know what else to say except that if they just played every stunt once, then the movie would have been at least five minutes shorter. I get it that the stunts are amazing, but still, just play them once. Is the movie amazing otherwise? Hell yes. The movie's plot was eh, but the stunts. One "holy s---" moment after another. I'm amazed that the star didn't die. Just an incredible movie. I am just utterly amazed by those fight scenes. We're talking about the stunts and fights from two mid-level Jackie Chan films. In one film. Probably better stunts than any Jackie Chan film, although those are occasionally more death-defying, this one just had more. This movie needs to be seen to be believed. Wow! There was a little CGI, but strangely most that I noticed was just a smoke. And the three-wheeled vehicle chase? I think it was just an excuse to throw them off of highway bridges. Still, so much neat stuff." Yes, I censored myself with dashes back then. Rather than avoiding it unless I'm pissed or the film forces it. And Tom Yum Goong includes a nod to Jackie Chan with a cameo from a Chan double when Tony Jaa first arrives in Australia.

Postal is stupid. It just goes down a list of groups to offend and proceeds to offend them in the most immature way possible. Things I never wanted to see in a film but now have: THIS ENTIRE FUCKING FILM. Uwe Boll is a cinematic cancer and deserves to have his fate in this film in real life. Yes, he wrote himself into the film as the owner of theme park Little Germany (that took over Little Holland, ooh clever), and spouts stupid commentary about how important this film is and then tells bad Holocaust jokes. And then gets shot in the crotch. That's the level of this film. It has Dave Foley fully nude and then taking a very smelly dump while smoking a joint. Argh... I want to catalogue just how terrible this film is, but the more time I spend thinking about it the more I want to punch Uwe Boll in the balls. Repeatedly.

Girl Boss Guerilla is the first film in a Pinky Violence collection I received. Pinky films are basically Japanese sexploitation films, and this one was actually directed by the guy who directed School of the Holy Beast. As in that film, there's pissing jokes (one after four yakuza get the clap from one of the girl gang who has sex with a priest who has the clap, and the other when one of the gang gets pissed on trying to grab a filled condom after a nun had sex with a monk to blackmail him), gratuitous nudity, bondage, girl fighting, terrible slapstick, and just enough actual goodness to make the bad parts almost watchable. Occasional scenes are filled with tension and awesomeness (the finale on the road, and occasional shots like the introduction of Nami). But the violence against women is almost constant and the humor is crappy. Ultimately, the bad outweighs the good. The film follows two other films in the series, but I don't think it mattered much. I'm also not sure what the Guerilla really means in the context of the film.

Gone in 60 Seconds, The Lives of Others, Prince of the City, & The Lost Boys: The Tribe

Gone in 60 Seconds is not the Angelina Jolie-Nicholas Cage film. This is the original, the one referenced in Deathproof. The acting is amateurish at best, as most of the cast had little to no experience, it's all about the ridiculousness of the plot: stealing 48 cars in two days. It's stupid, it's kinda crap, and it's far too long. But it does have a 40 minute car chase scene at the end. Of an hour and forty minute long film. Basically, you can skip the first hour and still know everything that has happened beforehand by reading this sentence: Insurance worker has to steal 48 cars in two days and steals 47 with little hassle but the last one is a problem and so he has to escape from the vast majority of the Carson City police department. The car chase was clearly a labor of love, as the writer/director/star/every car in the film owner/producer also stunt drove many of the cars in the film, and it's occasionally impressive, but ultimately, it's just an excuse for the car chase. If you like them, then the movie is worth watching, if not, avoid like the plague on bad dialogue and performances the film is.

The Lives of Others beat out Pan's Labyrinth for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. I kinda preferred Pan's Labyrinth. This is a great film, touching, with a realistic ending that makes sense within the film. But I also had a problem with a couple of the slightly-anti-woman aspects of it, and the fact that it felt like it could have been set in any particular totalitarian state near the end of its run. Those are just minor problems in an excellent with an otherwise extremely strong pair of performances by the policeman and the playwright. It just felt kinda dreary and like it'd been done before, while Pan's Labyrinth was full of inventive scenes and didn't immediately feel like anything I'd seen before (even as it brought to mind Alice in Wonderland and Labyrinth).

Deliver Us from Evil is another depressing film, this one about a Catholic priest who goes through a few parishes in California in the 70s and 80s sexually abusing girls and how the Church covered it up by sending him to another parish rather than, you know, actually doing anything about the fact that this priest was raping kids. This is a main reason why I don't trust organized religion: it puts humans into positions where they "talk to God" and therefore have people trust them far more than if they were just a normal person. Plus, the whole "Priests have to remain celibate" just leads to them repressing a normal sex drive and becoming sick and twisted. Sure, some, maybe even most, priests are not pedophiles, but some of them are complicit in the coverups, including the current Pope. It's disgusting what religions are able to get away with in the name of "God". The world would be better off without organized religion. Watching these families still struggle with the abuse thirty years later was heartbreaking.

Prince of the City is a long film dependent upon a performance from Treat Williams. As such, he's actually the weakest thing in this otherwise sprawling epic of cleaning up police corruption in New York City. Especially towards the end of the film, it starts to drag and it's mainly due to Treat being not nearly as good then as earlier. I won't complain about the strong supporting turns by Jerry Orbach and Bob Balaban among many others, but at least some of the blame for Williams's dragging performance is at the feat of Sidney Lumet. The film is too long at almost 3 hours long, and all the supporting characters are hustled in and out fairly quickly, many making their mark, but also requiring a huge amount of knowledge of which characters are which and their relationships, some of which gets confused. It may not have a powerhouse performance from Al Pacino like Serpico, but this feels much more realistic. It's a shame that it gets away from Lumet towards the end.

The Lost Boys: The Tribe is terrible. And cheesy. And Corey Feldman and Corey Haim aren't enough. Eesh. Oh, and if you are watching it for Two Corey action, don't bother, he's only in a scene at the very end, and in some alternate endings included on the DVD. He's not a starring role Netflix suggests. The main characters barely register, and the stunt casting of Angus Sutherland to replace Kiefer was offensive. Angus is terrible. It's just not worth the attempted nostalgia trip. Watch The Lost Boys again, or Near Dark (a better 80s vampire film, even if it doesn't scream 80s as much).

9/07/2008

Live Free or Die Hard, The Red Shoes, Dumplings, The Good German, The Middleman (again), & Scott Pilgrim

Live Free or Die Hard is the fourth (and I hope last) Die Hard film. The first one is one of the best action films of all time, and I like the second one. The third one, however, was utter crap. The first two were at least somewhat based in a slightly heightened reality, and the third one just tossed that out of the window. And this one was even worse. Maybe it has to do with living in DC and having been to Baltimore quite a few times, but every building I recognized (besides the obvious ones like Capitol building and other monuments) was in Baltimore during the big chase scene in DC. And that's also ignoring the final chase scene that's supposed to be set just north of Baltimore on 695, and the highways are clearly Southern California, with palm trees and overlapping highway overpasses that basically are a California thing and are nothing like highways in Maryland. Also, the movie is also ridiculous when it comes to plot. And wastes Maggie Q, who is only there to look attractive. I also had a serious problem with "Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?" which I know was just trying to get on Timothy Olyphant's bad side. But that racial stereotype grated on me. Actually, just about everyone in the film besides Bruce Willis and Justin Long were wasted. Those two clearly have no more talent than what was shown in the film. Basically, the film was terrible and stupid.

The Red Shoes is not the Powell-Pressburger film, it's a recent K-Horror film, clearly still based on the Hans Christian Andersen story, but with a Korean twist. I objected to the shoes clearly being pink. And to the complete ripoff of Fight Club. Kinda creepy, but the stereotypical Asian horror touches (ghosts with long hair and walking strangely) just aren't nearly as interesting the hundredth time.

Dumplings is the extended version of the Fruit Chan part of Three... Extremes. The plot is slightly different, missing the freakiest scene from the short, but adding more character parts and being slightly more interesting. Still quite good looking and freaky, and I should try to see some Fruit Chan films to see if it's a one-off, but the ones I've read are good aren't really available on Netflix. I don't understand why it makes me want dumplings. But I want dumplings.

The Good German is Soderbergh being ridiculous. He basically just said: Casablanca and The Third Man are awesome films, and what made them amazing was the studio system that made the films. Not the talent or the writing. So he apes those two films constantly, never coming close to that quality.

Venus has a good performance from Peter O'Toole and Jodie Whittaker, but ultimately feels like a small character piece rather than saying anything important about anything.

The Middleman: The Collected Series Indispensability is the complete Middleman comic. The first TPB is basically the first episode of the show, the second TPB is the third episode, and bits and pieces of the third TPB were used throughout the rest of the show, from Manservant Neville to the Honey Ryder bikini joke. I actually don't like the ending of the comic at all, and prefer the tv show's version of the Middleman, although that may be due to that being my introduction to the universe. But I certainly recommend it to everyone. Also, I got the Scott Pilgrim odds and ends collection, with all the main comics being familiar to me due to most of them being online, but I cannot recommend Scott Pilgrim enough (and I apparently haven't raved about it yet on the blog?).

9/02/2008

Hands on a Hard Body & The Middleman

Hands on a Hard Body is a documentary about a contest in Texas (although it seems like it's not just a contest in Longview, but in other areas around the country, but that wasn't entirely made clear) where 24 people stand with at least one hand on a Nissan pickup for as long as possible until the last one standing wins the truck. As you'd expect, it's full of stereotypes, but since they're actually people, and the entire 97 minute running time is spent either during the actual contest or interviews with the contestants, you get behind the stereotypes. Unless they are just stereotypes, like the husband and wife who are missing wide swathes of teeth, but the husband is proud of his 20 ton air conditioner that can cool his living room to -12 degrees. Because who doesn't need that? I have to say that I had a tiny bit of schadenfreude with the overly religious woman who had a big prayer chain for her. Eventually, the person I hated the least won, so that made the movie better, but it's 97 minutes of a fascinating look at desperate people in Texas who want to spend three days standing next to a truck. It was directed by S.R. Bindler, who is apparently good friends with Matthew McConaughey, who is thanked in the credits along with Benicio Del Toro (and, ummm, Arnold Vosloo, who was in The Mummy). Unfortunately, due to it not being available on DVD or VHS, it's basically only available online, and it was posted to Google Video last week. I watched it on Sunday, and it's apparently been taken down since then. So, I'm not sure how best to watch this awesome film.

Also, this week was (I hope not) the last episode of The Middleman. If you have not watched this show, I hate you a little. If you like comic books and/or snarky pop-culture referencing attractive 20-somethings, I may hate you a little bit more. And if this is the last episode ever, I might even revise that hatred upwards. I should be getting "The Collected Series Indispensability" tomorrow.